Passion for something...

Everytime I think "This is it, I've found something I really like and hope to further my interest in it", I end up losing interest in it. In JC, it was Literature. This time, it's in language and Psychology, two of the fields I've always been very interested in.

There's just this block that prevents me from really having the desire to want to continue reading on and thinking more about it. It wasn't like this last academic year, but it seems to be now. Perhaps it's because of Cognitive Psych, or perhaps it's the textbook (which makes me rather shallow I think), or perhaps it's the increasing pressure of having to maintain my grades attained last year. Though I know it wasn't exactly very great since it wasn't first class, I like to think I've come out of my own shadow in Secondary school and have improved since then.

Or maybe it's the fact that this 2nd year has started off with several unknown variables- Research Assistant job, tuition, 6 subjects, a separate project group and a continuation of CCA in school- things which I have to take time to slowly get used to and feel my way around first. I realise now I shouldn't have been so ambitious as to take up so many commitments, but life isn't gonna be as kind to me as in school now, where I can have the option of choosing which commitments to drop and which to follow up. Furthermore, a word given is a word given. Ah, never mind, I shall take it easy and see how it goes from here. Stress and Yi Ling never goes well together, and well I should know that, from Secondary school when I insisted on taking 9 subjects when I simply shouldn't have.

Ambition, ambition. Maybe I should follow Evon's fantasy and go live as a hermit or something. Maybe then I'd recover my interest in humans. I feel rather drained. I think it's cos most of the modules I'm taking involve humans and a certain degree of empathy. I'm unable to feel that once again. This lack of empathy was what made my Lit results in Prelims so disastrous. I just felt so dried up. That's why I was a bit afraid of taking up Psychology. There was a fear I might go into something which I really felt I could feel for and then subsequently lose interest in it. Perhaps I'm not psychologist material after all after this episode, but it's the only field which I can connect with and feel a passion for.

Or perhaps this is just a result of the long holidays, where I got so used to slacking at home that subconsciously I was unhappy about the fact that I'd have to give all of that up to go back to study. I've just gotta change my mindset and get back to that studying mode.

Yep, 'nuff said. I'm gonna pull up my socks and try harder!!

Beginning of school...

Today was the last day of tuition. I'm gonna miss my students! Although I know I often complain about their lack of attention and whine about how to improve their standards, they've been an adorable bunch to teach. Not only adorable, they've been so sweet! I shall always remember Jonell's sudden remark, "Teacher, you know what? My hobby is saving money." and Bryan's generous gesture of giving Yi Lun two mechanical pencils when he heard it was her birthday. There're so many things which I can remember about them, but it would take quite long to repeat them all here. =) Suffice it to say that I'll miss them!!

Here's the picture I took with them!


From left: Me, Jonell, Bryan







Haha, what started out as a job became something of an activity. They're more like mentees rather than students, seriously. Although I never really looked forward to going for tuition (cos their tuition's after lunch and I get really sleepy), once there, I get kinda energised. You never know what kind of revelation they're gonna spring on you, seriously.

Anyway, with tuition ended, my Saturdays will be free of interruptions. Hopefully I'll get to catch up on my readings. I'm trying to keep up, but it's an uphill task. I've kinda decided to just start afresh this week and try to get my readings done. As for last week's readings... well, I guess I'm gonna have to let it slide for awhile. Man... I must get round to doing them. Especially for Cognitive Psychology, with the test one week away. Argh. How am I gonna remember the visual pathways etc etc?

DAC Welcome Tea's this coming Tuesday, and guess what? I'm gonna be the emcee for the event! Evon says it's cool to be able to do it, and would look nice on my CV yadayada, and I think it'd be a nice experience too. However, I do hope I'll be able to be interesting, cos I'm simply not the entertaining kind of speaker. I can't just pull jokes out of my head and say it in a deadpan tone that'd make people laugh. I wish I could do that. I always admire people who can think fast on their feet. No surprise why I gave up the thought of pursuing law then, eh? This is my first time emcee-ing, and it's in an LT, in front of possible 100+ people. I'm rather nervous about it, actually. It's not like presentation, where I'm presenting to a class. It's like... to a sample of the NTU population. I hope I do a good job!!

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Quality Time
with a secondary love language being
Words of Affirmation.

Complete set of results

Quality Time:		9
Words of Affirmation:		8
Acts of Service:		5
Physical Touch:		5
Receiving Gifts:		3

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

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