Happy Birthday to Me!

Haha... Yep, my birthday was just over like... an hour and 20min ago, but still, I'm still quite touched by the events of today. Thanks to everyone who sent me birthday greetings and celebrated my birthday with me! And to Evon: I still miss you! This is the first birthday with you not in Singapore!

Anyway, the day started with me being late (I'm so sorry!) meeting Si Huan and Merrilyn. Alvin doesn't count 'cos he was late too! Met him while walking up the stairs from the train. And then we went to Kbox, where we sang until 2+ pm, and reluctantly left the place. There were still so many songs unsung! And most (if not all) of the songs unsung were Si Huan, Merrilyn and Alvin's! Feel so bad. They pushed my songs up first to let me sing 'cos it was my birthday. So sweet! Hey! We must go Kbox again after the exams k?! This time sing longer! Not bad! Everyone can sing so well! =) Though there were some points when we had no mo qi. ;) OH! I almost forgot! Merrilyn, Si Huan and Alvin sang Twins' Happy Birthday to me! Haha... So fun.. But I thought the song was never going to end. It just kept going on and on... and faster and faster... Oh man.. haha... Nonetheless, first time I've had a karaoke versh of Happy Birthday sung to me!

Then, with nothing to do from 2+ to 5.30, we walked around Suntec, and discussed project in a corner of Suntec. Haha, that is a nice place to do discussions! Nobody disturbs us! =) Yah I know... It sounds a bit anti-climatic to actually discuss project on my birthday and after an exhilarating time at Kbox, but to be honest, I quite enjoyed the discussion leh. Quite fun what, and at least we got some of our discussions done. =)

Then off it was to meet Pony and Wen Keat. We went to Chong Qing Yuan Yang Steamboat! Haha, it's a new experience, though I think Marina Bay's variety is better. This Chong Qing place is only a good experience to try Yuan Yang hotpot and the Ma La hot pot. Other than that, Marina Bay wins. =) I had a great time there though, haha. It was so full of laughs! With WenKeat and Alvin... Oh man... haha, and Si Huan... Natural entertainers.. =)

First joke of the day:
Si Huan: My whole family uses the leftover watermelon to rub on our face, that's why my skin is
so nice. Alvin you should do it!
The rest: (eye her suspiciously)
Si Huan: It's true! (proceeds to demonstrate)
People walk past, looking at her and wondering what she's doing.

Second joke of the day:
Si Huan: I think it's the chemical reaction of my saliva and the white of the watermelon that
make my skin nice when I apply on myself. Alvin, you should seriously try it.
Wen Keat: Then he should bring the whole bag home and try!
Alvin: ... Don't want! Later infection!
Wen Keat: Yah lor, then maybe mushrooms will grow on your face!
(Loud bursts of uncontrollable laughter around the table)
Pony: Then Alvin bo hua leh, come here to eat steamboat. He can pluck the mushrooms from
his face.
(More uncontrollable laughter, this time with moans of pain as we hadn't recovered from our last laughter)

Wen Keat and Merrilyn proceeded to eat LOTS of prawns (or should I say Merrilyn only?) after the rest of us gave up. Then we went to Bugis.

3rd joke:
Si Huan to me: Your surprises for today haven't ended yet.
Me looking at her wide-eyed: Don't tell me they went to buy cake!
Si Huan: Dunno leh, maybe they are making chocolate cake in the toilet! But why take so long?
Wen Keat: Maybe not enough ingredients. That's why Merrilyn was eating so many prawns just
now. She wanted prawn flavoured cake!
(uncontrolled laughter again)

Yah. That's it. But in between, there were many jokes! To tell them all, I'd need until like tomorrow, but I'm too sleepy. Haha. Yah I realise some of these jokes are a lil mean and erm... disgusting, but at that point in time it was rather funny, particularly when you see Wen Keat's face when he talks. I guess you just have to be there when the jokes were being said. =) Oh, and I don't think Alvin's offended....

Haha, Si Huan got saboed! Though she didn't realise it. We meant to sing the birthday song to her in Swensen's when the Earthquake was brought over, but she was too preoccupied singing out my name that she didn't hear everyone else singing her name! =D

Oh and there's 15% off for anyone with a birthday at Giordano's! Bought a pair of jeans from there. Been eyeing their jeans for ages! But it's still quite ex... from $45 to $38. Not very much of a good deal, but I've been drooling so much over it that I'm running low on water. I saw another pair which I like! (Like the cutting! and the design!) But it was $69!!! Even with 15% discount, it's still too much. I have to start saving money. But I'm not doing a very good job of it leh.

They gave me a blue Mizuno sports bag! =) Thanks guys! Haha, it might look small on the outside, but upon closer inspection the moment I got home, the interior is quite large! =) Aiyah, even if it wasn't, I'd still squeeze my clothes in one! =)

Shinder just called me! Wow she remembered my birthday even though we haven't talked in ages! So sweet of her! Really happy!

Haha, think this has been a wonderful birthday for me! Lots of people remembered me, and wonderful presents I received! Haha, all are presents I've always secretly wanted but never bought because of the cost, or because I wasn't sure if I would use it. But since it's given to me, I SHALL USE IT! =D The only dark cloud is that I'm 20. Yah, I know, most people can't wait for 21, but... 20 is old!! Just imagine, I shall be 30 in 10 years' time! And there's no significant other in sight! Haha... I sound desperate... Haha... I'm just kidding. But well... It's no fun getting old leh. Wonder why I wanted to grow up so much when I was young. Silly.

Haha. I shall retire to bed now. My eyes can't open.

Thanks again, everyone, who did or said things to make my birthday a great and memorable one!

And Serene, CONGRATS on passing your exam! =)

Crikey the last 2 days have been a total waste. I thought I'd have learned from my lesson from last break, but apparently, I'm still too addicted to slacking. -_-"

Though DAC has been taking most of my concentration, I think I'm not justified in not doing anything. Social Psych has been untouched! And I'm going to be out of the house the whole day tomorrow! And Tuesday! Ahhhh!!!

OK, I'm going to work hard. I'm going to sign out of MSN. Right Now.

A Meaningless Routine?

I'm supposed to write about a meaningless routine for my Craft of Writing assignment. What a joke. All routines have meaning what, otherwise why do them for goodness' sake! I feel like writing, "doing the regular assignments for this course is a meaningless routine in itself", but that would be digging a grave for myself. Really! What do they want us to write?

I've decided to write about making my bed. I mean, that was the best routine I could write about. What else? Doing homework? Eating? Well I do find eating meaningless sometimes. If only there was such a pill or chewing gum like the one Willy Wonka invented- the gum that can allow one to eat 3 meals! Haha... then don't have to worry about what to eat, or that I'm too full to eat or something. BUT sometimes I do enjoy eating... Hehe, think if such an invention is created, we can all say byebye to recess, lunch breaks etc. Hmm.. it'd be good for workaholics who go without meals though. At least they wouldn't have to worry about gastric problems. =)

OK, let's brainstorm about why making beds is meaningless.

1) I'll only mess it up again at night---> waste of time
2) What if I oversleep?
3) Too busy!
4) Do it so that people won't think I'm a messy person

Can't think of anymore reasons, but I would think points 1,2 and 3 can be under the category of "waste time". So that leaves me with only 2 reasons. Think you I can play around with 2 reasons? 250-300 words? I've never had a problem with exceeding word limits before! This is shocking.

Anyway, Evon left on Thursday. It still feels kind of surreal that she's gone. I just keep thinking she's in school or something. And I think noozer is lovesick. He doesn't seem to have any energy!
Just talked to Evon on the phone. Poor girl! She's sick, in a foreign country, and has no friends yet! And she's homesick! When I spoke to her on the phone just now I also almost cried man.. I miss her! Didn't think I would miss her so much. It's almost as if it's beginning of last sem all over again, when I missed everyone so much. Haha, I was always on the verge of crying whenever I spoke to my family in the first few weeks. Thank goodness I have gotten used to it, and have begun to appreciate hall life. =) Well... in a sense, I guess I'm luckier than Evon. At least I'm still in Singapore, and at least I had Serene as my roommate. These 2 combinations made my adjustments better! =) But for Evon... I do hope she adapts soon!

Miss herMiss herMiss herMiss herMiss herMiss herMiss herMiss herMiss herMiss herMiss her!!

Tay Yi Fang if you read this you better tag on my board or I shan't call you anymore!

Ok, I'm going to watch Kate and Leopold now. Bye!

Updates...

Yes, I'm so totally bored with Developmental Psych that I just had to empty my thoughts into this Pensieve known as my blog. Nothing can get into my useless computer of a brain, so I have decided to take a break (but seriously, i haven't even reached the 3rd lecture!)

Si Huan, this is what i think!

Basically I think what you said about the life instincts operating on a higher level of awareness while the death instincts operate under a lower level. This can be seen through the survival of the fittest, and when people are on the verge of death. Their instinct is to LIVE, not die, just like Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Hmm.. but when does the death instinct take place? Personally, I think it happens when a person feels that his or her life is threatened. I once watched a movie about this girl who was sent to a freak show because she had hair all over her body that made her look like a wolf. Her friend then gave her a chemical his mother had invented (but it was not finalised yet) that could get rid of her hair and make her more human. It worked at first, and she soon wanted more, to get rid of even more hair. BUT what happened was that the friend's mother injected more of the chemical into a rabbit, and instead of losing all its hair, the rabbit started ripping its own skin from itself. Yes. It bit the skin off itself. It was like self-destructing because from what the mother said, "It felt scared". Si Huan, perhaps that's what you meant by the death instinct? Similarly, when it's applied to humans, when we are really scared and running for our lives, it's primarily for survival. But what happens when we reach a dead end or reach the edge of a cliff? What would we do? Would we surrender to the threat? Or would we attempt a last-ditch effort to save our life? What if jumping off the edge of the cliff resulted in death? Would we still take it? Perhaps this is what Freud meant when he says that the life and death instinct can coexist together...

On to less disturbing stuff...
Chinese New Year came and went, all in the blink of an eye! I thought 5 days was sufficient to catch up with work, but BOY WAS I WRONG! I didn't get to catch up on ANY work at all, much less DO work. Sheesh... It was fun though, getting to dress up as I usually wouldn't, and seeing relatives whom we seldom see, and catching up with cousins whom we haven't seen for a long time! Here are some pictures!

3 of us in the car. It was a looooong ride to fourth grand-aunt's place. Her place is at Tanjong Pagar ( I think).













And here are my 2 cousins. My 2 and only paternal Singaporean cousins! The other 3 are in Australia... =) The one on my right is Kenny, and the one on the left is Eng Hock. See the family resemblance?


Isn't he sooo adorable?! He's my nephew, Jingxun, only 15 months old this year. He looks like a future Mr Nice Guy, and someone who can act in one of Jack Neo's movies! =) Very sociable and friendly and generous! He even offered us his ang pows! =D


My 3 other nephews. Introducing Sean (the one behind), Gerald (the one saying "Cheese!") and Jonan (in orange). Jonan was supposed to look handsome! He is, you know, just that I think he just got scolded by his mother, that's why he looks a little grudging... Three more are missing, but never mind, I shall get their photos when I see them!

So yep, the days passed very fast...

And now fast forward a few days....
It was a HORROR. Last week was the ultimate HORROR I tell you. Presentations, fairs, all came at one go. Late nights and early mornings were a norm last week, with only Friday to sleep in. I tell you, never have I been so happy to see a Friday coming. There was Chocolate Fest and HSS Family Fiesta, but I was mostly at the Chocolate Fest there, coz I was down for duty for like the whole day on Thursday. Wednesday was full of commitments- school, helping Dr Lee, and then a meeting with DAC. Tuesday... was busy with preparations for Chocolate Fest. Decorating the board, when I have no sense of decor AT ALL. Sheesh. Thank goodness for Shuen Yun's help man... Without her I think I would have gone mad or something. When Thursday came, I was rather relieved. And thanks to all my subcommers man. Without them I think I might have had another round of madness, so thank you! Even though I know some of you were bored to tears that day... hehe...

And today... SAD.
The test was such a disaster! I know I read the answers to those questions before the test, and I know that I know the answers, BUT I COULDN'T REMEMBER THEM! I think I only managed to remember like a fraction of each question, so that amounts to, what, a small percentage of the marks? And the essays. Which person in their right mind would give 4 essay questions and 24 short answer questions that merit 3 marks to be done in 2 hours?! And the prof could still say, "The paper will only end at 1330. You have plenty of time to complete your paper, so relax." Sheesh. How the hell was I to relax? And how much does one write for a 3 mark short answer question anyway? Is it 3 points, or does it have to be a mini-essay? And if so, why would it be called short answer questions? They should be called SHORT ESSAYS! !(*^#*&^(*^$#&%

It was such a disappointment today man... Hopefully Developmental Psych will be a much kinder paper, though I doubt it very much. My only hope lies in the coming break, where HOPEFULLY I shall have enough time to catch up on my work... Ohhhhh WHO AM I KIDDING? There's gonna be NO break. I have to help organise the JB Food Trip, which is sooo gonna take up so much time! And study for Social Psych. And complete the 2 projects.

My life has narrowed down to NTU. Experience Nanyang. Oh yeah *nods head*. Believe me, I am.

And fast forward another few days to Thursday...
Evon's going to NZ already! Time really flies man. It seems like only yesterday when I just thought her (or anyone of us, for that matter) going overseas to study was such a faraway thing. Now Evon's going away, leaving Yi Lun and me in Singapore. And Yi Lun in Clearwater, soon going to NUS, and if she's going to take up Vet Science as well, then Massey Uni next year. So that will leave lonely old me back in Sunny Singapore. Yippee. What fun. I better find a better half before Yi Lun goes away, so there's someone to spend time with me. My parents have each other already. I'm just an extra. Haha! =) I'm just kidding lar. How to find someone man?! My life is only NTU now. Last week I hardly had time to even talk to my father! So sad, considering the fact that we talk every day. Last week's standard conversation was, "Hello? Pa ah? Yah, I'm ok, but very busy. I'll call you again ok? Ok I'll remember to take my chicken essence, bye!" That kind of thing. Well, take out the exclamation mark from the "Bye" and that's basically it. I just put the exclamation mark there to give a kind of positive spin on the conversation, but the truth is, it was said in a tired voice.

Anyway. Back to Evon and my future sad and lonely existence in Singapore. Maybe if Yi Lun goes to NZ next year I'll be living with 2 'younger siblings'- Angel and this other boy. Goodness. What great fun I'll have, going home to see my siblings, who actually aren't. Who am I going to talk to? I might as well also go overseas lar, like that. Hopefully I'll get the exchange programme. But then again, getting the exchange programme would mean *GASP* MORE YOUNGER SIBLINGS!! Sheesh. So there you have it. To go, or not to go, that is the question.

OK, this entry is getting depressing, and I better end it. Perhaps it's my death instinct at work, getting me all depressed so that I won't be in the mood to study and then won't do well for this coming test and then not doing well for subsequent tests and then finally getting even more depressed until I get a nervous breakdown and maybe end up in IMH for the rest of my life.

Ok, I was exaggerating.

Whee!

Chinese New Year's coming!! Can't wait for it. Not only do we get the ang pows, we will also get to dress up, and then go visiting (not that I like this part very much. I only like visiting some families. Hee.. ). Best of all, it's HOLIDAY!

I'm going home tomorrow after the interview. Oh man, after knowing more about the service which I'll be hired for (IF I manage to pass the interview, and that's a very big IF), I'm starting to have doubts about myself. What if I can't handle the child? What if I'm too blur to know what the aim of the activity is or how it is supposed to be carried out? And what if I don't have enough time to catch up on my work this sem? Thing is, I think this home teachers thing will require me to go to the child's house to teach him/her, and one big problem is my parents. Will they let me go to another person's house? Papa is already nagging about the time needed to be spent there. I kind of agree with him, but I was also thinking, this kind of opportunity doesn't come very often, and I should try to broaden my exposure if I'm going to go this Psychology path. So it's a question of what my priority is. Then again, we will only know the results after the interview.

Yep, so tomorrow's Thursday, and Friday will be coming! Friday's gonna end at 2.30pm, and then I can go out with Evon and Yi Lun! I do hope we'll be watching Memoirs of a Geisha! I've been waiting for it for like forever! And we're gonna buy Yi Lun's new year clothes, clothes that she'll wear for chinese new year, but ultimately belong to me, coz she seldom wears those clothes. Muahahahahaha! I like! I do hope we find nice clothes though... =)

OK, so there's all you have of my bimbotic talk tonight. I was merely taking a break from my research on the Weecare services. I'd hate to think I failed the interview because I went there an idiot and came out looking like a bigger idiot. So I better go learn about autism and the school and maybe about the situation in Singapore about autistic children.

Wish me loads of luck people!

And in case I don't blog again before Chinese New Year,

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR and GONG XI FA CAI!!

What is my Major?

I have NOOOO idea why the results turned out so small man.. the bars are supposed to reveal the different percentages I scored for each Major and now the only indication is the numbers. -_-"

Oh well. Personally, I feel the results are rather accurate, though I don't really know why Sociology is the course that's for me. 100% some more! I always liked Anthropology, seriously, so there's no surprise that it's ranked the same as Psychology. In fact, before I decided to take up Psychology, I wanted to do Anthropology, but I had already dropped History and Singapore doesn't have a course on Anthropology. I love culture! And people. =)Surprisingly (or not) Journalism's 3rd place. Prior to wanting to do Anthropology and Psychology, I wanted to be a journalist and eventually a writer, but I eventually came to terms with the fact that I was never gonna be as creative and as engaging as the bestseller authors, and I dislike having to write with restrictions. In journalism, there are restrictions I feel, coz there are points about each event to be noted down, and we HAVE to include them in our articles. When there are such points to be written my writing goes all stiff and horribly awkward. Sounds fake to me, and I can't write well. That's why I much prefer writing Lit essays to GP essays. Lit essays offer more freedom to express my thoughts and there's greater flexibility in language. =)

No surprises that the science subjects rank so low in my score... Absolutely no interest in them, especially Physics, though I wonder why Chem is the lowest. Dance and Art... Not that I dislike them, but coz I can't do them for nuts. I'd LOVE to be able to do Art and Dance, but I've accepted that some things just can't be forced.
-_-"

This picture was taken by Merrilyn in her room. It's now my wallpaper picture. I wanted to remove it from my wallpaper initially, but the more I look at it, the more I like it.



What do you think?

What is my Major?

You scored as Sociology. You should be a Sociology major! Sociology 100% Anthropology 92% Psychology 92% Linguistics 92% Theater 83% English 83% Journalism 83% Engineering 75% Philosophy 75% Dance 58% Mathematics 50% Biology 50% Art 42% Chemistry 33% What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3) created with QuizFarm.com

Busybusybusy

Sch started about 4 weeks ago, and things are picking up fast! Projects have started coming in, quiz dates have been booked, presentation deadlines coming up, and events are rushing in! Whooo! Life's getting more exciting!

Social Psych already has a project, and we are just beginning to get underway, once we confirm a social psychology question to research on. It's funny you know, how we can think of so many questions regarding social psychology and when the time comes to think of a topic, the mind is blank. Ah well, no point longing for something that isn't likely to come back for probably forever... Our project is on fundamental attribution error. Fundamental attribution error is the error outsiders make regarding a person's behaviour. That is, when someone behaves a certain way (the actor), an outsider will attribute the actor's behaviour to his/her personality, while the actor would attribute his/her behaviour to the situation. So for example, if I were to fall down in lecture, those who don't know me would think that I'm a clumsy person, but I would think that it's not because I'm clumsy, it's coz the floor was slippery. =) More specifically, our project on the fundamental attribution error is regarding cultural differences-how individualism in the west and collectivism in the east can contribute to differences in fundamental attribution errors. Cool question, isn't it? Now, if I can only access the journal providers....

Quiz is for Developmental Psych, and immensely interesting module about human development. I just hope the quiz is easy... It's a few weeks after CNY and I hope there's enough time to finish revision...

And the presentation I'm absolutely dreading- CS814: Information Visualisation and Perception, and we have to give a presentation on visual attention. Where the hell am I gonna get the info from man I wonder. One silver lining in this otherwise very very dark cloud is the fact that after this presentation I don't have to worry about this course until the term paper is due, for which I'm sure a very big headache is imminent. Bleah.

Events coming up! Whoo! Chocolate Festival 2006 is coming up from 8-9 Feb. I'm involved in the publicity for it, but I'm not entirely sure where I can find proper pictures... I feel those I submitted were most apt for the posters... But they were too pixelated. Argh!! So now I have to find alternatives. Sheesh. Another event coming up is the HSS family fiesta. Merrilyn's setting up a booth and I think I'm gonna help her, though I haven't really thought how yet, since the Choc Fest is going on at the same time. Hmm... Food for thought later... One more event is the upcoming JB Food Trip during the Feb break. Meetings are commencing to plan it. Hope turnout is good this time....

On top of these, I'm thinking of signing up for a teaching prog for autistic children which I think would be quite enriching and a good experience. At the same time I'm also interested in the job offer to be a student helper in psych research. I think both would be good exposures for me in the field of Psychology and they sound very interesting. Haha, but I would have to pass the interview for the autistic children one first.... And I have to complete my resume. Argh!

Ok, I'm going to sleep now. My eyes are tired....

Ooh lala, the prediction of my future seems quite positive, so I do hope it's gonna come true! As for how accurate the personality test is, I shall let you decide! =)

The Picto-Personality Test You are a person who is very calm and kind. You go out of your way to help people who need your help. When alone, you let it all hang out and ignore every social convention. You are adventurous, always up to do the most extreme things. You have a certain recklessness that makes people very attracted to you. In the future you will be happy and live richly.

Take this Test at QuizGalaxy.com

Late Thursday Night

Yah, and my hair's still wet. Waiting for it to dry so I'm lounging in front of the laptop finding things to do. I don't want to read my Psych stuff! So sian, so I decided to take a break from all these.

Chocolate Fest is coming in Feb! Watch out for it!

Haha, the meeting today was about this Chocolate Fest... I'm supposed to do the publicity stuff for it... Bleah. I don't like designing. Writing, I can do. But designing? NOOOOO! So I've asked Yi Lun for help, since she's GOOD at it. =)

Argh! My hair is still damp! And my body seems to itch alot today. I wonder if there are more mosquitoes tonight than usual. Irritating. I can't wait to go to sleep man, coz when I wake up, it'll be Friday!

Miscellaneous Thoughts...

Back in Hall again after a public holiday and a rather slack 1st week. Lessons are due to start this week, and I have just come back to reality that tutorials start tomorrow and I HAVE NOT STARTED YET!! Crap. If not for Sihuan's SMS asking what are personality concepts, I think I would have just happily gone to sleep tonight man.. And now when I look at the questions, it's like what the?!?!? I'm supposed to do a piece of experience sampling for 2 days and map a 2-day rhythm for myself and extract som personality concepts out of my experience sampling and make a simple record of my experiences?! For starters, I don't even know what experience sampling is, and I don; know what personality concepts are, and, what kind of record am I supposed to come up with? AND I don't have 2 days. Great. And I have a feeling my tutor is Chang Weining. Serve me right, I guess, for being such an ostrich.

It's been raining everyday these days, and I'm LOVIN' IT! =) Gloomy the skies may be, but at least it's cool. I hate hot weather. Makes me feel so stifled and sticky and not able to think. And cool weather is good for resting. I guess that's part of the reason why I didn't do my tutorials.

I watched the rerun of Campus Superstar today. Hey Dunmanians, we have a junior inside! She's Clara! Haha, not that I know her, but I heard she's my volleyball junior and school junior. She's not bad, and she's quite sweet too, but she almost got kicked out last night. Haha, first time one hears of a Dunmanian actually taking part in a singing competition. Last time, we mostly heard Dunmanians taking part in Science and Math competitions. Oh, and Ivan took part in Who Wants to be a Millionaire back in Sec 4. Haha, it's always kind of a thrill to watch one's schoolmates on TV, even though one might not be close to that schoolmate.

Read my mail today, and I think chances of me receiving the bag I ordered online before Chinese New Year are getting smaller and smaller by the day. From what I read in the email sent by the organiser, the supplier seems to reply selectively to her emails, and keeps talking about money, money, money. Argh.

Yes, I know... I have to get back to my tutorial... Wish me luck for it man...

Online shopping!

Even as I type, now, the other window in this laptop is in Livejournal, looking at stuff people are selling online. I can't help it. It's so addictive to go look at new stuff for sale online everyday while being cooped up in our little world that's called NTU. What's more, it's like shopping without having to move!

I placed an order for a white handbag a few weeks ago, and I can't wait to get my hands (or my eyes) on it! Hope my first time at this online shopping spree business won't have a sad ending for me. I really like the bag. Hope it comes soon! Preferably in time for Chinese New Year, but I have a feeling that my wish is not going to come true. =) It would look quite nice with my New Year clothes, seriously.

Ooh, before you get the idea that I buy things online on a regular basis without a single thought as to the cost of the items, YOU'RE WRONG! Haha.. I just feast my eyes and dream a little about how I would feel if I had ordered that item. Even though I have done it a few times already, I still do feel apprehensive about buying things online. There has to be a certain degree of trust between buyer and seller, but what if *GASP* the item gets lost in the mail or something? Yep, so though I like to look at the stuff online, it's quite a rarity for me to actually carry out the terribly tempting deed of clicking the button to place an order or negotiate the price of an item. =)

Which reminds me. The page in the other window is idle. I gotta go. Bye!

End of IHG, Beginning of a New Semester

It's the end of IHG for the Hall 6 girls' volleyball team. It's quite sad, 'cos we had played all the way to the semis, only to lose there. We met with Hall 2, and I must say, it was a GOOD game. In fact, it was the best game I've ever had the pleasure to play. Everyone put up a good fight, and at the end of the games, both sides were still friends and I think both sides respected each other more for the fight each put up. Still, I wish that we had won... Who doesn't? But I wish Hall 2 all the best in the finals. I think they'll be the champs this year. =)

Now I know what makes vball players hooked to the game. I didn't really understand before, but I think I do now. In the past, for me it was just a form of exercise and something I knew how to do (In JC, that is. In secondary school it was mostly 'cos I was already in that CCA and there wasn't much point in quitting since I had made good friends there). This time, I felt the adrenaline rush and the rush of pride for the team whenever we won a game. These two feelings combined are truly very addictive feelings, one I wouldn't mind to repeat again next year, should I be in Hall 6 again. The feeling of playing this time was thrilling, and, at the same time, scary. You never know when and where the ball is coming, and when you manage to receive the ball and help save the team a point, the happiness and satisfaction is so great. I kept getting killed by Joy's ball that day. Argh!! Haha, one day, I shall learn to master receiving that kind of ball. I hope it'll be soon...

School's started, and it will officially start next week with the tutorials. Just finished acknowledging the subjects, and I'll be taking 5 subjects again this sem, contrary to the 6 subjects I had initially planned for. -_-" I had wanted to start on my Minor this semester, but... there's no more vacancy! So I shall have to settle for CS814, which is some science module which looks rather boring. Still... I shall have to take that sooner or later so I shall try to look at it in a positive perspective. Craft of Writing seems quite promising from the lecture. Let's hope I'll do reasonably well for this course. Hmm... I wonder if there are anymore of such courses. In the event that I do well for it (I really hope I do!!!!) I hope to be able to take other of such courses. Seems fun. =)

Let's hope this new semester will bring with it good news and good results and everything good for all of us. I wish you all a happy semester ahead of you! =)

Christmas Shopping

Oh man.... I haven't finished buying Christmas presents yet!! Still left with Evon's one... How?!?!?!?

Went out with my mother and her colleague, Evelyn, just now. NOW I know what shopping is. Haha, she's the real shopping queen man, knowing the salesgirls and they her, and buying whatever catches her fancy, and knowing where to find what. She even knows who to find to make good imitation branded clothes which are, in her own words, "like the real goods... down to the smallest detail". Well, I can't say for sure how true that is, coz I realise now that I don't have the kind of eye needed to be able to differentiate real from imitation, so I guess I'll have to take it at her word. We went from Wisma to Far East to DFS, and, boy, is she a member of so many shops- DFS, Soo Kee, Iora... you name it, she's got it. Even if she doesn't, there's some way she can get a discount. Oh man... Haha, and she's got quite an eye for clothes I must say, even for young people. =)

Bought 2 tops which I would normally pass up coz they are not my kind. Shall post up the pics one day. Too lazy to do so now. I used to ignore those kind of clothes coz I thought they would not suit me, but surprisingly, I look decent in them, though I still feel a teensy bit self-conscious when I wear them. Not sure if I'll bring them to hall though.... Haha, maybe this is another excuse to go shopping again? =)Oooh, which reminds me... I have to get bottoms for the tops! Coz the tops are for Chinese New Year. I saw this bottom in Mango, and I was so tempted to get it! It was at a discount, initially at $75, now at $49. Basically I felt it was a good buy, coz I was blinded by my desire to get it, but now, yah, $49 is still kinda steep... It's the normal price of pants sold outside Mango when there's no sale. How sad... I still quite like that bottom though.........

Angel is on holiday! Yippee! Haha, this means I don't have to get up to make her breakfast anymore... Hehe... Not that it's tedious or what, I just don't like to get my sleep interrupted. Luckily it just takes about 10min to get her breakfast prepared and then off I go back to dreamland. Hee... And before you get it into your mind that I prepare some ghastly breakfast for her that makes her run to the toilet, I don't! I prepare very nice breakfast for her k! The first day was the sausages sliced and cheese put on top of the bread and then toasted in the oven (Serene, does it sound familiar? ;) ). The third day (second day I had training, so it was Von who did it) was ham and cheese sandwich. Fifth day (also Von, coz I had training) was cheese sandwich. So you see, I'm nice, aren't I? Oh, and these eaten with Milo. Haha...

OK, I have to go now... Have to start thinking how and what to get for Evon for Christmas. I hope I can get the answer by tomorrow. Good night and Merry Christmas everyone! =)

Yesterday's friendly match with Sheares Hall was a disaster for me. I was allocated a new position- centre- a position I've never played in my whole life, so I messed up everything. When I thought the ball was supposed to be for the back row, I went for it. When the ball was supposed to be for the front row, I left it to the back to take it. I kept forgetting to shout for the ball when I wanted to hit it, I couldn't send the ball to the spiker, and hooking was crap. Argh. I'm rather surprised they still put me in to play though.

So I guess you can guess whether we won or lost. We played 4 sets, and we lost all 4 sets, and I have a nasty feeling quite alot of the points were lost because of me.

I won't say my mistakes were due entirely to a new position, but also because I think I wasn't motivated enough to play well yesterday, which is so disgusting, 'coz it's a very bad attitude to have to play. But maybe this is what they mean by 'off-form', where everything just seems to go wrong no matter how you want to play well but can't seem to get up the drive.

Oh man... Tomorrow is another training. I'm soooo lazy to move myself to NTU tonight again, and I'm sure my father is too. And tonight we are gonna have a wonderful dinner. I hope. What a bad way to end a potentially wonderful evening. Ah well, let's hope tomorrow's training will go smoothly! =)

The Long Wait is Over!

Yep! Results are out finally! Haha, not that I was particularly eager to know my results, but I couldn't stand not knowing how I did for the exams, particularly the papers which I felt I had flopped in.

Well, results were ok, better than I expected (cos I wasn't expecting much), but Stats was a disappointment, though it could have been worse based on the bell curve. I should be happy about my overall results, so I shan't waste my time thinking about should haves and could haves.

Oh, and I've finally managed to turn up for hall trainings! Been going for every training since the time when I stupidly turned back home from Tiong Bahru, and I think my teammates are very nice people. At least they don't look at you like you just did something so disgustingly wrong when you miss a ball or when you hit a ball wrongly. On the contrary, they encourage you and tell you that it was a good try. AND they were all said with a smile, which makes a difference. I appreciate that, and I feel that would be a better working environment than in an environment where criticisms and dark looks are given when something is done wrong. It stifles improvement and increases stress, so much so that at the end, one wonders why one still bothers to actually want to continue with that particular activity.

One thing that makes me so lazy to go back for training is the fact that NTU is so friggin' far away from my house! I have to stay in hall like twice a week to attend training just so that I don't have to wake up at the ungodly hour of 0545 to make my journey down to NTU. Ah well... And today's slightly better though, cos it's a friendly match with NUS' Sheares Hall, and it's in the afternoon. Nonetheless, I'll have to make my way down soon.... I just hope I'll not be home too late. Been getting too used to staying at home and enjoying the comforts of home, so much so that thoughts of school reopening nearly plunges me into depression. OK, so that was an exaggeration, particularly when an advantage of going back to school would be that I wouldn't have to teach a particular someone who is so totally unmotivated to learn but so motivated to learn how to dress herself up like some wayang singer, thinking that she looks like some million-dollar superstar. A girl of 12, putting mascara and makeup and thinking that people are so jealous of her looks that they are out to get her and her friends!

Ok, to be fair, there's another side to her that's endearing as well: that is that she has initiative and she can be qutie helpful. And she is the kind that 讲义气，which takes character. I just wish I knew how to convince her that it's still too early for her to wear makeup and spend more of her time learning her English.

Or maybe I'm not cut out to be a teacher at all.

Volleyball Training Today

I finally moved my butt to do more than jogging every 2 weeks. I went back to TPJC to play vball with the juniors today, and wow, all I can say is, LUCKILY I went to train there first before I went for the hall training.

After not playing vball for almost a year, my arms have become so unused to the force of the ball and the pressure it exerts when we play it. So now I have to endure the pain of a first timer again. Crap. AND I played more vigorously than a first-timer usually does, so now I end up with 2 swollen forearms. It hurts to stretch them. Needless to say, my legs are aching as well. Haha, I'm not regretting it though, 'cos I got to refresh my skills again, and realise that my service has deteriorated. *sniff sniff* Ok, let's hope that the next time I play, I'll be better.

Which reminds me to ask about the hall trainings again. I haven't been to a single hall training yet, and nobody ever tells me when they are. They don't even have a schedule or sth to send to us... goodness. So far there have been 2 trainings (if I'm not wrong), and I haven been to any of them, the first time being that I had to go for Rotaract, the second time being that I had diarrhea. Again. Argh. That seems to be a common phenomenon with me these days... I wonder what's wrong with my stomach, but I highly suspect it's sth to do with eating the chilli padis whole. Haha, and the thought of eating them whole is making me salivate. It's so shiok I tell u, but I must warn u chilli-lovers: your stomach will BURN after eating it, and make sure you are healthy when you eat, otherwise throwing it up will be a damn horrifying experience.. and.... beware when you go to the toilet... it burns too........... heh... disgusting, I know, but I think I should warn u first... haha... =)

Of Weddings and Gatherings

The last week has been a wonderful flurry of activity- a cousin's wedding, and relatives who came over to attend the wedding. Here are some photos to show you!

My first time as a guest-book signer officer (don't know what you call them...), though I'll admit I wasn't of much help, mostly 'cos I didn't know what to do and 'cos Bernice Jie-jie was doing an efficient job of it. Haha, I've a feeling I'd keep guests waiting if I had been the one telling them where they were supposed to sit! Nonetheless, it was a nice experience to be involved in a cousin's wedding.

This was the table we sat at. The restaurant's called Grand Shanghai, with Shanghai as the theme. 5 people are allocated at each of this kind of table, but as you can see, who gives a hoot about regulations?

From left, clockwise: Kenette, Alvin, Alan, Yi Lun, Evon, me, Linda

I like this! It was such a novel experience to attend a wedding like this!

We listened to Chinese oldies the whole night. There was really a nostalgic atmosphere to the whole place, just what I love! It's too bad that it didn't occur to me to take photos of the singer. =)

That night, it was photos galore! But if u wanna see us more close up, the photos are in my yahoo photo album! =) Here's one of me with my niece:

This is my niece. She's Accalia, and 9 this year, but I can never remember that she is actually this age. My impression is that she'll always be 3 yrs old! Haha, time passes very fast. 9 years just zooooomed past like that!

Do you know, I never knew I had a grand-niece (or great-grand-niece or whatever the relationship is called) until that night? I'm not entirely sure of how far ahead in the generation ladder I am from her, but she's my mother's sister-in-law's sister's grand-daughter. My mother is her great-grandaunt, so what does that make me?

This is Sammi, my Grand-niece. She's 8 this year, and can you imagine? For 8 years I never knew I had a grand niece! I feel so old now!

The next day, Linda went out with Serene and me. We went to Bugis Street to shop. Haha, I know.. this is about the 2nd or 3rd time in 2 weeks you've heard me going to Bugis, but, you don't hear me complaining! Wow... We walked till our legs hurt! But as there was entertainment in the form of girls' best friends (clothes), I'm not complaining! Haha... Forgot to take pictures though... so sad!

And the next day, Linda and I went to walk around at the City Hall area. We went to Citylink, the Esplanade, and Suntec City, after which we went to Orchard Road to look at Christmas decorations. Again, I walked till my legs hurt up to my knees. And get this: I was wearing sports shoes this time. Haha! =) It was fun though, to go out and walk around with cousins. We asked Von, Lun, Alvin and Alan along, but only Alvin and Alan could make it. Ah well, some other time, then... =)

This was taken at the Esplanade, one of the display pieces. It looks so quaint! Hee..

The last day Linda was here, which was yesterday, we went to Sentosa. This time, Lun and Alvin couldn't make it, so Alan, Linda, Von and I went together. Yah... I know, you must be thinking that Sentosa is quite a boring place. Well, that's what we thought too, but I guess boredom is how one perceives things to be. To be honest, there was not a single dull moment during our trip to Sentosa, which was GREAT! We rode the newly opened Sentosa Luge, played at the Children's Playground, at the beach, went to the southernmost point of the Asia continent, and basically walked around alot.

This is the Children's playground. Haha, isn't it interesting? It's a see-saw come merry-go-round. We- or rather, I- were like young children again, playing on this contraption. =)

This is the Sentosa Luge! We went up by a chairlift, and we went down by these. We went down at such high speeds it was quite scary, but very exhilarating! I feel like going one more time!!

Tada! The Enchanted Grove of Tembusu in which resides 4 human-like elves among the magical toadstools which spring up at midnight! =)

And after that, we headed for home. Whew! By then my feet were about to fall out of their sockets, what with 3 consecutive days of walking, walking and more walking! But even though my legs were sooooo tired, I still feel that this past 3 days was spent very fruitfully. Catching up with family, and attending and getting involved in a wedding has been very fun! It's so sad that we will have to wait one more year to have a gathering of this scale again. Heopfully by then, more cousins will be together and we can have even more fun! =)

Tagged? Me?

Haha, Hurul, I read your blog, and while I'm still not clear about what it really means or what I really have to do, I shall just try it out. Haha... =)

Ok for the game "Tag", this is what you have to do....

1. post 5 weird/random stuff abt yourself
2. at the end, list the names of 5 ppl who you want next to this and leave a comment "YOU ARE TAGGED" in their blogs and tell them to read your blog for rules!

(i) My sisters and I used to play this game where we would be 'magic princesses' out to save the world. I would always be the first to be struck dead. Why me? Well.. I felt being dead was like sleeping, and I wanted to sleep. So what better excuse to sleep while playing? =)

(ii) I talk in my sleep.

(iii) I like to read and watch impossibly romantic and impractical story plots. I know they are senseless and totally illogical, but they just fill me with such a sense of wellbeing that is just so addictive. Haha, I'm a sucker for romance.

(iv) I collect lyrics.

(v) I like watermelons and dogs.

Hmm, hope that's random enough- well, at least the last one was. Hehe, it's quite hard to think of 5 random facts about myself offhand, but for the fun of it, here they are.

The next 5 people to be tagged are:

Bernice jie-jie
Alan
Evon
Merrilyn
Yan Fang

Great Shopping Today

Went to Bugis to shop with Jiun Pey today. Haha, unexpectedly, we only took a mere 4 hours to finish shopping in the whole of Bugis. I have no idea if it time passed too slowly or if we had shopped too fast, but it was only 4 hours! The last time both of us and Jieting went shopping at Bugis, we took the whole day and we did not even manage to walk the whole of it! And now Bugis Street has expanded! Wow. Then again, I don't think we shopped too fast, 'cos we went into every shop! Jiun Pey's theory is that the other day, we had spent time bargaining for our, well, bargains, with the help of Jieting. Haha... =)

We felt that our trip out today wasn't justified in that we had only spent 4 hours out when we had planned to spend the whole day out, so we went to all kinds of places to walk. In the end, we went to the Guan Yin Temple at Waterloo Street (was it Waterloo St ah, JP?) to offer our prayers. It was only then that we realised today is the first day of the lunar month (the 10th lunar month if I'm not wrong...). JP bought a lotus to offer to Guan Yin, and we went in to squeeze with the other devotees. Man, there were SOOO many people! One lady even got burnt by the joss sticks, but of course, because they were in a temple, she just had to forgive and forget. I could tell from her face that she wasn't very happy (but then again, who would be happy at being burnt?). Anyway, I digress. We didn't really know what to do, so we had to follow the examples of the other devotees at the temple. One interesting thing I noticed was that we were the only people from our generation in the temple. Haha... It was... weird, but I think it was memorable. Haha, I think in the future when I think of JP and Bugis, I'll think of this memorable trip, the same way when I think of Muh and Jiarong I think of the trip to Changi Airport where we walked from East Coast beach to the airport. Memories!! =)

Haha, great trip!

I love this decadent lifestyle!

It's a decadent lifestyle I've been living the past few days since the end of exams, and I'M LOVIN' IT! Been going out almost everyday with great company, and watching vcds. Only sad thing though, is that money has been leaking out of my pockets like nobody's business. Wish there was an endless supply of that resource.... -_-"

Just watched 4 vcds of "The Rose" by SHE, Huang Zhi Wei and the other actors (I can't remember their names) yesterday. Haha, barely halfway through the series though, but yesterday was pure blissful laziness. Just holed myself up in my parents' rooms and watched vcds. When I got sleepy, I slept. Woke up again to continue watching. Muahahahaha. Then I left to meet Yi Lun to watch "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire". I think it's the best one of the Harry Potter movies so far. The dragon scene was so exciting! I'm glad they played it up. The Quidditch World Cup was a little disappointing though, 'cos I was looking forward to watching them play Quidditch. Nonetheless, the entrance of the players was dramatic, and Krum got a welcome befitting his status as the World's Best Seeker. =) I think Emma Watson's behaviour was a little over the top though, 'cos she was mostly rather agitated during Moody's lesson of the Unforgivable Curses. Hmm... the impression I got from the book was more of Hermione being herself as usual, just giving the answers in a matter-of-fact way. Didn't really expect her reaction. But then again, a movie is different from a book, isn't it? The plot was changed quite a bit, but I must say, the change in plot didn't disrupt the flow of the movie. Great! Haha, wish there were more scenes of Cedric Diggory though. He's rather good looking. ;) I highly recommend this movie to anyone who hasn't watched it. =)

Guess today marks the end of my decadent lifestyle. Meetings are starting, and so are trainings. I hope these won't clash with each other or make my hols so packed I can't continue with my current life! Haha, I'm enjoying it too much to wanna let it go! =D

Freedom!

Yay! In just 6 hours' time, freedom will arrive! For now, I shall just have to endure the wait, filling the time with revisions. I do hope the paper will be easy today, and that the questions that come out will be things that I know how to answer. Dun wanna have to repeat this paper- or any of the other papers for that matter- again.

Yesterday evening was fun! Went with Serene to Crystal Jade La Mian Xiao Long Bao for dinner at Jurong Point, then we went to walk walk awhile. No regrets eating at Crystal Jade man... The Xiao Long Bao was heavenly! And then there was this pastry like thing with radish inside. Man... It was soooo soft. Then we shared a bowl of Sichuan La Mian. It was a nice experience eating it, though I think it doesn't quite suit my tastebuds. Nonetheless, the taste was unique, and the texture of the noodles was smooth. Nice. Great recommendation, Serene! =) Shall go there with Von and Lun on Sunday. The meal was quite affordable in all. Less than $15! Much cheaper than I expected it to be, it being at Crystal Jade and all... Haha, and it was fun going out with Serene. Found the skirt that I've been looking for! Alas, it's in JP and costs $33!! I'm going to Far East to see if I can find that skirt there. There's one problem now though. How do I match that skirt? It looks quite hard to match. Shall find a picture of it and post it up for u all to see... soon. =)

Congratulations!

Haha, it's a day for celebrations. It's Evon's last paper tomorrow, and guess what? She's accepted into the Vet course at Massey University, New Zealand! Yay!! Of course, she'll have to get through the first sem there to qualify, but I have confidence in her lar.

The only thing I'm sad about is that she'll be leaving Singapore, then I won't be able to se her. I shall miss her. It's not the same as living in Singapore but on the other side of the island. This time, it's across the ocean, almost halfway round the world (is it? Oh well, even if it isn't, it feels like it). That time when I first moved into the NTU hostel I was quite homesick. Bet it'll feel worse for Evon. But then again, she was always more independent.

Anyway, we'll take things one step at a time. I hope the days won't fly too fast, and the hols won't be so busy till we can't spend enough time together. AND I hope my parents don't book the air tickets for Evon to fly off on a friggin' weekday. THEN I'll be forced to pon school, which is very troublesome you know, having to come back from hostel and all that.... And this time, my father won't be sending me back to hall 'cos he'll be going there with Evon first, for her to get used to the surroundings there first.

Ok, back to sleep.

What does my Birthdate Mean?

Your Birthdate: February 20

You are a virtual roller coaster of emotions, and most people enjoy the ride. Your mood tends to set the tone of the room, and when you're happy, this is a good thing. When you get in a dark mood, watch out - it's very hard to get you out of it. It's sometimes hard for you to cheer up, and your gloom can be contagious. Your strength: Your warm heart Your weakness: Trouble controlling your emotions Your power color: Black Your power symbol: Musical note Your power month: February

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Talking online

Haha, how amazing technology is. I'm now in my room, and Evon is just a shout away, but guess what? We are MSN-ing each other. =D How weird is that? The wonders of technology.

I was just thinking: is there a way of preventing someone from learning to use the computer when the person really wants to learn it? Take my houseguest for example. Her father refuses to let her learn (much less use) the computer for fear that she'll learn bad things online. Thing is, she is SO tempted by the Neopets games Von and Lun play online. And when she asked how to start the game, as much as we wanted to, we could not teach her. Well, she then turned around and just started clicking on anything on the screen- yep, you got it. She clicked on the white empty space on the screen too, and tried to move the pictures. Anyway, back to my story. She finally managed to start a game, and proceeded to play it with gusto. Without any of our helps. So, is there any way of not teaching a person how to use a computer?

Frankly, I think she should be taught how to operate a computer. After all, when she starts going to school, it would become a necessity to know how to at least use Microsoft Office. On the other hand, she is unable to control herself. While we would wanna teach her how to use Microsoft Office for her future survival in Singapore education, there is no doubt in our minds that her primary interest would be to learn how to use the Internet to play games. And woe to us the day she discovers online gaming. NOT Neopets, mind you, but Maplestory and other games (Just a question: is Counterstrike an online game or LAN game? And what's the difference?). Oh wow. I can just feel shivers down my spine.

Not that she's as bad as I've led y'all to think. I think she's just innocent, though she acts and thinks of herself as worldly. Been there, done that. Yah right. One thing good bout her is that she doesn't hold grudges, and she's... endearing in her own way, though sometimes she does get a tad annoying. Or maybe it's 'cos it's been 7 years since I was 12 and I can't really remember what I was like when I was her age?

I'm thinking perhaps the last reason is the reason why we're not quite able to adapt to her. No wonder sometimes we wonder why our parents don't understand how we feel. NOW I know, and I can hardly blame them. They have been away from our ages for, what, 20-odd years, while I'm only 7 years away from 12, and I can't really adapt to the 12 year-old mentality. This is food for thought. Oh, yah, and I guess this is also the reason why some adults speak to us in that irritatingly patronizing way. They can't remember their way of thinking when they were our age, that's my guess.

Yep. It's all speculation on my part, but... I think it makes sense- don't you think?

And for the NUS students taking their exams, ALL THE BEST!! =)

Oh yah, and I think studying for exams has made my butt big. I have butt cramps now. How do u relieve them? *cheeky smile*

Are we all conformists?

Haha, nothing special to talk about, just that I think I'm quite wasting my time today. Can you imagine spending like 1 and a half days reading an essay about state apparatuses that are so ultimately depressing?!?! The essay was rather depressing. I mean, can your believe that even before we are born, we have already been subscribed into a particular ideology?

Althusser says that we individuals are always-already subjects- that is, we are ever ready to subscribe to an ideology. There is family ideology, religious ideology, political ideology, etc. Our responses to anything that is presented to us already proves that we are responding to its ideology. Even when there's no response, we also subscribe to it, because in a warped sense, we ARE responding to it. Even while we are fetuses, we have already been given an identity that makes us irreplaceable on this earth and society- our names and our family background. Thus, this makes us subjects of a particular ideology.

Why am I a little depressed by this essay? Well, firstly, it is a DIFFICULT essay to understand. I don't understand why he has to have so many long sentences with so much grammar inside. Makes it all the more confusing. And I never did understand writers' fascination with "not unlike" and "not uncommon". Why can't they just use the words "like" and "common"? Makes passages much easier to understand. Granted, I know that some sentences sound much nicer with these troublesome words, but... don't you think that it's so much easier to understand the simpler words?! JUST GET TO THE POINT!!

Secondly, it brings forth the realisation that we actually have NO human rights. Whatever rights and control we always thought we had over our lives was nothing but an illusion, to give us a false sense of control over our destiny and life. Well, this essay simply subverts whatever we- or rather, I- thought about our lives and the control we have over it. It's depressing, isn't it? That we already have to conform to certain social expectations. Even when we think we are bucking the system, according to Althusser, we are merely departing from one ideology and subscribing to another. That means, no matter what anyone says about being a non-conformist, that person is still conforming to another ideology of not conforming. Yah, it sounds familiar, doesn't it? The paradoxical saying of "Non-conformists are also conformists".

I don't like to think that all my actions have already been decided by a particular ideology, no matter how much of a follower I am. It's a kind of human arrogance, I guess, a kind of blow to the human arrogance that we aren't that independent and controlled as we think we are.

Humph. What do you think?

CRAP

By right, I should be happy that HP200 is over and I can spend the next 5-6 days languishing at home and studying for that last paper. But by left, I realise I had brought the wrong FREAKING file home. So now I have to go back to hall to bring back that file. CRAP. Sometimes I amaze myself with my stupidity.

3 Down, 2 More to Go

And yes, and still counting, with both anticipation and trepidation. Monday's paper was... shall we say, disappointing, coz I forgot how to do the questions, and what the heck's the difference between total differential and total derivative anyway?! Tuesday's... and that's today's paper was... kinder to me than HP101, but how well I do would be, of course, a whole different kettle of fish. Especially when I found myself dreaming of Statistical formulae yesterday night and explaining it to *GASP* a LIZARD!! Oh man... What logic is this... everyone's laughing at me for dreaming bout it- no, not the stats part, the explaining it all to a lizard part. Particularly when I absolutely HATE lizards.

Back at home AGAIN, though this time, it's NOT my doing. It's the Hall 6 admin's fault this time. Of all the times, they just had to decide that the exam week is a good time to repair the leak in the toilet. Yah. When the leak has been going on for the past, what, few months? The repair of the leak has resulted in power failure for the whole floor on my block, and when it feels like it, the whole hall. So there's no choice but for me to go home to study in peace. Ah, home sweet home. Nonetheless, I don't really think the next few days leading up to Friday will be anything but sweet. I still have to study Sadistics (Statistics, to be precise), which I haven't started yet. Yes, the sweet irony of it all. Don't have time to study but have time to blog. Don't I just love being human. Poor Serene though, tomorrow's her paper and the blackout just has to happen the day before. What a great way to calm one's nerves. -_-" Serene, if you read this, I hope our paper went well for you and the questions were darn easy!! =)

Anyway, I'm sleepy but wishing I was more awake. I'm wanting to slack but wishing I was more hardworking. Yah. It's an irony all right. Just hope HP200 on Friday will be full of easy computations....

1 Down, 4 to Go

Yep, and it sounds so darn easy. I just wish it was. Wed was a disastrous paper, and totally disillusioning for the rest of my papers. Now I can't help but wonder how the rest of my papers are gonna be like, but there's no use worrying and wondering, is there? I shall just have to try my best for the other papers.

Back in hall on Sunday night- a first for me I must say, and I do confess that I feel SO reluctant to come back here after staying at home the past few days. Home is just too comfortable. =) Can't wait for exams to be over, then I can stay at home... But something tells me I shouldn't be too happy yet. Oh well, nonetheless, it doesn hurt to dream some, right?

Reached some sort of impasse with my new tenant, Wang Kun AKA Angel. She's been a right monster until yesterday when she got into trouble with her father the day before for not doing her homework and learning English. To get into detail with what she did, well... I shall tell you some other day. I'm taking a break from Basic Maths for Economists for the moment. I swear, my head's near to bursting from all these stuff. I just hope the paper will be kind enough to me tomorrow. *crosses fingers*

Tomorrow

Tomorrow shall mark my first foray into University Exams. Wow, am I so excited for it. -_-" I do hope I'll be able to remember the definitions and the theories... It will be soooo "The End" for me if I can't remember. I hope Biopsych comes out tomorrow, coz I'm gonna study harder for it. And... I dunno what other topics, but hopefully they'll be the ones I studied for!

On a MUCH more positive note, tomorrow marks the day when the occupants of Hall 6, Block 35, Unit No 3-664 can eat meals other than those offered by the canteens in NTU!! YAY! There'll be hotdogs and ham, toasted bread, and... my darling roommate Serene's ingenious idea, PIZZA BREAD!! Oh yah, and now it's possible to have otah on bread. Oh goodness! I'm salivating at the thought of it. And now I don't have to worry that my heavy breakfast prior to an afternoon paper will have to come from one of the canteens! =D

I'm so hungry just thinking of it. And now I'm off to dinner. Wish me luck for my exams!! =)

Countdown

Im beginning to feel a vague sense of panic yet again. I was just doing the planning of my revision, and I realised that there isn enough time for me to complete my revision for statistics. This means that I have to quicken my revision throughout for all modules, which means that I have to forgo taking notes. Omg. How did things come to this stage?!

It's now countdown to the various papers. How crappy is this: the main papers are lumped together, while the Cinematic Pleasures paper is one week after everything. Great. Just when that is the elective that doesn't require so much mugging. Why couldn't they have put HP200 a bit later?!

Study Week

So here I am, in the NTU hostel, Hall 6, mugging for the coming exams, hoping and hoping and praying hard that I can create another miracle like I did for mid-term tests. Well, I do hope I can do well, and make my family proud of me. =) However, I must admit that I'm rather sick of studying already. Sick of Intro to Psych already, even though it's been a very interesting course. I just don't know what I'm making notes for. It's not as if I'm gonna read through them after this sem, and I sure as hell don't think that I can read thru them a second time. So what am I making them so colourful for?

Well, I guess this serves as a reminder to myself that I should make notes earlier next time, but how?!? There are so many things to do! Oh man...

And now I'm faced with a challenge: Trying to keep my eyes open. Should I sleep or shouldn't I?

Inspiration

WOW! I went down to the reservoir to watch the Wakeboarding Championships yesterday. COOL! The stunts the competitors executed were nothing short of spectacular. There were triple somersaults executed by the champion- Philip (something.. think it was Goldberg), glides on some thin platform. Wonderful. Watching them wakeboarding gave me a sudden urge to go learn it too. But like Yi Lun said, the most we can hope to do is to hold on to the rope. At the very most we could hope to move and change directions. To hope to be able to somersault and land on my feet would be too much to ask for. I hope the C'ships will be held at Bedok Reservoir again next year!! =)

The performance by the Stars from Florida were spectacular too. There was ballet on the skis, acrobatic stunts where the guy held the woman aloft and she balanced on his shoulders, or he used one hand to support her while she moved gracefully, and there was this 4-man thing where all of them somersaulted off the ramp at the same time.. helicopter jumps... WHOA! FANTASTIC! It was a real eye-opener... =)

Maybe I might consider taking it up... One day.... Anyone got any lobangs? ;)

Wakeboarding Championships is here again!

It's the Wakeboarding Championships again! It's being held at Bedok Reservoir, just directly in front of my house. I have a vantage view of the reservoir from my living room and my parents' room, but, oh, how sad that I can't stand there for extended periods of time to watch the competition. Come to think of it, it was the same thing last year. It was around the same time, but it was the time when I had to prepare for As. So.. yah, it's self-explanatory, isn't it?

Anyway, wakeboarding looks quite cool. All the somersaulting on the water. It's a l'il like water-skiiing, but more extreme, isn't it? Cool. I suppose these competitors are the best their countries have to offer, and it's quite heartbreaking to see them executing their amazing somersaults and other stunts only to land on their backs in the water and having to restart it all over again. But then again, in competitions, I suppose one has to get used to failures and losing and having the courage to start all over again. They have to have strong determination to learn from their mistakes and simultaneously forget what happened the last time and compete once again. Amazing.

I think athletes are quite remarkable people. Not only do they have to keep their bodies in top shape, they have to keep themselves mentally alert and fit as well, and condition themselves to forget about the audience or ignore the pressure they are feeling at important competitions. It's quite a hard task to ignore the pressure and just focus on doing well. On top of that, they have to strategise on the spot. I think most of us have had experiences in doing that during exams. However, exams is just between the exams and the individual. In competitions, it's the competition, the competitor, the individual and the audience. People are watching the individual. It all boils down to how strong one's mind is to resist the pressure to succumb and keep one's mind clear. Whoever said jocks are brainless?

It's amazing how at one moment, something can look so promising and just crash around your ears the next moment. One moment ago, I was elated at the possibility of finishing off the project. The next, news came that we had to do one more. Now, we are so so so near to the completion of the current one, but we are short of a paragraph. Kinda reminds me of what Yi Lun said last time "Life is not perfect". Coz they were making a puzzle for her teacher, and they happened to lose a piece. They thot of that reason to tell the teacher when they gave it to her. Haha..

And of course, not helping things is MSN, which is cutting off communication between my groupmates and me. What a life.

Kudos to my group mates though. Haha, IF we manage to finish this sometime tonight, it's one milestone we've crossed. All of them played big roles in bringing the whole proj to actuality, and I know there have been times when we felt damn frustrated, but FINALLY, the proj will be done. Soon.

This is my latest favourite song. It's Daniel Chan's 心有独钟... Such a sweet song!! *swoons*

I see the light..... REALLY

YES! I can really see the light at the end of the tunnel now! I know last week's one was a false alarm, but I am SURE this time it's true! The report's OK already! YES! Haha, finally, no more late nights or early mornings trying to get the report right, and no more agonising over whether the phrasing's right, or if the paragraphs are too lengthy. WONDERFUL! Haha.. It felt like a load off my shoulders just now when Mario didn't have any more to add to our report. Hmm.. But of course, that's not to say he's gonna give us high marks....

Tomorrow's the Math test. Oh man, I hope I do decently this time, otherwise can you imagine how embarrassing it would be that I got full marks the last time but failed or did badly the second time? I gotta confess, this is not merely about doing well- it's also about the widely talked-about "face". Yah... Shallow as it sounds, that's what I'm bothering about. I hope time passes faster so I can get the chose over and done with. THEN I can get back to reading my other texts which I have temporarily given up in lieu of the coming test. I wonder if this is worth it.

Stupidity

Don't wanna go back to sch Don't wanna go back to sch Don't wanna go back to sch Don't wanna go back to sch Don't wanna go back to sch!!!!

I am school-sick. Sick of school. Sick of doing work. Sick of doing stupid things that kill my stupid brain cells. Sick of reading stupid things that my stupid brain cells won't be able to stupidly process, thus making me look stupid reading the stupid textbook.

If you are still reading this, you must be thinking, "What a stupid fool to write such a stupid entry that stupidly makes no stupid sense." Oh well, you are probably right...

Ever thought how the word "stupid" sounds like a pig? It sounds so fat and squashy and if I picture the word in my mind's eye, I can just about see the snout of the word. Weird. Of course, that's not saying that pigs are synonymous with stupidity. Some ppl would kill me for saying that. I'm just saying the look of the word, just like how Daimaru used to look like an accordion to me. There's a term for looking at words as pictures, but I can't remember it. Read about it awhile ago. My hippocampus must be chock-full of memories already. -_-" What utter rubbish.

Finally finished studying for HE103- Basic Maths for Economists, but the aftereffects of studying it make me feel like I didn't actually study it. Don't understand what the book is saying- well, maybe I did.. at least I THINK I understood it better than during the lecture especially with my lecture notes in such bad shape. Maybe I shouldn't bother about saving ink for pdf files since they all come out looking like **** (fill in whatever words you think are suitable). Now I'm left with trying to refine the discussions section, and re watching Modern Times. I hope there's enough time, what with us going out for dinner later and me spending the next 15 minutes or so typing this entry. Don't think I'll be able to pull another miraculous full marks this time, though I'm crossing my fingers that the paper will be easy enough for me to do respectably well. I'm not hoping for full marks, though it sure would be nice if I did... ;)

Can't wait for exams to end, then I'll be free!! No need to go to school and bust my brain cells. It sooo doesn help that Yi Lun has finished her papers and will be relaxing already and that my family is in Bedok while I'm all the way across the island! Oh well, as good as the holidays seem to be, I think I'll have to go back to join in some camp or trip planning... and I did just agree to join the hall vball team. What a joke. I haven't been playing vball for about a year already. Wonder if I can still run and jump. And I dunno where Yi Lun has put the knee guards. Hah, will I even make the team I wonder.

OK, in case you are thinking of going to get a gun to shoot me for being in such a melancholic and utterly histrionic mood, save yourself the effort, darlings. I've finished my ramblings.

Haha, check out Evon's blog at http://yifang-sama.blogspot.com . There's a wonderful analogy on studying. Since I can't tag on her board, I shall just mention it here:

Von! I did hear it's hard to enter the Land of Mugging. I myself have been kicked out a few times for lacking the quality "Lack of Concentration". But I heard some people actually can gain citizenship into that land, simply coz they have the following qualities:

1) Unlimited source of Brainpower
2) Unlimited source of Concentration and the Ability to Prioritise.
3) Knowledge of Harnessing the Energy to Keep oneself Disciplined.

Oh well, as you can see, I lack most of this, so the most I can get is a PR. Well, that is if I do actually can bring myself to study without getting distracted lar. On normal days, think if I can get a visitor's pass it would be not bad already.

Do the rest of you agree with her blog? I also particularly liked the way she personified the printer. Haha, her blog is entertaining. Go read it! =)

Oh, I have changed my tagboard already! Hopefully this time Cbox will be nice to me and stop giving problems!! =)

I'm bored. And sick of studying. And there's another Basic Maths for Economists test next week. I have this feeling that I won't be able to create another miracle this time.. the topics that will be tested are topics which i have absolutely NO confidence in. Crap. Cant even bring myself to study it now.... Yah, guess I'm like an ostrich. haha..

Today is the first day I watch a movie that seriously made me throw up. It DID! The movie's called "Tarnation", and I think it's a documentary if I'm not wrong. It looked like it was taken solely from a handheld camera, so the pictures were jerky... to make things worse, pictures were flashed at such speeds, and the pictures were in black and white! Think it can be compared to "The Blair Witch Project" (I initially wanted to watch it sometime during the holidays, but if it's gonna be anything like "Tarnation", I think I better skip it). Oh yes, pictures were moving fast, and the music was irritating. Punk rock with some heavy metal. -_-" The movie felt like it took FOREVER to end. An hour into the movie I couldn tahan already. Left the LT to the toilet. No prizes for guessing what I did there....

I hope NEVER to watch another movie like this again.

I see the light.....

I'm beginning to see the light, as 21st Oct draws nearer. Nope, not exams, if you are wondering, but the report. Haha, it's starting to disturb me quite a bit. You know, like an axe over the head? Come 21st, it'll be gone! Though I hope the report goes fine, and of course I'll continue to do my best for it, I shall be glad to see the back of it. Unfortunately, this won't be the end of reports. I foresee more coming in the semesters to come.

Oh well. I still feel a sense of achievement though, coz I finished compiling the different reports already! Yay! Still left with Pony's though, but that will soon be done come tomorrow. Right now, I wish I could greet my bed with enthusiasm, but I can't. I gotta do my HP101 tutorial. And I did promise Papa I'd try to study the Psych and other stuff another time, so... yah. I'll try my best. Really!

Ok, I'm done with the little break here. Going to carry on with my *groans* work.

The rest of you, I hope you are having fun! =)

GOOD LUCK!!

Today has been a tired but fruitful day. Slept at 4am this morning trying to do the HP102 report (yep, the one you all read of me whining on and on about it), then off to tutorials and especially the Basic Maths for Economists tutorials. Oh my god. I thought going for the tutorial would help ease my doubts about that chapt. BOY was I ever so wrong. I ended up as blur as I was last wk. -_-"

Anyway, I went for Project Bridge at 430pm. Project Bridge is a place and a programme set up for early school-leavers between the ages of 13-18. It aims to help the school-leavers in finding a job, or helping those who are still keen on getting an education get back into schools. They also target those students who are in dange of leaving school- these are the students that we are helping. We coach them in mainly Maths and Science. I think this is a worthwhile cause, and.. hmm, though I may not be joining rotaract next year, I still feel like going back there to volunteer. Haha. I was apprehensive about teaching there at first, maybe 'cos I was doubtful of my teaching abilities, and the students' behaviours, but after 2 sessions teaching there, I feel a lil more confident bout teaching them, though I think my teaching has to be improved on. *sheepish smile* Contrary to what some may think about these potential school-leavers, they are actually quite keen to learn and get good grades. They may be from the Normal stream, but they are quite smart you know. =)

I taught a guy called Yazid today. Tomorrow's his N-Levels Maths Paper 2, and I was coaching him. I hope he remembers what I taught him today man. There wasn't enough time to cover everything, and I think he started his revision very very late, so the most I could do was to help him refresh his memory on factorisation etc. Not enough time to do Trigo, though, which I think is quite dangerous, coz Trigo is an important topic, as we all know. =S He was quite encouraging too. Haha, when I said I can't draw for nuts, he said "You can do it!" in Malay (I can't remember what the words are in Malay, but there you have it). He was also quite willing to teach me Malay, like Dino. Haha... I think it was only towards the end that we started to feel comfortable in each other's presence. =) They are all very friendly, and were very open about their thoughts and their work, even explaining their art pieces to us. I hope they do well for their N-Levels and proceed on to Os and then to Poly and wherever it is that they wanna go to. =) It's amazing to know that just a few hours with them could make me feel like that, really. That's why I wouldn't mind going back there to teach. I think it's a worthwhile cause. =D

Ok, 'nuff said. I gtg back to do the Discussions section again. Haha, I'm sooo not gonna sleep at 4am today... gonna slp as soon as my hair is dry. ;)

Writer's Block

I hate writer's block. They always leave me with a sense of inadequacy and helplessness. Well, I sometimes find that the way around writer's block is to write about it. So here I am, trying to damndest to dissolve this meaningless wall that's standing between me and my sleep.

One thing that came to mind while thinking about writer's block: What do you do when you meet a wall? Do you
a) dig a hole under it, or
b) try to walk around it?

I think there have been many theories surrounding this question, especially theories surrounding the personalities of those who choose either one of the options. If my memory serves me right, walking around the wall seems to reflect a go-getter attitude, showing initiative blah blah blah, while the digging hole one seems to reflect a stubborn stick in the mud who insists on doing things the hard way. Well. Which are you? Personally, I don't think either one is good. What if the wall goes on forever? Is a person gonna walk the whole length of it forever? What if the underside of the wall is concrete? Is the person gonna try to dig up the concrete bit by bit? Oh well, maybe I'm just reading too much into it again. Or maybe I'm just in a bitchy mood these days.

What is it that I'm doing that gave me a writer's block? Well, I'm trying to do my part of the HP102 report, since I was mostly playing a fool on Friday during our discussion. Ironically, or not, the part I volunteered to write on is the "Discussions" section, and now I'm trying to compile Merrilyn and Si Huan's contributions together to try to form a coherent essay. I hope the paragraphs I've done are Ok- I'm left with one important part, and I don't know how to put all of it together! It's something lurking at the back of my mind, and keeps sliding out of my grasp each time I try to put a finger (or a fist, depending on whether you wanna be literal) to (or around, again, depending on whether you wanna be literal) it. It has something to do with the inconsistency of the researchers (us) when briefing and debriefing the participants, and the timing of the timers, and the scoring of the scorers. And something about the stress given to the participants. They somehow seem to fit in as one point, but I can't seem to be able to come up with a suitable beginning sentence. Argh. I don't want to leave this till the week, though, cos it would be hanging over me until I finished, and goodness knows how behind I am in my work. I haven't completed my Maths homework yet, and I haven't even read the lecture notes of it yet. That aside, there is my readings to be done this week. This is a major thing, and I don't wanna give it less than my full attention. After all, 5 people's grades are on the line here, including my own. If I'm gonna try for the exchange prog in Year 3, I better make sure I do a good job of this. And also not let my groupmates down. And also not be a sleeping member in the group. It's not a nice feeling to be a sleeping member, I realise.......

OK. Going to drink chicken soup and going back to the grind! Wish me luck! =)

Deaths

It seems like there is always someone we know dying these days. Just on Thursday I received news from my father that my granduncle, who had been suffering from liver cancer, had passed away that afternoon. I was also told that Yi Lun's friend's father, who had also been suffering from Hepatitis B, had passed away that same afternoon, though 2 hours later. He had slipped into a coma 2 days before and passed away while still in one. Then last week (I think), I read on Alan's blog that his junior had passed away. He had died of heart cancer. Why are so many people dying now? I was expecting my granduncle to leave us anytime, but I was still sad upon receiving the news. Though I wasn't close to him, his departure just feels too close to home. Yi Lun's friend... I was feeling shocked and sad. I was hoping that he would recover gradually and live on a few more years. Alas, that was not to be. His death was rather sad for me coz I guess I could just imagine how I would feel if I were in Yi Lun's friend's shoes. Granted, his departure was expected by his family members and they were mentally prepared, but somehow, I believe that no matter how prepared one is for the demise of a family member, the event would still be equally heart-wrenching. After all, death is irreversible. No amount of calling or screaming will make the person come back to life. I think, if I were to be in Lun's friend's shoes, I'd be absolutely devastated. I can't bear to think how I would carry on with life. Just losing Peke last year made me cry at odd times. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose one of my family members. I don't think the pain can ever be assuaged. True, people have to go sometime, but I sometimes wish we could live forever. Perhaps I sound dramatic, but... well, today just made me think about how insignificant life is, particularly when I witnessed the cremation of my granduncle.

We went to the Mandai Crematorium and Columbarium to witness his cremation. As I walked around his coffin during his last rites, I was just wondering, we live for about 70 or so years, contributing in whatever way we can, or just simply surviving, only to end up as ashes in urns after that. Why do we even bother to waste time thinking about how to hurt others and do harm to them? Life's just too short to actually do them. I'm not trying to say that I'm perfect- cos I'm definitely not, nor am I trying to be philosophical and moralistic here, but don't you think it would be nice if everyone just made proper use of their time while living to make this a better place? An idealistic plan I guess... And perhaps I'm merely building impossible castles in the air, but I'd like to think at least I'm treasuring the people who matter to me the most and making a difference in THEIR lives- my family. Making the world a better place doesn't mean one has to great things. I just think as long as they make the world of their loved ones a better place, that is as good as anything can get.

Another thing that bothered me about death and funerals was the way the procedure was made so... mechanical, so commodified, so capitalistic, and so... cold. The undertakers were doing their job just as a means to an end- that is to be expected, I guess, since the only reason why they are undertakers is because there is a demand for their services. The body they were supposed to be taking care of was just that- just another body that had to be taken care of. The rites were conducted for their procedures rather than a feeling, I felt. Like it had to be done right. Instructions were called out by the assistant of the monk (yes, you heard right. Assistants) to us, and we were expected to follow it. The whole funeral procedure was just another assignment the undertakers had undertaken. Even before the rites had been completed (to transfer the coffin from the funeral parlour to the van), the assistant was already taking out the notice of my granduncle's death from the door of the funeral parlour. Slowly but surely, every trace of a funeral having been held there was erased. It was kind of symbolic, I guess, to symbolise the erasure of my granduncle's existence from the living world after he was cremated. But anyway, I digress. I was talking about the removal of the notice. It was like, "Oh, another funeral ended. Let's finish this off and go on to our next assignment". They couldn't wait for the rites to have finished? Would detaching the notice from the door take several impossible hours to accomplish? Furthermore, as I saw the coffin being pushed into the incinerator (is that what we call it?), it struck me how cold it was. The coffin was being pushed into the incinerator by rails and machines! An efficient and impressive way, no doubt, and a feather in humanity's cap, but.... throughly mechanised and cold.

Observing the funeral was a rather horrifying event to me. Not in the ghostly sense, but rather in a symbolic sense. Humans tend to have a teleological view of themselves, but I think at the end, we are no more significant than others. After all, all we turn into is ash in the end, not gold. In Gothic literature, we are always reading about characters who face the horror of losing their identity, but in the end, that is what happens to us. We become just another body that another profits from.

Perhaps I'm having these thoughts because of my age. Or perhaps I'm being overdramatic and thinking too much. Or perhaps I'm just getting too carried away by my thoughts and depression over the events. Perhaps I'll come to see death as a homecoming when I grow older. One thing's for sure though. The event I observed today made me realise that man is fallible, and my family's no exception to it either.

Schizophrenic

Look what we got up to yesterday morning when we were supposed to be doing our report for our project (By the way, the authors are Merrilyn, Pony, me, and a guest appearance by Si Huan):

Schizophrenic

SIHUAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am pony pony pony pony pony here… there was a time, wheb ppl said tt Singapore wun make it

BUT WE DIIIIID~~~~~

I found a note my grandma wrote. I was quite surprised as she hadn’t came to my house for a very long time. Sometimes I wonder if she’ll ever get here. Because the last time she was telling us about her encounter with the wolf that wanted to eat her up. Luckily I went there in time to get her out of the wolf’s stomach. It was a terribly difficult operation. I was distracted several times by sihuan and merrilyn and pony who refused to help me be productive. So in the end, a fast operation that only required 1 hour (because all I had to do was kill the wolf) I took 300 days. Seems like that was a very traumatic experience. All that I am saying is starting to make no sense. But at least I knew why my grandma is not coming back anymore. She had died iof starvation and was too disfigueed because of the HCl in the stupid wolf’s stomach. Sihuan started protests on the extermination of the wolf pack. But somehow we always have this feeling that sooner or later, she would be joining in this unethical operation. Guess what my grandma wrote? Let’s be good children and be industrious. But like the naughty children we are, we decided to have our own identity. To follow what grandma says would be conforming. We must have our individuality! YES! Grandma must have passed on as an unhappy, unlucky old maid. But we DON’T CARE. We have to be like all youngsters be, to be rebellious, be in the trend of our individualistic culture.

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What do you think of our story? Does it make sense? I'm afraid it doesn't, otherwise it wouldn't be titled as such. Yep, that's the reason.... Ok, go ahead and faint now, the story's over! =)