Haha I'm a happy girl now! The 2 men in my life bought me my favourite! My father bought me chocolate stuff from UK, and KY bought me potato chips! Haha these are my essentials for facing the quizzes and stuff for the next week! =) Thanks guys! Haha they made my weekend brighter! =)
OMG I sound so hyper. Anyway, back to work. Bye!
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Mahjong
Is there a module in Mahjong offered in NTU that I didn't know about? Seems like there are quite a few people taking that module. They have been so hardworking, practising for the Mahjong quiz that's coming after this recess. This is the first night they're practising since recess started I suppose, but I think they've been hard at work since the beginning of the sem. Even when everyone goes to classes, there are some who are practising as well. Well, I hope they do well for the Mahjong quiz! =)
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Some questions answered just coz i felt bored.
i) grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. write down what it says: "The sample standard deviation is defined to be..." -- Thank goodness they didn't say line 5, or I'd have hell typing out the whole line of equation. Of all things the book nearest to me had to be Stats. -_-"
ii)stretch your left arm out as far as you can. what do you touch first? Yi Lun's study table.
iii)what is the last thing you watched on tv? Some travel programme about Turkey. Travel programme! I want to travel!!
iv)guess what the time is:545pm
now look at the clock, what is the actual time?539pm. I'm hungry!
v)with the exception of the computer, what can you hear? My fan.
vi)when did you last step outside? what were you doing? Yesterday evening. I was having dinner and looking at entertainment ;)
vii)before you came to this website, what did you look at? My email inbox.
iix)what are you wearing? A pink cotton blouse and shorts. Do I need to be more specific?
ix)did you dream last night? Yes.
x)when did you last laugh? Yesterday, quite a bit. =)
xi)what is/are on the walls of the room you are in? So many things! Bulletin board in front of me, Peke's portrait, whiteboard, puzzle.
xii)what book are you currently reading? A mixture of Stats, Linguistics, Malay... Do you want me to go on? I can see your eyes glazing over. Either that, or you laughing and telling me to get a life and be serious. =)
xiii)what is the last book you finished? The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides. Disturbing book.
xiv)if you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first? Pay off Evon and Yi Lun's school fees.
xv)tell me something about you that i don't know: Uhm. I talk in my sleep?
xvi)if you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would it be? That Pandora never opened the box.
xvii)do you like to dance? NO. I can't co-ordinate my body to save my life. But I do like to see people dance.
xviii)what is the last thing you ate or drank? Funny you should ask. I just drank water.
xix)imagine your first child to be a girl, what do you call her? Not sure, something with a Si or a Min. Haha I'm partial to those 2 words, but PLEASE not Si Min. =S
xx)imagine your first child to be a boy, what do you call him? Joshua! or Ethan! Haha I always liked those 2 names. =)
ii)stretch your left arm out as far as you can. what do you touch first? Yi Lun's study table.
iii)what is the last thing you watched on tv? Some travel programme about Turkey. Travel programme! I want to travel!!
iv)guess what the time is:545pm
now look at the clock, what is the actual time?539pm. I'm hungry!
v)with the exception of the computer, what can you hear? My fan.
vi)when did you last step outside? what were you doing? Yesterday evening. I was having dinner and looking at entertainment ;)
vii)before you came to this website, what did you look at? My email inbox.
iix)what are you wearing? A pink cotton blouse and shorts. Do I need to be more specific?
ix)did you dream last night? Yes.
x)when did you last laugh? Yesterday, quite a bit. =)
xi)what is/are on the walls of the room you are in? So many things! Bulletin board in front of me, Peke's portrait, whiteboard, puzzle.
xii)what book are you currently reading? A mixture of Stats, Linguistics, Malay... Do you want me to go on? I can see your eyes glazing over. Either that, or you laughing and telling me to get a life and be serious. =)
xiii)what is the last book you finished? The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides. Disturbing book.
xiv)if you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first? Pay off Evon and Yi Lun's school fees.
xv)tell me something about you that i don't know: Uhm. I talk in my sleep?
xvi)if you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would it be? That Pandora never opened the box.
xvii)do you like to dance? NO. I can't co-ordinate my body to save my life. But I do like to see people dance.
xviii)what is the last thing you ate or drank? Funny you should ask. I just drank water.
xix)imagine your first child to be a girl, what do you call her? Not sure, something with a Si or a Min. Haha I'm partial to those 2 words, but PLEASE not Si Min. =S
xx)imagine your first child to be a boy, what do you call him? Joshua! or Ethan! Haha I always liked those 2 names. =)
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Random Ramblings Again
Haha I couldn't think of a good title for this entry, so just titled it thus. And anyway, I have a few things to talk about, so I just came up with that. They are random, anyway.
So. Some of you know that Yi Lun left yesterday. I was expecting to cry, but I didn't expect my tears to come so late. I thought I'd cry like long before she boarded the plane, but the tears came just before she boarded. I guess I was still in denial that she's really going to leave. It's hard imagining someone who has lived with you for 19 years going away, and this time, it's not going away for some one-week camp- it's 9 months. Many people say 9 months will pass very fast, and that we'll be too busy to think of each other in any case. I agree with that, but, there's no denying the fact that someone close to you is going to embark on another journey, another chapter of her life, without you by her side knowing what she's thinking, how she's feeling, when she's been doing that all the time for the past 19 years. Haha, I'll really miss her, you know. Who's going to laugh at all the stupid things that I say or think about? And who's going to listen to me talking and talking and just being patient with me (though she does show her impatience...) I know I've mentioned it before, but just in case she reads this entry, at least I can stroke her ego a bit. Haha... Anyway, I digress. I do hope she makes good friends over there, and that she can adapt to the environment there quickly. Tay Lun if you read this, jiayou k! Don't be scared, things will turn out fine. Anyway, you have Xinyi and Paula there to look out for you. =)
Ok on to my second point now. I've written an entry on this before, about chivalry, and I'm glad to say again, that chivalry's not dead! I was on the MRT just now, and there was a seat behind me, a middle-aged lady on my left, and a 50+ man on my right. I knew he wanted the seat, cos he'd been walking around looking for one. But when there was the seat in front of him, he offered to the lady first before taking the seat when she rejected. Hmm I think some of you are wondering why he didn't ask me (or not), but my guess is that it's cos she's older than me, and youngsters are seen to be more healthy than their elders? But my point here is that AT LEAST HE OFFERED the seat. It's rather seldom that you see men giving up seats for ladies on buses and trains these days. Sure, you see youngsters giving up seats for the elderly, the pregnant women and those who need the seats. But with equality of the sexes, some people tend to forget about chivalry. I'm not trying to be a feminist here. I'm trying to point out that though there may be equality in sexes now, everyone appreciates a gentleman or a chivalrous person.
And my last ramble would be about travelling to school. My first day travelling to school early in the morning and I've reinforced my conviction that I'm better off staying in hall. Besides the newly added bonus of staying in hall (*winks*), the travelling time and the distance and the time I have to wake up are insane. Just for a 930am class, I have to wake up at an unearthly hour of 630am. I haven't woken this early since JC days. And to travel to NTU takes 1 1/2 hours. Added to the fact that it's rush hour to and from the school, I've gotta squeeze with so many more people and it's hard to find your own space to stand. And I'm paranoid about being pickpocketed. -_-" Lucky we decided to go for the 130pm class tomorrow, so I don't have to wake up earlier tomorrow. And I can have lunch at home! Yay!
Ok, I'm going to do my work now. Been really really slack. Argh. And you know what? Time passes slower at home than in hall. Makes you wonder where time flies to, doesn't it? =)
So. Some of you know that Yi Lun left yesterday. I was expecting to cry, but I didn't expect my tears to come so late. I thought I'd cry like long before she boarded the plane, but the tears came just before she boarded. I guess I was still in denial that she's really going to leave. It's hard imagining someone who has lived with you for 19 years going away, and this time, it's not going away for some one-week camp- it's 9 months. Many people say 9 months will pass very fast, and that we'll be too busy to think of each other in any case. I agree with that, but, there's no denying the fact that someone close to you is going to embark on another journey, another chapter of her life, without you by her side knowing what she's thinking, how she's feeling, when she's been doing that all the time for the past 19 years. Haha, I'll really miss her, you know. Who's going to laugh at all the stupid things that I say or think about? And who's going to listen to me talking and talking and just being patient with me (though she does show her impatience...) I know I've mentioned it before, but just in case she reads this entry, at least I can stroke her ego a bit. Haha... Anyway, I digress. I do hope she makes good friends over there, and that she can adapt to the environment there quickly. Tay Lun if you read this, jiayou k! Don't be scared, things will turn out fine. Anyway, you have Xinyi and Paula there to look out for you. =)
Ok on to my second point now. I've written an entry on this before, about chivalry, and I'm glad to say again, that chivalry's not dead! I was on the MRT just now, and there was a seat behind me, a middle-aged lady on my left, and a 50+ man on my right. I knew he wanted the seat, cos he'd been walking around looking for one. But when there was the seat in front of him, he offered to the lady first before taking the seat when she rejected. Hmm I think some of you are wondering why he didn't ask me (or not), but my guess is that it's cos she's older than me, and youngsters are seen to be more healthy than their elders? But my point here is that AT LEAST HE OFFERED the seat. It's rather seldom that you see men giving up seats for ladies on buses and trains these days. Sure, you see youngsters giving up seats for the elderly, the pregnant women and those who need the seats. But with equality of the sexes, some people tend to forget about chivalry. I'm not trying to be a feminist here. I'm trying to point out that though there may be equality in sexes now, everyone appreciates a gentleman or a chivalrous person.
And my last ramble would be about travelling to school. My first day travelling to school early in the morning and I've reinforced my conviction that I'm better off staying in hall. Besides the newly added bonus of staying in hall (*winks*), the travelling time and the distance and the time I have to wake up are insane. Just for a 930am class, I have to wake up at an unearthly hour of 630am. I haven't woken this early since JC days. And to travel to NTU takes 1 1/2 hours. Added to the fact that it's rush hour to and from the school, I've gotta squeeze with so many more people and it's hard to find your own space to stand. And I'm paranoid about being pickpocketed. -_-" Lucky we decided to go for the 130pm class tomorrow, so I don't have to wake up earlier tomorrow. And I can have lunch at home! Yay!
Ok, I'm going to do my work now. Been really really slack. Argh. And you know what? Time passes slower at home than in hall. Makes you wonder where time flies to, doesn't it? =)
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
When God Made Women
I found this on my friend's blog, and found it really sweet. If I was undergoing hormonal changes, I'd probably be bawling my eyes out at this already, seeing as I am still feeling a bit weepy, for those who know what day this is. But this entry is not about the event that's going to happen. This entry is about the following:
When God Made Women
The time the Lord made women, he was into his 6th day of working overtime.
An Angel appeared and said, "why are you spending so much time on this one?".
And the Lord answered and said,
"Have you seen the specsheet on her?
She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200 movable parts, all replaceable, run on black coffee and leftovers,
have a lap that can hold three children at one time and that disappears when she stands up, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart and have six pairs of hands."
The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one."Six pairs of hands! No Way!", said the Angel.
The Lord replied,
"Oh, it's not the hands that are the problem.
It's the three pairs of eyes that women must have!".
"And that's just on the standard model?" the Angel asked.
The Lord nodded in agreement.
"Yep, one pair of eyes are to see through the closed door as she asks her children what they are doing even though she already knows.
Another pair in the back of her head are to see what she needs to know even though no one thinks she can.
And the third pair are here in the front of her head.
They are for looking at an errant child and saying that she understands and loves him or her without even saying a single word."
The Angel tried to stop the Lord.
"This is too much work for one day.
Wait until tomorrow to finish."
But I can't!", the Lord protested,
"I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart."
She already heals herself when she is sick and
can feed a family of six on a pound of hamburger and
can get a nine year old to stand in the shower."
The Angel moved closer and touched the woman,
"but you have made her so soft Lord."
"She is soft", the Lord greed, "but I have also made her tough."
You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."
"Will she be able to think?", asked the Angel.
The Lord replied,
"not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate."
The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the woman's cheek.
"Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model."
I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."
That's not a leak," the Lord objected,
"that's a tear!"
"What's the tear for?" the Angel asked.
The Lord said,
"the tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her loneliness, her grief, and her pride."
The Angel was impressed.
"You are a genius, Lord.
You thought of everything, for women are truly amazing."
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They carry children, they carry hardships,
they carry burdens but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up for injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without new shoes so their children can have them.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about a birth or a new marriage.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They have sorrow at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run to you to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin.
They bring joy and hope.
They give compassion and ideals.
They have so much to give.
When God Made Women
The time the Lord made women, he was into his 6th day of working overtime.
An Angel appeared and said, "why are you spending so much time on this one?".
And the Lord answered and said,
"Have you seen the specsheet on her?
She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200 movable parts, all replaceable, run on black coffee and leftovers,
have a lap that can hold three children at one time and that disappears when she stands up, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart and have six pairs of hands."
The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one."Six pairs of hands! No Way!", said the Angel.
The Lord replied,
"Oh, it's not the hands that are the problem.
It's the three pairs of eyes that women must have!".
"And that's just on the standard model?" the Angel asked.
The Lord nodded in agreement.
"Yep, one pair of eyes are to see through the closed door as she asks her children what they are doing even though she already knows.
Another pair in the back of her head are to see what she needs to know even though no one thinks she can.
And the third pair are here in the front of her head.
They are for looking at an errant child and saying that she understands and loves him or her without even saying a single word."
The Angel tried to stop the Lord.
"This is too much work for one day.
Wait until tomorrow to finish."
But I can't!", the Lord protested,
"I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart."
She already heals herself when she is sick and
can feed a family of six on a pound of hamburger and
can get a nine year old to stand in the shower."
The Angel moved closer and touched the woman,
"but you have made her so soft Lord."
"She is soft", the Lord greed, "but I have also made her tough."
You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."
"Will she be able to think?", asked the Angel.
The Lord replied,
"not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate."
The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the woman's cheek.
"Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model."
I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."
That's not a leak," the Lord objected,
"that's a tear!"
"What's the tear for?" the Angel asked.
The Lord said,
"the tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her loneliness, her grief, and her pride."
The Angel was impressed.
"You are a genius, Lord.
You thought of everything, for women are truly amazing."
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They carry children, they carry hardships,
they carry burdens but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up for injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without new shoes so their children can have them.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about a birth or a new marriage.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They have sorrow at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run to you to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin.
They bring joy and hope.
They give compassion and ideals.
They have so much to give.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Photocopy Machines
Did you ever wonder why some people describe photocopy machines as "spitting" out paper?
Frankly, I never wondered why photocopy machines were described like this until I went to the photocopy shop just now to print more questionnaires. I was just stoning and waiting for my questionnaires to be printed when I realised that the part where the paper comes out looks like a mouth, and when the paper comes out, it looks like- you guessed it- the paper is being spat out of the printer! Cool, eh? I think I even managed to see the "tongue" pushing the paper out. Haha, so entertaining right? Never thought the photocopy would give me such a revelation today, particularly when I was feeling a bit bored about nothing to do but stare into space coz of the long queue and long wait.
So there you have it, entertainment can be derived from anything, anywhere. Cool, isn't it? =)
Yes, and now I have to find a way to entertain myself with stats. I've been playing with it since this morning, trying to get it to like me, but... I think it still doesn't very much want to like me... =( Never mind, I shall persevere with Stats. I shall continue wooing it. Haha, maybe I'll succeed in winning its heart like Si Huan did with Sheera. Hmm....
Frankly, I never wondered why photocopy machines were described like this until I went to the photocopy shop just now to print more questionnaires. I was just stoning and waiting for my questionnaires to be printed when I realised that the part where the paper comes out looks like a mouth, and when the paper comes out, it looks like- you guessed it- the paper is being spat out of the printer! Cool, eh? I think I even managed to see the "tongue" pushing the paper out. Haha, so entertaining right? Never thought the photocopy would give me such a revelation today, particularly when I was feeling a bit bored about nothing to do but stare into space coz of the long queue and long wait.
So there you have it, entertainment can be derived from anything, anywhere. Cool, isn't it? =)
Yes, and now I have to find a way to entertain myself with stats. I've been playing with it since this morning, trying to get it to like me, but... I think it still doesn't very much want to like me... =( Never mind, I shall persevere with Stats. I shall continue wooing it. Haha, maybe I'll succeed in winning its heart like Si Huan did with Sheera. Hmm....
Friday, September 14, 2007
A Mind of Its Own
Stop, slow down, take a deep breath (ooh yeah)
Stop, slow down, take a deep breath (na na na na na)
Ooh, oh
I look at you and I know you're trouble
I should run just fast as I can
One smile, game over
Here in front of you I stand
I know you're only gonna burst my bubble
Trouble is my heart don't care
It's ignoring all the danger signs
Stop, Slow down, take a deep breath, beware
I'm not willing to be so fearless, careless, just yet
Once bitten, twice shy, is what you get
My hearts got a mind of it's own
Won't listen to a word I say
Doesn't it know that I get hurt too
When it acts that way
Cos When it breaks I break
I don't know how much more of this I can take
Doesn't it know that I get hurt too
When it acts that way
Too many times I've witnessed
My heart make a fool of itself
So sure it's gonna turn out one way
Always turns out being somethin' else
My hearts got a real malfunction
Always flippin' into over ride
When I tell it to be sensible
It over rules my cynical mind
I'm not willing to be so open, transparent, no not yet
Once bitten twice shy, is what you get
(But here in front of you, there's nothin I can do)
My hearts got a mind of it's own
Won't listen to a word I say
Doesn't it know that I get hurt too
When it acts that way
Cos When it breaks I break
I don't know how much more of this I can take
Doesn't it know that I get hurt too
When it acts that way
My hearts got a mind of it's own
Won't listen to a word I say (word I say)
Doesn't it know that I get hurt too (hurt too)
When it acts that way
Cos When it breaks I break
I don't know how much more of this I can take
(I don't know how much more of this I can take)
Doesn't it know that I get hurt too
When it acts that way
Stop, slow down, take a deep breath
Think about what I'm doin'
Think about once bitten, twice shy
Stop, slow down, take a second
Before you rush right in
It's gonna be my tears you cry
My heart's got a mind of it's own (of it's own)
Won't listen to a word I say
Doesn't it know that I get hurt too
When it acts that way (when it acts that way)
Cos When it breaks I break (I break)
I don't know how much more of this I can take
(More of this I can take)
Doesn't it know that I get hurt too (get hurt too)
When it acts that way (when it acts that way)
My hearts got a mind of it's own (mind of it's own)
Won't listen to a word I say
Doesn't it know that I get hurt too
(Doesn't it know that I get hurt too)
When it acts that way (when it acts that way)
Cos when it breaks I break (Cos when it breaks I break)
I don't know how much more of this I can take
(More of this I can take)
Doesn't it know that I get hurt too
When it acts that way
My hearts got a mind of it's own
My hearts got a mind of it's own
Stop, slow down, take a deep breath
[Fade]
--- Victoria Beckham
Haha, didn't know she could sing right? I don't think very much of her voice too, but this song was rather catchy, and I've actually been wanting to find the lyrics to this song and her MP3 for a while now, but I kept forgetting to do so. So now, I have the lyrics, I'll try to find the MP3. And yes, you're right, her voice is not very good. =)But just the song and rhythm are not bad lah. If anyone knows where to find this song, tell me k!
Stop, slow down, take a deep breath (na na na na na)
Ooh, oh
I look at you and I know you're trouble
I should run just fast as I can
One smile, game over
Here in front of you I stand
I know you're only gonna burst my bubble
Trouble is my heart don't care
It's ignoring all the danger signs
Stop, Slow down, take a deep breath, beware
I'm not willing to be so fearless, careless, just yet
Once bitten, twice shy, is what you get
My hearts got a mind of it's own
Won't listen to a word I say
Doesn't it know that I get hurt too
When it acts that way
Cos When it breaks I break
I don't know how much more of this I can take
Doesn't it know that I get hurt too
When it acts that way
Too many times I've witnessed
My heart make a fool of itself
So sure it's gonna turn out one way
Always turns out being somethin' else
My hearts got a real malfunction
Always flippin' into over ride
When I tell it to be sensible
It over rules my cynical mind
I'm not willing to be so open, transparent, no not yet
Once bitten twice shy, is what you get
(But here in front of you, there's nothin I can do)
My hearts got a mind of it's own
Won't listen to a word I say
Doesn't it know that I get hurt too
When it acts that way
Cos When it breaks I break
I don't know how much more of this I can take
Doesn't it know that I get hurt too
When it acts that way
My hearts got a mind of it's own
Won't listen to a word I say (word I say)
Doesn't it know that I get hurt too (hurt too)
When it acts that way
Cos When it breaks I break
I don't know how much more of this I can take
(I don't know how much more of this I can take)
Doesn't it know that I get hurt too
When it acts that way
Stop, slow down, take a deep breath
Think about what I'm doin'
Think about once bitten, twice shy
Stop, slow down, take a second
Before you rush right in
It's gonna be my tears you cry
My heart's got a mind of it's own (of it's own)
Won't listen to a word I say
Doesn't it know that I get hurt too
When it acts that way (when it acts that way)
Cos When it breaks I break (I break)
I don't know how much more of this I can take
(More of this I can take)
Doesn't it know that I get hurt too (get hurt too)
When it acts that way (when it acts that way)
My hearts got a mind of it's own (mind of it's own)
Won't listen to a word I say
Doesn't it know that I get hurt too
(Doesn't it know that I get hurt too)
When it acts that way (when it acts that way)
Cos when it breaks I break (Cos when it breaks I break)
I don't know how much more of this I can take
(More of this I can take)
Doesn't it know that I get hurt too
When it acts that way
My hearts got a mind of it's own
My hearts got a mind of it's own
Stop, slow down, take a deep breath
[Fade]
--- Victoria Beckham
Haha, didn't know she could sing right? I don't think very much of her voice too, but this song was rather catchy, and I've actually been wanting to find the lyrics to this song and her MP3 for a while now, but I kept forgetting to do so. So now, I have the lyrics, I'll try to find the MP3. And yes, you're right, her voice is not very good. =)But just the song and rhythm are not bad lah. If anyone knows where to find this song, tell me k!
Saturday, September 08, 2007
Morals Vs Desires
When I was taking Gothic Literature for my A Levels, I never thought twice about why the theme of Morals vs Desires was a theme in the Gothic. I just thought it was aimed at exposing the darkness of human nature, and never wondered why it was morals vs desires and not something else.
Then I was thinking about my behaviour yesterday, and I came to the conclusion that the reason why Morals vs Desires is a theme in Gothic iterature is because Gothic Literature aims at showing the bestiality of Man, and that Man is unable to separate himself from the behaviour of beasts sometimes. We often have to struggle with our desires, and measure the amount of pleasure we will get from obtaining our desires vs the possible feelings of guilt we will get if we obtain those desires against the judgment of our Morals. So, following Freud's argument, it's basically our Id vs our Superego, and the dilemma the Ego is going through, trying to make a compromise between both the extremes. It causes a big frustration, that makes it hard for the Ego to settle down to concentrate on other things. The Ego tries to protect the human from turning into either a prude or a beast, while the extremes try to turn it otherwise. The struggle between morals and desires is horrific in itself, because it shows how easily we can all turn into beasts if we are easily swayed into following our desires.
I'm not saying that the behaviour that I was considering would be particularly beastly if I were to act upon my desires. I was just thinking that I would feel rather low if I were to impose what I wanted on others, and make them do what I wanted when they themselves have their own plans, their own dreams, to chase after. Who am I to make demands to be placed as a priority. I understand everyone has to have their own plans, their own dreams, their own priorities. I'd hate it myself if I were forced to do something which I thought the other party wanted, and I wouldn't want to wish that on anyone I consider significant to me. But... sometimes when there's a struggle, a part of me just wishes I could demand, and it's at the tip of my tongue sometimes. But I can't, and I don't think I will, because the decision to change has to come from within that other party. I don't want to be the one who stands in the way of people's dreams, just because it satisfied what I wanted. I think everyone has a right to their own priorities and dreams, and I will not stand in that way. It's just not a good thing to do.
Haha, am I making sense?
Then I was thinking about my behaviour yesterday, and I came to the conclusion that the reason why Morals vs Desires is a theme in Gothic iterature is because Gothic Literature aims at showing the bestiality of Man, and that Man is unable to separate himself from the behaviour of beasts sometimes. We often have to struggle with our desires, and measure the amount of pleasure we will get from obtaining our desires vs the possible feelings of guilt we will get if we obtain those desires against the judgment of our Morals. So, following Freud's argument, it's basically our Id vs our Superego, and the dilemma the Ego is going through, trying to make a compromise between both the extremes. It causes a big frustration, that makes it hard for the Ego to settle down to concentrate on other things. The Ego tries to protect the human from turning into either a prude or a beast, while the extremes try to turn it otherwise. The struggle between morals and desires is horrific in itself, because it shows how easily we can all turn into beasts if we are easily swayed into following our desires.
I'm not saying that the behaviour that I was considering would be particularly beastly if I were to act upon my desires. I was just thinking that I would feel rather low if I were to impose what I wanted on others, and make them do what I wanted when they themselves have their own plans, their own dreams, to chase after. Who am I to make demands to be placed as a priority. I understand everyone has to have their own plans, their own dreams, their own priorities. I'd hate it myself if I were forced to do something which I thought the other party wanted, and I wouldn't want to wish that on anyone I consider significant to me. But... sometimes when there's a struggle, a part of me just wishes I could demand, and it's at the tip of my tongue sometimes. But I can't, and I don't think I will, because the decision to change has to come from within that other party. I don't want to be the one who stands in the way of people's dreams, just because it satisfied what I wanted. I think everyone has a right to their own priorities and dreams, and I will not stand in that way. It's just not a good thing to do.
Haha, am I making sense?
Monday, September 03, 2007
What a Slacker
I've gotta get my life back in order. Been slacking too much. I must find Discipline!!
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