so sian.. back from a bout of giddiness which had something to do with liquid in my middle ear, making my ears ring and affecting my sense of balance... oh man.. i can't even begin to tell u how HORRIBLE it was... it was like being seasick, only this time, i was unable to keep anything inside my stomach. anthing that went in came back.. i was so hungry! and everytime i turned, the world turned along with me. argh! do u know wat tt meant? tt meant giving up watching Harry Potter 3: The Prisoner of Azkaban. we had booked the tickets somemore!!! then i just had to give up my tickets to yi lun's friend. ARGH!!

come to think of it, it's quite funny... one day i woke up feeling fine and dandy, the next dyai woke up feeling like my world was upside down. goodness! it's like tt A*teens song, Upside Down- "Upside Down, bouncing on the ceiling, inside out, stranger to this feeling". tt feeling was a stranger all right...
-_-"

thank god after a jab my world righted itself, and now i'm OK!!!! YAY! and i finally can catch up on my work. coz of this bout of dizziness i almost couldn make it for the SATs, and i missed quite a lot of catching up with my work. Thanks alot to grace for helping me to collect my work! u're a saviour man! =)

anyway, i'm just so thankful that my world is back where it belongs now, tt i feel quite energetic! hahaa.... i'm serious u know... for the first time, i didn sleep in the afternoon... how great is tt? =) hehe... anyway, i gtg already... bye!

SO SIAN!!!! i dun feel like going upstairs to help 'supervise' the workers, coz i can't concentrate on my work upstairs!! nooooooooooo, it's not because of the workers, darlings, it's gotta do with the fengshui or something... haha! =)in case u are wondering, nope, there's no eye-candy upstairs ;)

the whole day, i've been trying to do the gp compre mrs tan gave us, and i STILL haven finished... goodness -_-" hah, jus hope i get to finish a satisfactory amt of work by this wk, otherwise i'm gonna scream....

just realised tt i'm gonna have to cut off contact from cyberspace from sept hols onwards, so tt i will be devoid of temptations... hahaha, this is a repression of my spirit, which is channelled into studying for the IMPORTANT (-_-") exams. hopefully, this repression won't rear its ugly head in grotesque forms, like in the form of, say, violence? hahaa.. ok, i'm lame... forget it.... i'm just tokking rubbish to prolong my stay downstairs, so tt i dun have to go up... feel so out of place there... i'm alone! so boring somemore! hai...

anyway, ther's no putting off the inevitable... gtg, cya'll! =)

tml is GP common test!! ARGH!!! pushed reading thru the materials to now, and i seriously regret it, though i have this nasty suspicion tt i'm gonna repeat the same thing for prelims and As... horrible thought... *shudders*

it's only now tt i realise how much material i didn't read last yr, and man, i think i better constantly read newspapers, though i dunno when i can find time... i know... i'm probably sounding like a busy freak, but i'm serious! i dunno how come i dun have time to read newspapers while everyone around me can. can someone PLEASE tell me?! I'M DESPERATE!!!!

it's ironic, u know, that i find tt i think i can acty do better when i dun read the notes.. they kinda restrict me, but like a typical singaporean, i still feel insecure when i dun read them. argh... haha... it's like the same for the chinese As, when it's like, u know tt it's useless to read thru e chinese words booklet, coz the probability of the words coming out from there is so slim, but u still think u should, in case it does come out. there is tt false sense of security as well... like it works.
-_-" tt's only temporary, i tell u... haha... when u read the question paper, u think, "what the hell did i even waste time reading tt booklet for?!" haha.... oh well, i guess we all need a little security when studying for exams, dun we?

anyway, i gtg liao...
ahaha..... wish me luck for tml! =)

Ahhhhhhhhhh.... holidays are finally here, after 10 weeks!! after sat, i will be FREE!! well, not free exactly, but at least i will be able to wake up later than usual, and HOPEFULLY catch up with my work. haha, goodness knows i'm so far behind in my work.. mrs loh is beginning to get a bad impression of me liao, better buck up...

well, today we had to draw diagrams for econ, and i drew 2 extra diagrams which are totally redundant in the question!! argh! but my argument was somewhat on the right track, just tt mine was the last transparency she put up, so she assumed everything else was just like the previous person's (well, our diagrams were the same... haha.. ) and did not look at my argument... sigh... haha...

nvm... will make my comeback next term, where i will make sure she changes her mind bout me... haha, that is, hopefully, of course, so wish me luck! =) i just hope i do manage to complete my revision in time... =)

hai... not looking forward to the Rossetti essay i'm gonna have to do tonight... it's another troublesom essay! but then again, when have essays never been troublesome? i just have to get it done asap, then i will be able to enjoy tv in peace!!! yay!!!

i just wonder who's gonna win the American Idol tonight. while Fantasia is a great singer, her fan base isnt really as big as Diana's, i think. Diana is cute, but she cannot really sing. well, she can, but last night's performance was not really good. her song last week, "Don't Cry Out Loud", was sensational, but when she sang it last night, it was disappointing. her voice broke a few times due to nerves i think... hmm... it isn easy to be an idol.. u have to please everyone... *looks pensive* i dun really know who i want to win either, coz i like them equally, haha...

i wanna watch so many movies!! was supposed to watch Shrek 2 with yi lun tml, but she has the soccer finals tml.. hai... troy looks good, van helsing too, and of course, can't wait to watch harry potter!!!!!haha... just hope i have enough money to watch them, or is anyone gonna treat me? *bats eyelashes*

Haha... i'm feeling quite smug at the moment, coz i've just completed the most horrible of all essays- the A&C essay!! yay!! haha... i wasnt looking forward to doing it AT ALL, firstly coz i have absolutely ZERO confidence in doing well for it (which reduces my enthusiasm by a significant amount), and secondly coz it's a loooong essay with many aspects. come on! the question was asking for so many things! the question was 'Examine the exact nature of Cleopatra’s “infinite variety”. Is she a great queen or merely a “triple-turned whore”?'. If i really get this kind of question for the A levels, i'm seriously just gonna slam the paper on the table and start bawling... haha... am i making u cringe at tt thought? hehe, it's food for thought, though, coz it just occurred to me how much reading up i have to do just for lit alone, and add to tt math and econ also need an equal amount of attention. OH MAN!!!! HOW DO I LIVE?! to make things worse, while doing the essay just now and planning the Rossetti essay (also another headache one)last night, i realised how much i dunno my texts, especially for Rossetti. argh... i think i should seriously listen to Reynolds, and start reading one Rossetti essay a day... haha...

anyway, just came online to voice all these out, and i thnk i feel SLIGHTLY better... haha, jus tt there's still a mountain of work left... 4 essay outlines for GP to do, a DR for econ, and math assignment!!!! ARGH!!! HELP!!!

i miss peke, but i think i've got over the sadness... it's just that whenever i think about his last moments, tears just come into my eyes and i will feel like crying. perhaps it seems like i am over-reacting, but well, all i can say is, watever. i dun really expect others to understand (hmm... no offenses intended), coz this is like something one has to experience to feel the real pain. imagining it is usually not enough, not unless u acty have a great imagination....

anyway, i just realised tt the reason y my proposal for cip at the library hasn been approved yet. the tr in charge nvre even received the modified proposal! oh man! i just hope the letter from nlb to the school was received and kept properly, otherwise i'll just sit down on the floor in the middle of the foyer in school and bawl my eyes out!!! coz tt would mean that i have to make another 2 or more trips down to the library to find e person in charge and get her to write a letter again and THEN go down and collect it again. and from the timetable, when can i do tt?!

argh... just sounding so pitiful now... haha... indulge me... =)

anyway, THANKS to ALVIN my cousin!!! THANK U THANK U THANK U!! haha... without his help, i think i'd still not be able to modify the stupid thing...

ARGH!! u know wat?! just as i was thanking alvin and going over the moon with the fact tt i am finally able to modify the proposal, there was a BROWSER ERROR. can u believe my luck?! to do all these and have tt?!

WATEVER.

feel like gg to mrs yoong again tml and telling her bout it again. argh. i wanna get this thing done and over with! my cip hours are still at 11.5 hours, and it's getting kinda too late to start signing up for cips to boost my hours.....

God Must Have Spent a Little More Time on You

Yeah....
Oh yes
Ohhh..yeah..
Can this be true?
Tell me, can this be real?
How can I put into words what I feel?
My life was complete
I thought I was whole
Why do I feel like I'm losing control?
I never thought that love could feel like this
and you've changed my world with just one kiss.
How can it be that right here with me
there's an angel?
It's a miracle...


Your love is like a river
Peaceful and deep
Your soul is like a secret
That I never could keep
When I look into your eyes
I know that it's true
God must have spent...
A little more time
On you...
(A little more time, yes he did baby)


In all of creation
All things great and small
You are the one that surpasses them all
More precious than
Any diamond or pearl
They broke the mold
When you came in this world
And I'm trying hard to figure out
Just how I ever did without
The warmth of your smile
The heart of a child
That's deep inside
Leaves me purified

Your love is like a river
Peaceful and deep (and deep)
Your soul is like a secret
That I never could keep
When I look into your eyes
I know that it's true
God must of spent...
A little more time
On you...
(on you, on you, on you, you....on you, on you, on you, you..) ohhh...
(on you, on you, on you, you....on you, on you, on you, you..) yeah...

Never thought that love could feel like this
and you changed my world with just one kiss.
How can it be that right here with me
There's an angel?
It's a miracle...

Your love is like a river
Peaceful and deep (peaceful and deep)
Your soul is like a secret
That I never could keep
When I look into your eyes
I know that it's true
God must of spent...
A little more time
On you...
(on you, on you, on you, you..)
God must of spent...
A little more time
on you
(on you, on you..you....you..oooh..yeah)
A little more time
on you...ohhh


thank you, peke

been thinking of peke the whole day today. i was just thinking bout all the things he did, the silly antics he always came up with, and how he always managed to charm all of us into sneaking food to him.

i remember the time when i dropped a cube of ice on the kitchen floor. being the greedy dog he was, he rushed towards it, trying to get it into his mouth. alas! it was too cold and slippery, and it came out of his mouth again. he tried again and again, at different angles, but to no avail. it seemed like he was developing strategies to get the ice cube, coz he kept trying to catch it 'off-guard'.

i remember how he always looked when we brought him downstairs for his walks. he was always so excited, rushing around us like trying to make us go faster, the bliss on his face as he relieved himself, and the way he looked like a little furry ball jumping among the tall grass.

i remember how he always went into hiding under the table whenever he committed a 'crime'. he would hide under and refuse to come out. papa used to use food to tempt him to come out so tt he could teach him a lesson, and it worked a few times, until one day, it didn work anymore. how we all laughed to see that! peke was really very smart. he learnt things fast. he tried to escape punishments, but somehow, he always nvr escaped. it's so sad. but he had a forgiving nature. though papa always whacked him, he nvr stopped trying to get close to him.

now, i look at all the markings on the marble floor in my house, and i remember how he vomitted on them. they are the marks left behind by him.

we used to scold him for committing ' crimes', but we nvr ever meant it. they were all said and done, and things were forgotten the next moment. isn this like family? we may quarrel and fight, but at the end of the day, our ties still hold us together. this is the same for peke. he's family.

peke died just now.

no. he didn die. he passed away. there is a difference btw dying and passing away. dying sounds undignified and dying without any loved ones and not peacefully. passing away sounds nicer, and more peaceful. at least, we hope it was peaceful.

he died of kidney failure. it was at the last stage, and all i wanna do is to kick myself for not stroking him more, for not paying more attention to him, for not taking photos or videos with him. u see, i assumed. i assumed he was gonna stay for a long long time. i thot he would nvr die. u see, i made an ass out of u and me.

he lost a lot of weight. drastically. we all thot it was just fussiness on his part. he wasnt active. we thot he was just being proud. we were wrong. he was sick. he started vomitting blood, and we all thot it was just temporary. how wrong we were.

i know it's too late to blame anyone, but i think it's pedigree's fault. u know why? the plant in thailand was found to have mould on the food. and the vet immediately asked my sis if she had heard about the pedigree case.

anyway, it's too late. we must learn from our lesson.

peke was losing temperature and weight fast. his liver was gg down, and his kidneys were spoiled. i just wish we could have brought him to the vet more regularly. see! this just shows we can't take the people around us for granted. yes, i treat peke as a human. he has human characteristics. just tt he can't tok. so wat? he's much more sensible and generous than we can ever imagine. he was there when i needed a shoukder to cry on, he was there when i had problems, he has been there for me thru these 8 yrs. but i think the one who should feel the saddest is evon.

she did the most for him. she cared for him when he was sick. she prepared food for him when food ran out. she bathed him when he became smelly. she was like his mother, more than any of us. i think, peke trusted her the most, and tt he knew she already did her best by him. she was the one who was unselfish enough to persuade papa to go to the vet. she knew it was time to let him go.

i was selfish. i hid behind a wall of self-delusion, thinking tt as long as peke wasnt sent to the vet, he would be ok. i wanted him alive because i didn want to be sad. evon wanted him to pass on simply because she loved him.

"If you love someone, set him free". that's wat she did. it's the hardest thing anyone can do, to let go of a loved one just so he/she will be better off. i admire that. though she's younger than me, i do have to learn tt from her.

evon, i'm proud of u.

peke, always remember that u are the best friend and brother anyone could have. i hope u will be happy wherever u are, away from ur pain already, and that always remember that we will love u and remember u. be happy.

haha... went for the sea carnival heats today. it was quite fun acty, with like bout 1/3 of our class taking part... haha... we took part in the dragonboating, together with A05. though we lost, it was a good experience, and good training for my left arm, which has been lying dormant. hee...=)quite fun too, acty.. ;)

hehe, we saw yummy in yummy clothes! heh, jun and hurul didn believe how yummy yummy was until they saw him like tt. heh,they were like, "whoa, yummy is really yummy". haha... he can join manhunt u know, got the physique, and i hear the character as well. haha... =)

there was one thing though. i feel rather bad bout the relay thing. u see, i knew we had to paddle to the shore, but when we reached the orange balls, i saw ppl like turning lidat, so i turned. it didn occur to me tt they were just probably losing control of the boat. DAMN! then we were disqualified. my teammates (grace, hurul, jas, jun, and jiun pey) weren't upset with me, but i still feel tt i let them down. can u imagine?! first person to do the relay and b4 anyone else could get the chance to kayak, i spoilt it for them. argh. anyway, they said dun think bout it, but i gotta get it out of my chest. after this, chapter closed. dun be a follower anymore. argh. look where tt got me.

but there's safety in numbers, u know? like when there are many ppl doing something, u somehow feel as if u are doing e right thing, and u are not as scared to do it anymore? yep, tt prob explains y i'm often more of a follower than a leader. trying to develop more character for myself, though i think it's quite hard. the hardest thing anyone can do is to change one's natural instincts and character.

wat am i doing here? hai... i should be reading thru the econ, but i dun seem to have anymore energy. haha... i just wanna sleep! should i watch american idol? they are now down to the top 4. personally, i think jasmine trias should have been out long ago, instead of geroge huff. just coz of one performance, the contestants get kicked out? tt happened with jennifer hudson. u can't say she hasn got talent. look at the uproar her elimination caused! fantasia even said, "you are MY American Idol!!" ah well, i guess it's fate. some things just cant be forced. jus like i have to face the fact tt i have to go read econ now. argh.

the price of rationality.

insanity.

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! i can't stand it anymore!!! hate hate hate hate doing homework!!!!!stupid stupid!!!! i'm soooo friggin sleepy now!!!!!!!! but if i dun do these stupid stories, i'm gonna have to rush thru them tml, and there's econ case studies!! there's so much to read thru and she wants it done by thurs?! wat madness is tt? is there even like 48 hours in a day?! if there is SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME, cos i'm DYING here!!!! but anyway, even if there was, most of the time would AGAIN be taken over by hw. wats so damn new?! school would take up like 12 hrs, bout 1/4 of our friggin time. argh!!!!! i need to revise my maths!!!!! it's so cock up now lor....

heh... i sound like i'm on the verge of throwing everything around eh? well, i cant though, coz everything's so heavy, and i'm still too rational to do tt. i think tt;s wat i am. too rational. tt's y i seem to have such control over my behaviour. but sometimes it just gets so hard to hold on to tt rationality, i just wanna snap. on the other hand, my rationality would step in and tell me tt if i do tt, the consequences are gonna be ugly, so i dun do it. ironic, isn it? one moment i'm gonna snap, and the next my rationality takes over. i dun really know wat i am... so full of contradictions... haha...

it's not tt i had a bad day today.. serious! in fact, other than the weather, my day has been fine. napfa went according to wat i had planned- got a silver, which i started aiming for ever since my 2.4 got a D... and my sit and reach and shuttle run were better than i expected.... =) guess it was just some little spontaneous little burst of frustration just now, coupled with the wonderful little nagging conscience that i haven put in much effort for my SAT and GP, the subjects tt need my attention at the moment. WONDERFUL! just wat i need to spice my life up. a guilty conscience. over GP and SAT. after doing the GP quiz.

our lives are just so bloody intertwined around work, school, bloody scholarships and climbing up to the tallest ladders of our careers, only to act as baits for other ppl to pull down. is this wat life is? if so, i might as well go be a nun. argh.

we just went thru this poem in Lit today. i kinda like it, though i can't esactly put my finger as to why i like it. maybe coz the tone of it is so elusive? as in one can read it as a love poem , but in a way, it can read as a poem of defiance to the people of the poet's time. u see, this poem was written at a time when there was a rift btw the Protestants and the cavaliers. the Protestants believed in not having a monarchy, while the cavaliers supported the King. this guy, Richard Lovelace, was one such cavalier, and he got thrown into prison because he was singing the praises of the king. well... hope it's enough background for u to read it! =)

Song, to Althea, from Prison

When Love with unconfined wings
Hovers within my gates,
And my divine Althea brings
To whisper at the grates;
When I live tangled in her hair,
And fetter'd to her eye,
the gods that wanton in the air
Know no such liberty.

When flowing cups runs swiftly round
With no allaying Thames, Our careless heads with roses bound,
Our hearts with loyal flames;
When thirsty grief in wine we steep,
When healths and draughts go free,
Fishes that tipple in the deep
Know no such liberty.

When like committed linnets, I
With shrill throat shall sing
The sweetness, mercy, majesty
And glories of my king;
When I shall voice aloud how good
He is, how great should be;
Enlarged wings that curl the flood
Know no such liberty.

Stone walls do not a prison make,
Nor iron bars a cage;
Minds innocent and quiet take
That for a hermitage;
If i have freedom in my love,
And in my sould am free,
Angels alone that soar above
Enjoy such liberty.

Richard Lovelace, (1618-1657)

AFFIRMATION - Savage Garden:

I believe the sun should never set upon an argument,
I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands.
I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you,
I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do.
I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem,
I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone.

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned,
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned.
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side,
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye.

I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality,
I believe that trust is more important than monogamy.
I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul,
I believe that family is worth more than money or gold.
I believe the struggle for financial freedom is unfair,
I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires.

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned,
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned.
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side,
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye.

I believe forgiveness is the key to your unhappiness,
I believe that wedded bliss negates the need to be undressed.
I believe that God does not endorse TV evangelists,
I believe in love surviving death into eternity.

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned,
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned.
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side,
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye.

Oh. My. God. just went to watch Passion of the Christ just now with Xinyi. been wanting to watch tt movie for a loooong time, and had a hard time persuading my parents to let me go.... oooh, it blew me away! contrary to wat xinyi thinks about it (DUN believe wat she says. hers is a biased account, because she is scared of gore... hee... )

it was full of blood and violence, yes, but it was also touching. i'm seldom touched by all these, and i NEVER cry at cinemas, but this time, the scenes got to me. yep, i cried at the violence parts, coz it was just too painful. it was the same as watching it first-hand, u know? like u were a witness there. anyway, the violence tt Jesus went thru is simply unbearable for humans, and he showed great strength in going thru with all of it. do u know, they whipped him, not only with canes of different thickness, but also these rod-like things with tiny hooks chained onto them. when they are used to whack a person, these hooks will claw e victim's flesh. tt happened to Jesus, and there was an instant when the hooks got caught in his flesh. the guy just pulled it out mercilessly, and he was at an angle tt would PULL OUT the most flesh. OH MAN! just watching it made me cry. no, i didn just bawl my eyes out on the spot like SOMEBODY expected me to do... tears just rolled out... the soldiers were enjoying every single torturous minute of it. when blood splashed onto their faces, they laughed with satisfaction and happiness. should i say with a sort of orgasmic glee? i swear, it was like they were obtaining some sort opf pleasure (bordering on sexual) with all the shouts and satisfaction u could hear from them.

another time when i cried was when Jesus could not stand the weight of the corss anymore and fell down. his mother was nearby, and tt reminded her of a time during his childhood when he had fallen down and she had rushed to him in the same way she was rushing to him at that moment. only this time, there was no way she could cradle him in her arms and comfort him. this time, there is no consolation, only the fact tt Jesus knew wat he was doing was to clear the sins of the people. even then, when he said, "Look, Mama, I'm making them all new again" it was just so heart wrenching! there was this childlike innocence in that sentence alone, that hope that everything would be all right again, once he had goen thru his trials.

the heart-wrenching parts didn end there. there was another one when the soldiers were hammering the nails into Jesus. You could really hear the bones in Jesus' palms and ankle breaking, and the blood was spurting everywhere. one doesn have to acty experience it to know the pain. u just have to look. the worst thing was, the soldiers enjoyed it. you could see from the grins on their faces, the laughs they were having, and the sneers that were on their faces when they were nailing Jesus. one of them even deliberately pulled Jesus' arm towards a point tt was impossible to reach, and in the end, the arm was pulled out of its socket. tok about malice and sadism. they absolutely ENJOYED torturing. it was just so...... so pititful and... sad, the way Jesus was tortured by them...i know... sad is too general a term to describe this, but it's like, i can't seem to find any other words to describe this.

now i really understand y in Angela Carter's "Peter and the Wolf", Peter always lashed himself on Good Friday. it was to clear his sins and to experience the same kind of pain Jesus went thru, to remind himself of the ordeal god went thru to salvage the ppl.

however, while the movie let us feel the pain and humiliation Jesus went thru, there was not really much feeling of his love for his people, despite his repeated cries of anguish, telling God, his Father, "Father, forgive them! They do not know what they are doing!". although this was supposed to demonstrate God's benevolent and generous love, there was no feeling coming thru. in the aftermath of the movie, that is wat i realised about it. perhaps tt was y the movie did not get the full 5 stars from LIFE!.

despite the above criticism, i still feel this movie is worth watching, whether one is a Christian or not. i'm not a christian, but i enjoyed the movie. i found it v touching and... in a way, it reaches the hearts of viewers thru the violence and gore of the scenes.

oh my god!! i feel SOOOOOOOOOO guilty!!! i just kicked my dog in the eye!!! goodness.... there's already something wrong with his eye and i JUST had to kick it... but well... not say i want to say lar, but i just say lar, it's not really my fault lor.. the whole livning room and corridor was so dark, and he usually stays under the dining table, how would i know he was lying in the middle of the corridor? then again, i could have switched on the lights, couldn i? well.... soemthing was telling me to switch on the lights, but it was just PLAIN LAZINESS on my part... -_-" have u ever experienced something like this? like something telling u to do something, but u ignore it, but when tt thing really happens, u go," aiyah! i should have done this! something was telling me to do this!!!" well, yah, it ALWAYS happens to me, and i ALWAYS never learn from it, coz the feeling is so absurd. talk about having a sixth sense and not using it. -_-"

getting worried about peke though. he hasn been eating much, but he has been vomitting alot. some of his vomits are dark brown. my sis says he even vomitted blood once. oh man.... to add on to this, he still can afford to be fussy! we gave him meat mixed with rice, and he ONLY ATE THE MEAT, leaving behind the rice! if there's any fussier eater, it's peke. he's already skin and bones (and yah, fur), and yet he still chooses his food?! come on! we are trying to help him!! does he appreciate it? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *shakes head vehemently*

well, yah, tt's abt it... alot more things i'd love to blog here, but looking at the time........ it doesn't permit me to do so. still have to decipher Poe's 3 stories, and write a log abt them, and do their post tut for last wk. thank god less than one story was discussed... hehe... =)

hai... been trying to read the next 4 stories of angela carter (The Snow Child, Black Venus, The Kiss and The Cabinet of Edgar Allan Poe), and the end result is an increase in the degree of shortsighted-ness of my eyes. Goodness! these 4 are the worst stories i have seen so far in anela carter. not the worst, acty, but the most inaccessible. i have no idea wat she is talking about in the stories, so how am i gonna do the log for this?! worse still, NOBODY has any idea which group of stories we are doing tml- our group or fahmy, mastura, ida and diyah's group. -_-" this means tt instead of doing 4 stories, we have to prepare 8. GOODNESS!!!! while i agree that doing e 8 stories means i wun have to do log next wk, the thing is, this is TORTURE!!! i'm running dry of things to glean from the stories. well, not running dry exactly, but mentally exhausted. my brain feels like switching channels now to perhaps other things... haha...

anyway, i can't get stacie oricco's song I Promise out of my head... so i shall post the lyrics here... this song is so nice!! nope, i wun do an analysis or explanation of the song. haha....

I Promise – Stacie Oricco

Will I always be there for you?
When you need someone, Will I be that one you need?
Will I do all my best to, to protect you?
When the tears get near your eyes
Will I be the one that's by your side?
Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your light?
I promise, I promise
I promise I will

Will I take tender tender care of you?
Take your darkest night and make it bright for you
Will I be there to make you strong and to lean on?
When this world has turned so cold
Will I be the one that's there to hold?

Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your light?
I promise, I promise
I promise I will

Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your light?
I promise, I promise
I promise I will

Yeah
And I love you more every day
And nothing will take that love away
When you need someone
I promise I'll be there for you (there for you)
I promise

Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your light?
I promise, I promise
I promise I will

And I promise (and I promise)
I promise (oh I promise you)
I will be there when you call me (when you call me)
I promise (I promise)
I promise I will

Oh man!!! just read the forum from start to finish- u know, the one about sportsmen having no place in the college? goodness, there must be some kind of record in the amount of response it generated within 2 days! though ultimately the glenn episode blew away. i must say, those who apologised on the forum should be commended. it's not always easy to apologize in front of a large audience, whether in front of a REAL audience or a virtual one. personally, when i read glenn's first post, and the subsequent few ones, i was seriously shocked. there were no personal insults directed at anyone prior to his posts. there was no feeling of insults at the choir or the band. there was mainly just grievances. while i felt tt glenn's love for choir and his 'surroundings' are rather noble and worthy of commendation, i think his personal attacks were seriously uncalled for. giving derogatory names to sportspeople and the natural body fluids that come out after workouts ("sodium chloride") was not necessary in his "crusade" for his and choir's rights...

it was truly exciting to read those posts. i suggest u all go and read it before it is taken down. at least FINALLY there is something tt tpjcians care about, that we are not as bo chap as ppl think we are.

hehe, while reading all the posts, i acty wanted to post all these up, but thot, since the matter bout glenn is closed, y dig it up again? so my current views bout tt particular topic on the forum are rather out-dated. haha... =)

anyway, there was nothing aimed at band or choir ppl in this post. i was just... well... just expressing my views about the forum generally, nth bout e funding and stuff. think e choir and band have worked their *coughs delicately* asses of these past months, and hope their concert will be a great success on sun man... =)

been too tired to blog lately.. haha... wed and thurs are my worst days of the week, but the day i dun look forward to the most is tues, when there's triple period free break and then econ and double period math and pe... oooh... horror of horrors!! haha... sounds exaggerated i know, and perhaps it was lar. i have nothing against double period maths acty, but i do have something against the weather. hee... somehow, i think the usual classroom in which we have our double period maths lesson is v stifling. it's not like other classrooms where there's a feeling of spaciousness. in tt room, i feel suffocated and cramped in, and it subsequently gets me into an irritable mood. add tt to my irritation of being unable to catch up with the questions mrs neo is doing, tt's like making me feel worse. luckily jie ting managed to persuade mrs neo to book the aircon rooms, where it's not only cooling, but also spacious. =) thanx jie ting!

i'm so happy!!! i finally got ear phones!! it wasnt $9.90 as evon said, but it was $12.90. oh well, it's cheaper than the one i wanted to get initially anyway- $16, and it's so nice! though i did say i didn wan the one tt needs to be plugged into the ears, i found i couldn resist these ear phones. =) =) haha...

ah well... finally the weekend again!!! love fridays! it means i have the whole 2 days stretched out in front of me!! haha, jus tt i dun think this weekend will be v productive, besides the fact tt i'm gonna discuss the carter stories with chyau inn, jiun pey and tabbi tml. other than tt, my weekend is gonna be spent slacking!!! there's the concert on sunday, and i think i wun have e heart to study or do anything on sun... haha.... and the irritating thing is tt i dun have any bottoms to wear!! i'd meant to wear a skirt, but haven had time to buy it, so i guess i'll be wearing jeans....? or another pair of trousers which i HOPE i can fit into.... *crosses fingers* do u think the esplanade ppl will let me in with jeans? i reaaaaally hope so!!!

anyway, i gotta get back to reality already.. do my lit.... argh..

haha... I FOUND THE BOOK!!!!!!! well... not me lar, but my maid. not tt i haven been putting in an effort (LOTS of it!) to find it (i searched my room and my sister's room and my parents' room k... i even lifted up the beds!), but it jus didn wan to appear! i searched the place my maid said she had found it- in my movable trolley shelf in the living room; i even took out everything and shook out the files, but to no avail. she said she was just as surprised to finally see it there as well, as she had gone thru them before! oh my god... this thing ALWAYS happens to me! it's like when i was frantically looking for it, there was a veil over my eyes, preventing me from seeing it! argh!!! and i'm serious about going thru tt file where it was found! i even filed up the things inside!!! goodness... there's something going on.... *looks around cautiously*

oh! i found this cool post-it website! u just download it, and now there's a post-it pad on ur computer! for those whose comps are perpetually on 24/7, it's convenient! there are so many merits to it:
1. paper can be saved
2. money can be saved from buying the real post-its
3. the post-its come with alarms
4. u can change the fonts, font colour of ur notes
5. pictures can be inserted so tt u will like looking at wateva notes u have made for urselves!

of course, the only drawback i found with it is tt the alarm doesn't sound when the computer is switched off. not like handphones, where the alram still sounds even when they are switched off...

all in all, though, i love it! haha...

oh yah, here's a note: edison did not invent the telephone.... it was alexander graham bell! hehe... can't believe i've been living under this misconception for so many months! go on..... make fun of me.... haha... =)

diediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediediedie!!!!!!!!i have this NASTY feeling tt i have lost the Love Matters book!!! oh man!!!!!! i have gone thru my whole house, jus short of turning over the mattress in my parents' room....

ohhhhhhhhhhh...................... mrs neo is gonna be SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO mad!!! wat am i gonna do?!

anyone wants to start a fund for my funeral next week? arrange a grand one for me k?

argh! wait till i tell you bout my HORRIBLE trip to the doctor's yesterday. oh man! this is the ABSOLUTE WORST doctor i've EVER seen!!!

first of all, he laughed at me when i said i have a "prolonged sore throat". is there anything funny about tt? from tt time onwards, he treated me as some moronic imbecile who couldn do ANYTHING, and that i was jus there for an MC, which i wasn. which person in their right mind would travel all the way to katong just to spend $40 freaking dollars on a one day MC?! if i had wanted an MC, i could have juz gone to bedok polyclinic today. DUH!

next, he said he couldn see nor feel anything from my throat. which meant, he thot he was calling my bluff (which he wasn, btw). then, when my father and i kept insisting tt i had sore throat, he told me to go for a urine test to see if i had dengue. he JUST had to say "but u look too healthy to have dengue". OH FOR GOD'S SAKE! DUN I KNOW TT FACT?! anyway, i jus went. by tt time, i was soooooo fed up with him, i couldn care a whit wat opinion he had of me. i jus couldn be bothered to be polite anymore.

he said there was nothing wrong with my urine-which, i might add, was a stupid and redundant statement, coz i know it myself. dun i know e symptoms of dengue? -_-" finally he said in this condescending tone, "So u wan and MC not?" i flatly told him no, but tt i would need an MC from PE next week, jus in case i am not able to recover in time to do PE. He immediately laughed in tt sickening way of his and said, "Why do u need an MC form PE? Wat do u do for PE?" i said we did running, and i had asthma. he said, " u dun like running is it?" when e thing is, i dun have anything against running, though i know i always grumble about it. i said, " no, i dun have anything aghainst running, but i have asthma, so i dunno if i would be in a condition to run or do anything strenous next week." he asked wat medicine i take for asthma, and i told him the usual medicine: Ventolin Inhaler. he immediately looked a t me like i was crazy and said, " Ventolin inhaler?! you must be out of your mind to still use ventolin! vebtolin is rubbish, it's archaic!"

oh well, pardon me for even saying it! doesn like everyone who has asthma use ventolin inhaler?!

he then went on to praise this new asthmatic drug, and continued demeaning ventolin. oh! i got the message all right, and so did my father. anyway, my father asked for the price of the medicine, and he said,"$110". well, my father couldn hear it coz the oh-so-great-holier than thou doctor was mumbling into his paper. when he repeated it again, he JUST had to add in the next satement,"why? cannot afford it ah?" WHAT IS HIS FRIGGING PROBLEM?! couldn he jus have shut his big mouth and gone on to do his own job?

oh, and may i add tt he does not dress in any way like a doctor? he looks like some styupid quack who trained in some rural area of the world and came to work in singapore. he was dressed in this oversized button down shirt and a pair of hipster pants the tailor-made kinda style. this ensemble, on him, looks like he goes to the Salvation Army to get his clothes, and they only had them in 2 sizes too big for him. to make matters worse, he was wearing socks with, get this, slippers. all in all, he looked like he was gonna have a slumber party at the clinic. oh, and he's not in his twenties. he's in his fifties.

i guess i might sound cruel, but i dun feel like being kind to this kind of jerk who's so holier than thou. ARGH!

there's something tt bugs me though. wat if there's nothing wrong with me in actual fact? mebbe all this is just part of my imagination?! oh my god. does this mean i'm a schizophrenic? or having some kind of psychological problem where i imagine i actually have a sickness when i dun have?!

i must admit, albeit grudgingly, tt i have since begun to show some signs of recovery after yesterday. for starters, my sore throat is almost gone now, and my cough, thanks (but i wish was a no thanks) to his great recommendation *rolls eyes*. let's hope tt this great doctor has some redeeming qualities.

might i add tt i will be incredibly reluctant to go to this same clinic EVER AGAIN?

oh! it's the Good Friday Resolution. paiseh... hahah...

hehe... so far, i have kept to my good friday resolution (or was it the tues resolution? anyway, it's the weekend hw thing), and it's such a good feeling to begin the week knowing i have completed the hw needed for the rest of the week.

well... i jus have this little exception to make: Lit. oh yes... tt is time consuming.. i managed to finish my pre tutorial notes for A&C, but the post is still sadly waaaaaaay behind. oh gosh. and now (oops, grammatical error) congratulations!!!!! i have angela carter log to do, and i have this nasty feeling tt poe is due by thurs as well.

oh man! i guess i should have made one little clause in my resolution, saying tt all hw except lit log bks have to be done by the weekend. however, i should take e responsibility i guess. i usually jus scribble down the post tut notes in pencil, so tt it all accumulates and i have to change it all to pen at one shot. welll...... can't really say anything in my defense i guess, coz it's e same reason: i usually dun have time to immediately change them to pen tt same night. i usually have other things tt demand my attention. and log books... well, they can afford to wait, coz they aren't usually collected... hehe.... lazy me...

so wat am i doing here now? let me give u another lame excuse. i'm waiting for my liquid paper to dry. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!! shocked? well yah. tt's my typical excuse to go skive off somewhere when my heart's not in my work.

i wanna sleep!!!!! jus now come home i was watching my sis exhibiting her class tee, which is quite cool btw- it's a black hooded shirt (custom-made) with a heartbeat design across the chest, and the slogan "simplicity=style" below it. behind is the class: FLOUR. yep, it's 4L, but e class was sick of calling themselves "four elle" as all their seniors have done, so they decided to go with "FLOUR". v unprecedented, eh?- well, it was rather cool, if i do say so myself. oh, the words "FLOUR" are white and horizontally across the back, and the heartbeat is made up of two lines, one yellow one orange. the words "simplicity=style" are orange. cool rite? i would put a pic up, but i have to figure out how to do it first... haha... oh yah, dun ask me to analyse the meaning of the heartbeat for u, it's a long story... haha... anyway, guess it's quite obvious to guess, rite? all the members of the class share one heartbeat= unity!!!!!! haha...

ok, better get off... my father is walking in the living room, wanting to switch on the tv. if he notices i'm still at the comp, he's bound to nag again. hahha... so....
TATA!!!!

oh btw alvin, not tt i dao ur sms ah... i was making good on my new resolution of keeping myself in tune with the current affairs... u know, bonding.... feel the peace................................................. oh. and terror.

;)

thanx for ur concern ppl! =) body ache's gone, but e throat is doing a good job of replacing e aching joints and body.. -_-" and headache too... argh... hehe, perhaps i sound a tad self-pitying here... well....... I AM!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH.... humour e invalid will u? ;)

i mus say though, e two days' absence from school was rather nice... though i DID NOT DO A SINGLE CONSTRUCTIVE THING WITH MY LIFE... jus slept and read storybooks and slept again... hehe... sadly, didn get weight... perhaps a little tummy? hee.. not telling.... =) anyway, dun get e wrong idea. the storybooks are not even my lit texts, though my conscience kept pricking me. i doubt those books i read would even be counted as classics, now or in the future. let's leave it tt i like to read mindless supermarket romance novels... hehe... =) well... they dun require much thinking... haha....

yesterday, mr reynolds' lecture got to me i think. seriously. i began seriously thinking and worrying bout gp already. i'll admit, i was kinda complacent b4, but still a little worried. i was procrastinating. however, after his lecture yesterday, i realised e A i wan for gp will NOT come my way unless i start working for it. HARD. well... let's make this my fri resolution: keep myself up to date with current affairs. well, i guess this is one reason y i dun do spectacularly well in my AQ. i have NO VIEWS. well. this ought to wake me up.

well... it better, coz i have this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach tt A levels will be tough. and they are coming very soon. yep, coming to the schools near u. stay tuned. k.. tt was lame, but my point is, As are coming soon... so i better buck up... and so do all of u!!! =) anyway, if i wanna make good on all my resolutions, i better shut up now and go act on it. good bye!

SUCKS. JUST had to fall sick overnight, didn i? this is worse than other flus i've ever gotten... seldom got a fever when i have flu, but this time was 38.2 deg...body aching, joints aching, sore throat so sickening tt when i swallow, pain shoots to the back of my head. doesn help to know tt my neck is painful and i've got a groggy head. i jus wonder if i should go to school tml or not. one thing tt sticks out like a bloody sore thumb in my schedule tml is tt briefing for college day. if i didn have to go for tt, to hell with sch tml. i'm still being separated in half- one half in this universe, the other in some groggy and thick as glue atmosphere. am i making sense? hope so. one thing i'm not sure bout though. if i dun go to sch tml, do e trs expect ANOTHER MC from me? goodness, i dun have so much money and time to go see doc again u know... the trip there today made me so tired...

speaking of tiredness, i've been sleeping the day away, so... nope, didn manage to complete a&c log or catch up with vectors or do any life-changing activities. jus slept.... and slept... and slept.....

which reminds me... i missed the heats for 100m today.... tt wasn on purpose... acty, there's half of me tt wants to go, but another half is scared of embarrassing myself... hehe... tt's self-conscious me... but partly, it's coz i can't let go of the past. i guess the two parts of me regarding my feelings bout joining e 100m is because of the past. i took part in the same race 5 yrs ago (yah, a bit long i know... ), and i took part in the heats. only, jus when i was gonna take the lead, i fell. and it was in front of like, a quarter of the school. tt's not e bad part- well, not the worst, anyway- i was bleeding like crazy, and the wounds didn heal properly. i still have scars on my legs and elbows. didn like e pus tt came out of them a few days later too.. eeew... for the next few months, everytime i closed my eyes, i could picture myself falling down on the track, in different scenarios. for the years after, whenever i race on the track (the 12x100 and my sec sch's 20x100), i am always scared hist will repeat itself. now u know why i always say i'm scared whenever i run in races?

so this race was to sort of rewrite hist again, make up for what happened then. guess it's fate tt i didn go after all. well, things happen for a reason, dun they?

ah well... feel better after venting my thots here.. haha, mebbe i'll go rest my poor poor bones now... hopefully i'll go back to sch tml... but i feel soooooooooooooo tired!!! nope, more of exhausted i guess... *shrugs* same lar... yep, so see u all if i see u tml!
=)

hehe... got a pleasant surprise jus now when i visited my blog! there are messages!!! haha... lurve reading msgs. well, i should add, i LURVE reading any kind of msgs. particularly letters and loooooong email letters. hehe... so, feel free to email or write to me anytime u feel like it k? i'll reply!!!! haha...

xue fang jus reminded me of a VERY unpleasant fact: MATHS!!!! oh man...been living in a world of econ and lit so long, i've like neglected my math... oh well, hope tt is gonna be rectified soon, since training has been cut down to once a week.... but i still have to make sure tt i dun waste my time or escape to the cyberworld. ahem *coughs delicately* ... like now. *blush*

anyway, i think i better go already. hurul jus taught me how to put music on my blog, and i'm quite eager to try it out. therefore, i shall end now and try to put music inside... wish me luck!!! =)

juz trying....

You Are a Plain Ole Cup of Joe But don't think plain - instead think, uncomplicated You're a low maintenance kind of girl... who can hang with the guys Down to earth, easy going, and fun! Yup, that's you: the friend everyone invites. And your dependable too. Both for a laugh and a sympathetic ear. What Kind Of Coffee Are You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

haha... can't resist taking quizzes, they are so fun! =) leave any comments u have on my chatterbox, k? =)

You are Barefoot! You're a total free spirit, go with the flow girl You can't be restricted by shoes for very long And unsuprisingly, the same goes for men Your match is out there - and he's as carefree as you are What Shoe Are You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

hihi... heh, am escaping reality right now by losing myself in the world of blogging... i'm SO not looking forward to starting my hw... mebbe tt's y i'm so backward in all my econ hw. i'm now like doing it one day at a time, and i must tell u, this kind of pace is v terrible. i should seriously just finish all my hw during the weekends so i can have more breathing space during weekdays and have more time to do other things during the free periods. yeah, right. like i'm gonna have enough willpower to do tt. well, juz like my tues resolution last month, i'm going to try to make this a Good Friday resolution: to finish all my hw by weekends. esp A&C. oh man, i can't tell u enough about the horrible stress i always get on weds... hehe....

A&C is fun, but draining. Shakespeare is kinda cool acty. who else can make so many insinuations using hunting metaphors and the usage of other kinds of comparisons to put forth his point? tt's y i think literary people are v smart ppl. dun ever say only scientists are the truly brainy ppl. writers and other ppl who belong in the arts world are brainy too, u know, juz tt it's presented in a different way. eccentric, mebbe, but brainy all the same. just look at their play with words. oh man! to have such ability!

to tell u e truth, i'm kinda sick of looking at lit and econ already. those are the 2 subj i face like, EVERYDAY!!! oh well, guess i can't compare myself to the hist students, who have to MAKE HIST THEIR LIFE, but i guess everyone has their own probs. We can't say the Sci ppl have it any easier juz coz they write fewer essays than us or their work is jus less subjective than ours. guess they oso have their own probs in tackling the sciences. hehe...

ok, gotta wake up from self-denial mode. have to call grace at 1130 to discuss the econ allocation of qns, so i better try to get some work done first... hehe... sorry for the late allocation ppl!!!!

HOMEWORK, HERE I COME!!!! =D

WE WON TODAY!!!! haha... the score was 2-0... and well, though we are not in the next round, at least we aren't the loser of the group... =) we almost had to play the third set (which everyone was NOT looking forward to), and the last set ended with 25-22 i think... guess the score shouldn have been lidat, but well, guess we were still overwhelmed by the fact tt we had won the first set... =)

the guys won rjc as well... 2-1, which i guess everyone will admit, was a surprise. the guys were already planning to anyhow play the game, and get yellow and red cards, coz they felt the game was a lost cause and they had nvr gotten any of those coloured cards in their vb careers anyway... haha... the ironic thing was tt, tpjc didn gewt awarded a yellow card, but rjc did, coz zhang yuan called for a timeout when he wasn't supposed to (coz he's not the coach)... oh well... juz glad tt we won... =)

hehe... so embarrassing jus now... almost went up to some rj guy and said hello to him... hahaha!!! coz he looked like my pri sch friend from where i was during the match mah, and i thot of gg over to say hi. luckily i didn, coz it was e wrong person... hehe... realised tt they have the same features FROM FAR, but nearer, tt guy looked like a nerd.. .hee.... can u imagine how embarrassing it would have been?! eew!!!!!!

hee... guess everyone can tell i'm in a good mood now eh? hehe... tml is good fri, so NO NEED TO GO TO SCHOOL!!!!!!!!! added to today's victory... haha.... i'm not only on cloud nine, i'm in HEAVEN!!!! haha...

a little dark cloud though... jus registered for SAT today, and now i have to face the fact tt i have to put in more effort to study for this this time!! otherwise $81.90 will be wasted. again. tt means more intensive studying for SAT words and (god knows how to revise it) maths... OK!!! i admit i juz glanced thru the words last yr.... hehe... deserve it i guess...juz hope i can make improvements this yr... aaah!!!!

juz remembered i had one philosophical thing to say... but, i forgot...
how wonderful. -_____-"

nope... dun suppose it did... lemme try on my template.... cross ur fingers!!!

hehe... juz trying out something hurul taught me... dunno whether it can appear here in the entries or not... wait....

http://delivery.gettyimages.com/comp/ngs4_3018.jpg?

hehe... got rid of my prev tagboard yesterday.. giving me so many problems.. now changed to this chatterbox.. hope it'll be better! =) this chatterbox website is quite nice... there are puzzles tt can be put on my blog.. but when i tried putting it in, it turned out tt e puzzles were e main focus of the blog, not my entries... hai... =)

ain't this blogskin cute? it was done by some ex-beatty sec sch girl oso called yiling.. .coincidental rite? so if u see e credits at the botton "Done by Yiling of Animeskies", it's not me.... it's this girl... again coincidentally, she's also a vballer... haha... how much freakier can this get? =)

acty, i've got like nothing to update u all on lar.. haha... juz felt like typing something in here... to push further back the fact tt i have to go do my hw... i'm BUSHED... haha... jus feel like closing my eyes and slipping into oblivion, but well, tt's not possible is it? though the empress of dreamland (i call her the sui4 niang2 niang2) would be happy to see me (and the feeling is mutual), the teachers wun be too happy with me tml... hahahahahhaah....

oh well, i can't live in self-denial mode any longer. gotta face up to reality now, so.... bye!

yesterday was the second match of the tournament for us... we lost again-
2-0. though it was somewhat expected to lose to NYJC, somehow, it hurt. i know... i probably brought this upon the whole team by not setting well AGAIN. i do wondre though, when i am gonna realise that i should be setting higher balls and ALWAYS setting, and not hooking the ball to the other side? guess my team mates are already frustrated with me for that, and i must say, i can;t really blame them. apologies are too late, and as they say, "Sorry no cure", what's done cannot be undone. i should realise the futility of words in this case, but somehow, i can't help but apologize for all these. it's e best i can do.

however, i know some of u must be thinking. " why can't u just learn from ur mistakes and try not to repeat them in the next match?" well.... when i go on court, i forget alot of things... sounds lame i know, but in the heat of the moment, i always do things on impulse. i get scared. tt makes me indecisive. u can say i'm afraid to take risks. why the hell do u think i've only had one relationship so far?

ah well.. this is all sounding so depressing, like all my previous few entries. let's all hope the mood will change the next time i blog here? =)

jus call me a loser... we lost the match 2-1 today... we could have won the second set.. the score was 25-24, and we were leading... then we missed the ball, and thus had to go for another 2 pt lead. we lost thsoe as well.

i lost confidence too easily lor... coz of a few mistakes then i got so down... well, u can say i'm weak, coz it's true. i did try to forget bout it, but the fear was still there, u know?

one other thing: i didn set properly AGAIN. esp for the ball for the centre. ALWAYS gave the ball too much ot the left. HOW MANY FREAKING TIMES MUS I BE TOLD TT THE SPIKERS ARE RIGHT HANDED?!?!?!

i'm still feeling rather bummed bout the match, mainly coz i know i let the team down. if i had set properly, we might have been able to gain points in the spikings, and i would be cheering right now. now, it doesn even matter if we win MI, coz we are out...

min ley was quite pissed with me i guess... she kept telling me the ball was too much to mel's left, and though i knew, i jus couldn control the ball. dun ask me y. i'm jus lousy. i dun blame her or anyone who got pissed off with me lar... it's like, their right lor... hmm... i can't find the right expression, but u can catch my meaning lar.... made alot of wrong judgments too... is this because of my indecisive nature?

i just hope fri's match wun be a thrashing match man.......

hihi... in response to Alvin's comments, nope, i'm not breaking down... haha... juz felt like complaining... oh well, lurve it... *evil laughter*

anyway, today was quite a good day... but it started with sucky gp... normally gp is fun.. only when we have compre which i KNOW i will fail. i didn finish the last question, and i didn complete 2 questions... tt's already like 12 marks gone... oh man.... can't seem to get any better at compre... argh... then came pe, which was qutie ok, coz our class came in first for the 12x100 relay within our group, which is not bad, considering the fact tt we had 9 runners, including a runner from another class.. =) we came in 3rd for 4x100 though, but it was after the 12x100 and was taken part by jun and jasmine, who had run twice for the 12x100. u guys did great man!!! jus felt bad tt i didn take part in the 4x100, but my legs were really shaking and my thigh muscles were aching... hee... v v low stamina... and i oso dunno how to stretch. i hate stretching, prob coz i can't stretch.. haha... =)

oh man!!! tml is the match already!! seriously speaking, i'm nervous. i jus hope the team can get thru to the next round of the tournament. jus the next round!! however, think tt will depend on me as well, coz if i dun set well or dun serve well, aha!!! also GAME OVER, rite? ;) the girls' team players are dropping like flies one by one lor... first, mel was sick. she didn go training today... she was really sick badly man... then, i learnt aien has the flu too, so she didn turn up for sch today. next, min ley has a cramped muscle. let's hope her leg doesn turn blu-black tml....ahhhhhhhhhh.... hee... let's all hope there wun be anymore casualties... *crosses fingers*

anyway, i gtg do my tys... 1045 got xi jie shao nian, second last episode liao!!! byebye!!!

hihi... in response to Alvin's comments, nope, i'm not breaking down... haha... juz felt like complaining... oh well, lurve it... *evil laughter*

anyway, today was quite a good day... but it started with sucky gp... normally gp is fun.. only when we have compre which i KNOW i will fail. i didn finish the last question, and i didn complete 2 questions... tt's already like 12 marks gone... oh man.... can't seem to get any better at compre... argh... then came pe, which was qutie ok, coz our class came in first for the 12x100 relay within our group, which is not bad, considering the fact tt we had 9 runners, including a runner from another class.. =) we came in 3rd for 4x100 though, but it was after the 12x100 and was taken part by jun and jasmine, who had run twice for the 12x100. u guys did great man!!! jus felt bad tt i didn take part in the 4x100, but my legs were really shaking and my thigh muscles were aching... hee... v v low stamina... and i oso dunno how to stretch. i hate stretching, prob coz i can't stretch.. haha... =)

oh man!!! tml is the match already!! seriously speaking, i'm nervous. i jus hope the team can get thru to the next round of the tournament. jus the next round!! however, think tt will depend on me as well, coz if i dun set well or dun serve well, aha!!! also GAME OVER, rite? ;) the girls' team players are dropping like flies one by one lor... first, mel was sick. she didn go training today... she was really sick badly man... then, i learnt aien has the flu too, so she didn turn up for sch today. next, min ley has a cramped muscle. let's hope her leg doesn turn blu-black tml....ahhhhhhhhhh.... hee... let's all hope there wun be anymore casualties... *crosses fingers*

anyway, i gtg do my tys... 1045 got xi jie shao nian, second last episode liao!!! byebye!!!

wooo... jus went to the international buffet dinner at furama hotel, and wow, it was GREAT!!! much better than tt stupid Genghis Khan one tt we went to a few years ago. tt was not worth the money. last night's one, however, is a different story. there were fresh oysters, sashimi, tempura, laksa, crayfish... and the desserts were..... oooooohh.... HEAVEN!!!! i couldn wait to work thru the main courses to get to the desserts man!! and lemme tell u, the cheese cake was heavenly........ *drools* haha....

on the serious side though, i'm starting to get worried bout e As... it's like, these few days i've been sleeping tooo early... there's simply no energy left in me to do any extra revisions. i seriously wonder wat the hell i've been doing... dun even need to tok bout revisions lah, even normal day hw oso cannot complete... -_-" and also, econs is like getting tougher... i'm not sure about my essays anymore... they seem to lack substance, and i've a feeling tt x-factor is wat is gonna be the bloody hardest to get. damndamndamn.....

tournament is next week... the first match is on tues, vs SRJC... I hope we can at least get into the next round... but from my performance during the last few trainings.... well, let's jus say i hope i won't be a disappointment to the team.... my elbow injury's been like getting worse... juz serve a few balls only then the whole damn thing gets so painful. i dun even know wat started it in the first place. true, we have not bad players this time round, but with a setter like me, HOW THE HELL AM I GONNA SET A BALL FOR THEM TO SPIKE WELL!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? seriously, i'm scared... hehe... dun be surprised if u see me shaking like wat lidat on tues onthe court... so scared i wun be able to serve or set.............

i'm sounding so depressing here... haha... but well, tt's how i feel lor.. hee... anyway, let's see how the tournament goes... for those reading the entries, wish me luck and pray hard for me k? ;)

ok, now i'm using a more reliable computer to blog- the school library's one. at least this is less prone to hanging, unlike a certain computer in my house... -_-"

as i was saying yesterday before my computer hanged, we lost the NE quiz... it's quite sad... but well, we did try our best, and that's what matters... =) and also, GREAT JOB GUYS!!!! God knows how much time they put into their research and staying back to revise their facts, including Huimin. I'm sure she styaed up most of the night before to read thru all those facts lor!

been feeling so tired these days.. think it's an accumulation of sleep debts since last week, and so far, i haven been able to return the debt. sickening. been sleeping sooooo early, and nothing seems to be working so far... i'll jus wait for the weekend... hopefully there wun be much hw......

haha... HELLO MELISSA!!! she just joined me at the computer... wah so shiok.. haha... blogging and got music in my ears from POWER98FM... haha... TPJC is certainly making an effort to provide a comfortable envt for the students. do u know, now we can borrow CDs? and for ur info, the Cds are nice k.... they have soundtracks from new movies, including LOTR, and CHarlotte CHurch!! whoa... i jus borrowed the Sountrack of Bring it On. Can't wait to listen to it man!!! now, one last improvement for them: let more than one person share a computer. COME ON!!! wat if ppl are doing projects? wat do u wan them to do? share seats? wat happens when there are more than 2 ppl? stack us ontop of each other????

ok! finished wat i want to say for the moment. mel is coming back soon... better get of... haha.... byebye!!
MEL! U BETTER VISIT MY BLOG!!!! =D

haha... thank u everyone for posting ur msgs on my tagboard!!! continue to do so k???? =) nice to hear from u all.. hehe... =)

anyway, i'm kinda wondering what i'm doing blogging at this time when i still have alot of loose ends to tie up before i can go to sleep... hmm.... guess i just couldn resist gg to my blog and putting up a few of my ramblings. hee... =)

tml is the NE quiz thing... hopefully we'll do fairly well in it... *crosses fingers* our cheer sounds quite nice, so hope everyone tml will be ultra enthu and shout a lot... hehee... =)

argh... jus found out from jieting tt i'm most likely to kena tml's econ presentation... goodness... i dun even know wat she wants?! guess everyone's equally confused now... should i do this or should i go do research for tml's quiz? so confusing... u know psyduck- one of the pokemons? haha.. yah... feel like one of his "confusion" attacks now.... alot of question marks all over my head... jus too bad tt i can't do the pics....

kk.. gtg.... otherwise i really cannot do anything...

yay!! jus visited my blog and saw comments put on my tagboard by *ruler and la_hoha!!! haha... got a sense of achievement liao whoa... finally figured out how to add e tagboard.. the next thing to do now is to learn how to insert pics... any idea how to do tt? and i wanna try changing e appearance of my tagboard leh.... hehe... getting ambitious man... ;)

so sian... tml have to go back to sch... i've nvr left so much hw undone b4.. and now i'm like rushing thru it... esp econ... frankly, i dunno wat the tr wants. are we jus supposed to do the same kind of thing she left in tpjc.net? or are we supposed to go thru mods 2-7 and make mindmaps? farra said it's e latter... and oh well, i think i better take her at her word. farra's reliable... =) i jus KNEW i should have done those mindmaps last yr during the dec hols... at least i would have fewer mindmaps to do.. ah well... guess i'll have to cut corners now... argh.... A&C post tut log still not done, CR post tut oso.... and Angela Carter? read only 3 stories.... hehe... i'm in a mess now...

speaking of angela carter, i mus say, it's a different kind of gothic from Mattew G Lewis' The Monk. in The Monk, it was more about religious transgressions and a was rather sensationalistic. in angela carter, however, it's... *shrugs helplessly* scary in a sense i suppose. The Executioner's Beautiful Daughter is one such story. The executioner executes his own son for committing incest with his sister (the executioner's daughter), and yet he himself commits incest with that same daughter. he eats eggs that are just about to hatch, so that when his eggs are cooked, they are fluffy and beaked (though the beak is not that fully formed yet). It's cruel! angela carter's writing cuts straight into the reader, unlike The Monk, where i still had a sense of detachment from the book. angela carter... well, she's another kettle of fish altogether.

well, enough bout my ramblings and somewhat essay-like speech about Angela Carter and Matthew G Lewis. i gtg back to my econ. EEEW....

i've been thinking about the kaki bukit prison school trip i made with my class yesterday. it has been a real enrichment mentally and emotionally. i gotta say, i take my hat off to those prison inmates. they are so determined to change themselves in order to forge a new life for themselves when they are released. they are also v thankful for the chance to be able to be transferred to the Prison school, as they are then allowed to continue their education and hopefully have a cert to go somewhere when they are released.

do u know, one inmate, who took 6 subjects for his GCE O levels, scored 7 points in the exams?! he scored 5A1s and 1A2. yes, it's only 6 subjects, but considering his circumstances, i think he deserves our respect. his score is more than i can say for myself, seriously. this inmate is not the only person who deserves our respect and admiration. there are other ex-inmates who ultimately make it to the universities when they get released.can u imagine the struggle they had been thru to get to tt stage? can u imagine the euphoria and sense of achievement they must have felt at being able to accomplish tt much? i can't. because i haven been in their shoes. but i know they must have felt v proud of themselves.

during the Q&A session at the end of the trip, the inmates said things that really got me thinking. one said "i am around the same age group as all of u. and seeing u all here today and knowing that u will be leaving later makes me feel sad. u all are able to leave this place and go back to ur homes, ur families, while i still continue staying here. if any of you has any friends who is contemplating breaking the law or has broken the law, pls, persuade them to turn over a new leaf. urge them to stop. the prison is not a place for u all." at tt, i almost cried. i mean, i could hear the regret in his voice when he said all those things. alot of the inmates said the same thing- "we all miss our familes. we are not able to touch our families and parents the way u can, nor can we see them and tok to them as often as we would like." u can hear, from these, that they truly regret whatever they had done. u can hear, too, that they are looking forward to creating a new life for themselves when they are released, and lead an upright life.

i always knew i'm lucky. i juz didn know or bothered to think how lucky i am to be free, and be around my family and my friends. i didn ever stop to think wat i would do if one day, all these were taken away from me and i had to exchange my freedom for life in a cell. now, i realise that if these inmates are able to make good of their lives, who's to say that i, or all of us, cannot? what matters most is the will power that we have. are we strong? or would we get blown away by the first storm that comes along?

i wonder if ex-inmates are able to get jobs as teachers in the MOE after they graduate. well, personally, i think they should. after all, teachers are the role models of society. these ex-inmates ARE role models. haven they shown it by creating a new life for themselves upon their release? if anyone should counsel students and urge them not to turn to crime and at the same time understand them, these ex-inmates are the one. FORGET about the stupid and anal-retentive and rigid analogy of a rotten fruit infecting all the other fruits in the same basket. these are HUMANS we are tokking about, darling. humans cannot get infected unless they want to. we have this large convoluted mass of matter in our head called the BRAIN. fruits dun. humans are capable of thinking for themselves. fruits are not. tt's the difference.

k... it has crossed my mind tt i'm perhaps sounding too self-righteous and 'goody-goody'. well.... all i can say is TOUGH LUCK. i couldn express this in any other way even if i wanted to. if my words turn out sounding like tt... then... well.... hehe, it's fate, isn't it? ;)

haha... i know my blog looks kinda unreadable now, but i juz couldnt resist the design. dun worry, kenny korkor- my WONDERFUL KIND cousin has agreed to help me with it, though frankly i think i will have to be patient. he's kinda busy. so kenny korkor, if u are reading this, DUN PANIC. Take ur time. haha..
=)

i was just thinking about my trip to malaysia on my way home from school today. going there made me compare life there with that in singapore. over there, while the pace of life is slow and everything is backward as a result of it, the people are much nicer. kinda like e kampong kind of spirit we see and hear about on tv and from our elders. everyone is jus so helpful to one another, and everyone knows each other! You can juz sit in a coffeeshop, and start tokking to anyone over there. u know i singapore, we cannot buy food from other places and jus go to a nearby kopitiam to eat it? well, over there, u can juz do tt freely. no utensils? no problem. they'll provide it for u. everyone has this generosity of spirit tt's hardly found in singapore. here, it's jus basically a dog eat dog world. everyone jus seeks for the situation that will benefit them the most. over there, jealousy is amost a nil.

not only this, but i was wondering bout the difference in our standards of living. over there, they are content with the primitive toilet systems, which include wat i mentioned in my last entry- no taps but tubs with a small pail to scoop water. I'm not being fussy, i'm jus used to our more... err... modern toilet technology (?), and cleaner way of life. while i'm sure the theory that dirt does our bodies good sometimes is true to a certain extent, I'm real sorry to say that it took me a while to get used to it there. oh man. i guess there's jus no way of sounding nice about it. but take me seriously. i wasn going nuts there over the surroundings. i was jus gg crazy over the lack of things to do there. which is a great irony, becoz ever since i stepped into singapore, i haven done a single solid piece of work except lying down in bed to read and sleep. juz wonder sometimes if some part of me is still lagging. haha....

anyway, i got quite a shock when i finally mustered enough willpower to see wat hw i had accumulated over the few days i wasnt in singapore to check my account. i have to read like 35 stories for lit in all!!!! omg... ideally by term 2. to make my hols more fun, they are gothic stories. -_-" frankly, i've kinda forgotten wat the gothic conventions are, and the gothic genre was nvr my specialty. hee... i'm more of the idealistic romantic kinda person who prefers to live in her own fantasy little world... hehe... gothic, while they are eerily true about the human nature, are too..... hmm how should i say this? too... hard to comprehend. while u know tt these are the repressed subconscious of the human nature, u nvr realise it unless u are looking for it or the teachers have explained it to u. besides, i think poe is the hardest to understand among all. his stories are rather spooky and when i read it, i feel like i'm in this old, dark dark mansion in a rural part of England. u know, the kind of mansion shown in Eddie Murphy's "Haunted Mansion"? yah... whether it is night or day, the atmosphere i feel is always the same. so depressing! come to think of it, was it a coincidence that everytime we went thru Poe's stories last yr the sky turned dark and threatening? hmm... guess tt's my imagination running wild again.

oh well. i realise that i've been putting off the inevitable for quite some time already. there's one gothic convention following (?) me now- the fracturing of identity, which is my morals vs my desires. morals-getting on to doing my hw. desires- wasting more time. haha... i'm always caught in this convention. guess it's all part of being human *shrugs* . anyway, i gtg, if i wanna stay out of trouble next wk..... =)

hihi! hee... i jus came back from malaysia.... it was rather relaxing i guess, coz the pace of life there is SOOOOOO different from that in Singapore. frankly i think e part of malaysia i went to is one of the most backward places i've been to. in most places there, tubs of water were placed in front of the cisterns so tt u could pour water into the toilet bowl in order to flush them. it was rather boring there though. guess i've become too used to the SIngapore way of life, where everyday is juz another day of moving on and on. over there, its relaxing, coz there's NOTHING to do! u know we always watch tv serials about sinagpore in the 40s where ppl always went to the nearby coffeeshops to get together and drink coffee and tok about the latest news? yep, tt place is SOOO like tt... haha... it was kinda an enriching experience lar...

oh, and did i mention tt there were hardly any cinemas or shopping malls around? the only relatively large store was The Store, and the local supermarket store... -_-"

"Why go there then?" some ppl might ask. well, i went there for qingming festival. u know, e chinese custom of the descendants going to clean p the graces of their ancestors? tt was e highlight of my trip i think, coz it's e firs ttime i've cleaned graves b4. i know this sounds crazy, but it e experience was rather soothing. oh man........ hee...

k.. i htink i better go slp now... tml still have lit lesson... hai/... haha... i wonder how i'm gonna finish my hol hw... juz went thru my sch account, and realsed there's also lit and new econ hw.
oh god...

good nite!

heh.. been 4 days since i last blogged here. haven't had the littlest little tiny inkling about how to do the cursor thing, and the tagboard (the bloody thing!!!!). EVERYTIME i try to do it, the whole computer hangs! argh. this is so sickening. i always knew computer language would be hard, but i didn figure it would be THIS hard!! omg......

notice i gave up on trying to keep on putting fullstops already? oh well, it was getting very difficult. i can't stop my fingers from pressing the "..."s... haha... it's a habit already. Somebody, help me!!! nah... juz kidding. i think the fact tt i keep typing the "..." shows my personality- I'm a draggy person. u know... the kind who is long-winded and thinks things to death, and always cannot come to a decision? well.... sad to say, tt's me. hai... much as i wish to have this wonderful personality where i was sensitive, decisive, and every other thing which i am not, if i did become like tt, guess i wouldn't be me, would i? but then again, aren't these changes good for a person's character? I'm kinda confused, u know. i have found tt much as i have always liked to be decisive bout things, i find tt i rarely think about the repercussions of my decisions. i always tend to think about the pros and cons of something, then weigh them together. however, weighing them and coming to a conclusion is one thing. weighing them and NOT coming to a conclusion is another thing. Tt's me. u know y? coz when i think i have come to a decision, the cons of the situation come back to haunt me. I guess i should make "No pain, no gain" my personal motto, to tell me tt some sacrifices have to be made when decisions are made.

it's gonna be ms wee's last day of teaching us tml... i wonder what it will be like. Actually, i've kinda got used to her method of teaching. now tt she's gonna leave, i realise tt i'm gonna have to adapt to another teacher's teaching. great. Ms wee's not a bad person... i guess at the end of the day, she was just trying to motivate the class to do better. nope, i'm not trying to be self-righteous here, darlings... i mean, when i think about it, i realise that with another more relaxed teacher, my econs could have been worse. my tys wouldn have been touched at all, and i wouldn know how the hell to answer my essay questions. at least now one fact is drummed into my (and i'm sure the rest of our class's heads)- when C,I,G, or (X-M) increases, AD increases, and NY increases via the mulitplier effect. i have also learnt tt almost anything to do with macro economics leads to that at ultimately. hehe... so i guess for tt, we all have to thank ms wee, eh? ;)

i just realised that there is gonna be a lit s paper class. frankly, i am interested to join, but well.... there goes me thinking things to death again, and my self-confidence..... i dunno if i can handle an s paper in lit, when i feel that i'm just doing average in lit class. i can't give wonderfully analytical answers like grace and tabbi can, and it's only after teachers explain the text that i realise how wonderful the passage or poem is. give me christina rossetti, and i'll probably do the wrong analysis. how can i do s paper like tt? furthermore, taking an s paper is not only for interest, but more importantly, it's for scholarship. what's the point of me taking an s paper when i think i'm gonna only get a merit at the most? sure, some ppl might say i'm pessimisstic for thinking thus, but let's be realistic. if s paper were tt easy, they wouldn call it s paper rite? furthermore, if i were s paper material, i would have got at least a c for my promos paper last yr.

argh. maybe i should just take it and to hell with the consequences. maybe i shouldn't, and just concentrate on my other subj... there is no doubt that lit s paper is gonna be fun, but in the midst of having that fun, would i be able to do well for my other subjects as well?

i guess my decision throughout this whole thing is clear. i can see it actually, tt is ultimately, my decision would be not to take the s paper. let's just hope that i will not look back next year or the years later and kick myself for not taking the paper. *sheepish smile*

Been trying to get a new skin on my blog, but to no avail. I dun understand this HTML stuff! I managed to put whatever I wanted on the blog, and when I did, I did a preview. Guess what? The contents of the blog were overlapping the design of the skin. Arghhhh!!! What topped off the rest of it was that my computer hanged. Great. I finally gave up. Forget it. I'll do it again some other time when I've got over this trauma.

I still haven managed to get a tag board done yet. Or does anyone know how to insert a guestbook here? Just send me an email or tell me in sch pls!

You know, I've been playing around with the idea of making a skit-style format for my blog. You know, the title of my blog being Me, Myself and I? These 3 could be the main characters of my blog, and they'll be the ones narrating my day. However, I still haven't thought of how I'm gonna present each of them- the characterization and all.... Maybe I'll do it one day.... one day after the A levels... hahaha.. when i have all the time in the world to spend typing. =)

Great. My computer hung on the other window. How great can this get?! Better get this posted first before it really hangs. Wish me luck.

We got back our Chinese Alevels results today. I got A1!!! Yay!! hopefully all else goes fine form hi yea man... it's so scary. Some would say that i was oer-eactin to hte announcements of the results, coz my Chinese is ok... ut i waso scared coz of 2 reasons: 1. i was scared of history repeating itself (remember my higher chinese results? ) 2. i had to rush thru the whole chinese paper last yr... i took more than 1 1/2 hours to complete e essay. As a result, i had to rush thru my paper 2 in order to have enough time to complete everything else. i didn't think my essay was v good, and my compre and summary dun usually get good marks, and in such a condition... well... let's jus say i wasn expecting an A, though i was sure hoping for a miracle. ;)

oh well, the worst is behind now, and i'm FREE!!!! at least i can concentrate on other things now... =)

today is Tamania... the movie marathon my school's entreprenuership club is organising. also the first project they have come up with. they are gonna show 4 movies tonight: Finding Nemo, Two Weeks Notice, Spiderman and LOTR: The Two Towers. acty, it was supposed to be The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen instead of Spiderman, but i dunno wat happened. nvm, it's juz as nice, though i think League is leagues better.... hee... =)

still feeling sick... nose is so blocked... goodness... let's hope the asthma attacks dun start. that's when the real problem starts. blocked nose i can still tahan. Asthma attack? nono...... haha...

gtg.... sleepy liao and my nose is IRRITATING ME!!!!
argh
good nite!

YES!!! We won one set in today's friendly match against SRJC!!! To tell you the truth, we lost the match 2-1, but it was a good start today, coz I think it's been a long time since we've won a set during a friendly match, much less a competition (do i sound mean?). I do hope today's match will motivate the team to train harder for the Nationals'. I hope we can get through to at least the second round!!! *crosses fingers*

I guess we could have won the first set as well, coz the score was 14-21 until they caught up with us. That was during the weakest position of the team. Oh well, it was my fault too, coz I dun really know how to play when I'm in the back row. I dunno whether to wait for the first ball to be hit first before I run forward, or just run forward straightaway. argh. This is my first year playing setter actually, so I'm like, still so unfamiliar with everything. Hopefully I can grasp everything by the Nationals.

I guess I played inconsistently today. I sometimes played well, but at other times, you can say I played like s***. Come on, I even confused my players' positions!! I thought Aien was in the front row, so when i set the ball, I shouted Aien's name. Only after everything was done did I realise it was Melissa in the front row. Oh man!!! Everyone was laughing at me. What a goof. At least we got a point though. Melissa and Aien were kinda shocked that I confused the 2 of them, but luckily Mel was quick enough to just act quickly.

I dun understand my service today. It was consisitent, until the end of the second set and the beginning of the third set, where everything became haywire. Everytime I start to serve badly, the subsequent balls are just rubbish. Argh.

Notice i haven been using "..."? hehe, I realised tt it's quite irritating to read a blog with all those, so i decided to facilitate ur readings by putting the conventional punctuations. Is it better now?

Ok, i think I better go sleep now. Got a flu, not going school tml, hehe. been waiting for this day, so I can take a rest. Good nite!

=)

HeLLo!!!! came back after a tiring day.. oh man!! 2 periods of maths!!! horror of horrors!!! not tt i dun like maths.. but it's like, so draining.. haha... have to think bout newton-raphson, linear interpolation, and fixed point iteration... goodness... i dun even know which one is which, and i think it's time i read my notes man... hehe... there's a silver lining in e clouds today though.... haha... I DIDN'T GET SEASICK!!!!! ;) hehe... get wat i mean? kk.. tt's evil... i juz told Grace my new resolution. that is not to think evil thoughts... i hope to keep it... *crosses fingers*

ah well... will keep u updated on how my resolution goes... ;)

hai... so tired everyday.. and i haven even started on my revision yet.. haha.. betcha thinking "what's this crazy girl thinking of? REVISION?!! NOW? it's only MArch!!!" oh well... i'm a nerd remember? hehe... and well, now tt my second sis got her fabulous results (she got 10 points btw, which is more than i can say for myself), and my youngest sis is due to take her Os this year, i gotta work hard, coz i think this sis is gonna blow us all out of the water with her scores and make me look like a damn failure man... (come on!!! 14 points!!! tt's like e lowest in both the family branches... i think... ). anyway, with all this competition, it wouldn do to get lacklustre results once more rite? coz tt would juz like prove tt i'm not gonna amount to much.. argh...

haha.... acty a significant portion of this thing bout doing well is for myself also.... after tt fiasco during the O levels (which i STILL dun understand how i got a c6 for higher chi), i wanna do better to xi3 tuo1 zui4 ming2, so tt i wun look back like 40 years from now and regret everything... i hate having these sort of regrets...

mebbe tt's y ppl always see me like i'm a nerd. a blur one... hahaha... it's ok... it's kinda true anyway, coz i have NO LIFE!!!! my life revolves around home and sch, and the occasional friendly match at another school and maybe a weekend trip shopping... haha... mebbe i should only concentrate on buying pyjamas instead of other clothes... haha... coz by the time i go home, finish everything, it's like, no point to wear other clothes already... might as well have a larger variety of pyjamas to wear..... hahahahhahahaha... kk... tt's like so lame.. i better stop before u freeze... hehe...

anyway, i gotta figure out how to put in a tag board, so u all can come post msgs... =) wish me luck.... =)

oh btw!!!! so glad LOTR swept 11 Oscar awards!!! they deserve it man.... tt's e best movie i've seen... serious!!! =)

ok, this is getting a little lame... who visits their blog SO many times a day?! goodness! i jus wanted to report tt my fishes (nope, my father's fishes, rather) are fighting again... they are not even fighting fishes! guess they are fighting over either territory or a female... anyway, these fishes are not worth looking at, coz they are jus any other longkang fish... haha... on the other hand though, the way they fight is really v interesting.. they circle each other, and then bite each other when they think the opponent is not looking...

jus now they jus bit each other on e mouth, and they jumped out of the pond! cool! i know i prob sound like a sadist, but u should watch them fight... it's like a dance or something... and i know this sounds kinda cruel, but maybe they'll kill each other and give e other defenceless koi a chance to live... goodness! they have killed like at least 5 of the koi!!!! longkang fish are hazards to other fish i tell u... tsk tsk.... hehe...

kk.. better get off now... i'm sounding more and more like a sadistic psycho... what's worse, i'm sounding like a sadistic psycho who is totally addicted to blogging... OH MAN!!!!!!

ok... i'm back from school!!!! YAY!!! Just thought i'd post something here first before i go catch up on my sleep... i juz viewed my blog... JUST.. .and it looks nice! just that i think i need to change the fonts... Times New Roman is BoRiNg... haha..

ECP lecture was ok today.. prob coz there was no lecture... it was just studying for the Case Study test tml. acty, usually ECP lecture can be said to be quite enjoyable, coz we learn bout those chim chim things in the real world... u know, those CPF, Asian Economic Crisis, Steel Wars, etc... haha... am i sounding like a nerd? I probably am.... it jus sounds so cool, u know, hearing bout all these things happening and FINALLY knowing how they work? I always wondered how the CPF worked. Now i know...

Hehe... i guess u are probably thinking now: doesn this person EVER read the papers? yah, i do... i read the Life! section... coz it's easier to digest... haha... i like e main sections too, but i tend to get interested in like, every article inside, so there's no "thumb" to read it (yes yes, i know i have thumbs.. i have 2... but... oh well, u probably get what i mean... =])

i haven got round to reading my Year old Economists yet.. they're still in their plastic bags.. man.... but seriously, dun think "The Economist?! EEEW!!!" it's acty quite interesting u know.... ^_^... haha... i'm serious!!! the reason why i dun read them is the same reason as why i dun read e main sections of the newspaper.. i prefer to have time on my hands.. the only time where i really went thru The Economist was for PW, when i needed research.. hehe... =) that was when i realised The Economist is acty nice to read... haha...

Can someone please enlighten me on whether i can put emoticons in my posts? they get so dry and being the "simple girl in a high tech digital world" that i am, it's... ahem... kinda obvious tt i dunno many symbols to use... heee... =) i'd be glad if anyone could teach me... PLEASE!!!!

haha... better go catch up on my sleep now... later still have to pia for econ... wish me luck man... i seriously dunno wat to study.... haha...

BYEBYE!!!

HArloW!!! Is my new blog NIcE?! haha... this is thanx to GRACE!!!!!!!!
hehe.. enjoy!! i gtg ECP now.. so sian... ecoN... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..

ok, tt's rubbish.
bye.