Foodie Food!!

Some people might know that I'm quite particular about how my food should taste, so imagine the horror when I realised that my sense of taste has been destroyed temporarily by the current flu bug. My nose has been blocked so much that my ears get blocked. Ahh... But I hate that my sense of taste has gone. Well, not all gone, but enough gone to take away the pleasure of eating nice food. I can taste, but it's at the most muted level of taste. I can feel the bite of chili, the smoothness of well-prepared chicken, and the crispiness of the fried fish, but I can't taste!! I can vaguely guess the basic taste, like whether it's salty or sour, but when I ask myself which part of the food I like, I draw a blank. The worst was yesterday when I was eating chicken rice. Oh man... that was horrid. Absolutely zero taste, except for the bite of chili. Crap.

Well and over the weekend I signed up for the trip to Big Fish Seafood Grill. What wonderful timing it is. At least at that time taste levels were up higher than yesterday's, which meant I could roughly taste, and feel the butteriness of the food. But the real taste of the fish eluded me, which was rather sad, though I think Big Fish can be given a try. The presentation of the food and the taste of the brownies and mashed potatoes have convinced me that their fish should not be too far off the mark, so hopefully I'll be able to make a trip down again when I recover. For those interested in Big Fish, it's at 85 Upper East Coast Road. If you need the contact number, ask me or drop a tag, I'll find it and give you. Haha I'm too lazy to check it now. My wallet's within reach, but I don't feel like reaching out. =p

And then that same night, I went to try the Sarawak Chili Noodles, as recommended by some foodie blogger who was recommended to me by LeRoy, one of the Deli Aprecio Club members. The description sounded good and so tempting- the description of how hot the chili was made me reaaaal tempted to go try it out. But again, I overestimated the recovery of my tastebuds, and was disappointed that I couldn't actually give a proper judgement of the noodles. BUT one thing's for sure, the chili's not very hot. I barely felt the bite. And... the texture of the noodles was rather disappointing, nothing different from other stalls. As for the taste, based on my parents' verdicts, wasn't great either. It made us wonder if we had gone to the wrong stall, but... couldn't be, right? There was a queue! And people around us were eating it happily. Hmmm... Maybe it just didn't suit us. I lost interest in the noodles after awhile, sad to say. Well but if you're looking for value for money noodles, then this stall is the one for you. They give prawns, pork ribs (bah kut), fish cakes and alot of noodles. Rather worth the $3, if you ask me. If you're interested to give the chili mee a try, it's at Golden Mile Food Centre, #01-59 (I think). Or you can visit this website: http://ieatishootipost.blogspot.com/2006/10/chilli-mee-3-gen-sarawak-receipe-golden.html to find out more. Who knows, you might like it! One man's meat is another man's poison, after all. =) If you do try it, tell me!

Ok I've procrastinated long enough... Still haven't finished the first set of Prof Chang's notes. Argh. I wanna sleeppppppppppppppppppppppppp......

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

December Trip to Sarawak

Haha I was unable to think of some witty title, but I suppose the title above explains everything, doesn't it? =) Anyway, I know I've been saying I want to post up my trip to Sarawak, I haven't been able to, 'coz of IHG and my computer being unable to log onto the Internet and Yi Lun needing to use her laptop more urgently than I do.

Well, what can I say? The trip to Sarawak was actually more fun than I expected it to be. I expected life without the Internet and computers to be rather boring. I was rather wrong, as a matter of fact. Life without modern technology can be interesting too. We just had to rely on the age old entertainment- each other.

Yep, it was a good time for the cousins to catch up with each other. It was rather unfortunate that not all the cousins could get together, otherwise the atmosphere would have been more re4 nao4. Together with Alvin, Alan, Penny, Laura, Linda, George and Acalia (that's my niece, but she insists on hanging out with us) we spent the time in Song....

Roaming around. On the left is a picture from a hill in Song. We were on our way to the "town" area, known more commonly as pasar (market place). On the right is an oil barge owned by my uncles. It's a Shell station, and supplies oil to boats. Let me introduce my cousins here: (clockwise from left) Alvin, Alan, Me, George, Acalia, Laura.

Playing Heart Attack and Uno. Yes yes, I know most of you have probably not played these games for a long time, but we played this at the request of George and Acalia. And... frankly, it was quite fun. Heart Attack was so noisy that we had to migrate upstairs to play. Even then, the adults claimed that they could still hear us. -_-"

Eating exotic Sarawak food. This dish is called ban sou. I have no idea what it means, but basically it's Sarawak ferns and wild boar meat put into the hollow tubes of the bamboo and then cooked by fire like a barbecue, as can be seen in the picture on the left. The picture on the right shows what the dish looks like. The dish probably doesn't look appetizing like this, but trust me, it's really good. I love the gravy!! Put it with chili padi and black sauce and it's perfect.

We had dinners of this scale every night for... 3 or 4 nights. It's really a wonder I didn't get fat. Probably coz of all the walking around in Song. And all the dishes were good. Now I know what they meant by Ah Ming's taste. It's the taste I've been looking for in noodles!!

All the cousins slept together for 2 nights, and this was how our sleeping quarters looked:

Of course, we slept in different houses every night, so the surroundings may not look the same, but the arrangements were roughly like that. Haha, Alvin had to become the discipline master where George and Acalia were concerned =p

Entertainment was also provided by George and Acalia:

These 2 photos were taken outside my auntie's house. The supposed jail's a compartment to put the rubbish bin in, but George the smart-ass decided to treat it as his jail. He was the one who came up with this idea and told me to take a photo of him. He readily gave the pitiful face after I told him to act the part. Acalia saw the fun in it and decided to join in too. What good actors those 2 are. Haha, they readily gave the expressions of pity and gloat in the picture on the right. Si Huan, I think you'll like George. He's very cute! And he likes cars. Think the two of you will have alot to talk about. I wouldn't mind having him as my god-brother. However, that's impossible, coz he refused my mother point-blank when she asked him, saying that if he became my mother's god-son, his mother wouldn't have any real children to call her own, coz his 2 sisters are others' god daughters already.

Then came the climax, the reason why we all went back to Malaysia in the first place: my grandmother's birthday!! My grandmother has 8 children, 22 grandchildren and 2 great-grandchildren. However, this time, about half the grandchildren were unable to attend her birthday coz of other engagements. BUT just think of the number of people who were still there. There was hardly any place to stand to take photos! Just imagine if everyone had been present! OMG. Here's a picture of everyone:

This was taken during the photo-taking session. There were so many other groups! Daughters, sons, children with their spouses, with their children, the children all together, and everyone together. It's a wonder my grandmother (second row sitting down, centre) wasn't tired. Haha.

Then came time to blow the birthday cake. Mind you, it was 5kg!! And the sides of the cake were lined with cream shou4 tao2. Do you know how many of them there were?! Let me show you a picture:

Yep, see how big the cake was? It's quite hard to see the shou4 tao2 from here, my apologies. I forgot to take photo of the cake. Silly me. Anyway, Acalia was in charge of leading the birthday song, and I think she did a rather good job. =)

Then a few hours later, was the dinner. It was held in my cousin's compounds, and held about... 30 tables? I can't remember the exact number, but there were tables inside the house and outside it. Here's a picture of the people inside:

Notice the red-colour lantern like things hanging from the ceiling near the lights? That's a big catcher. Quite ingenous, really, it's raffia string bundled together, and then torn into strips, then soaked in oil until it becomes rancid. The raffia strings then become sticky, and thus trap any bugs rude enough to intrude in our dinner.

And at the end of the night, we all took photos again!!

I saw many things in Song which I wouldn't normally see in Singapore, and I was glad that I went down to Song. I just wish my mind was a computer that could upload all that I had seen into this computer to let you all see, but it's impossible, so here are a few more photos of Song:

These are pieces of a wild boar killed early in the morning. We went to the marketplace too late in the morning. If we had gone earlier, we'd have seen the whole body of the dead wild boar carried on sticks into the market. Now, it's been chopped up. But you can still see one of the legs with the fur, can't you?

The animals are hunted by the Ibans, the indigenous people of Song. The Ibans seem to start working at very young ages. At the dinner, some of them looked as young as 5 years old! And they were paid wages of about RM2/hour? Hope I got that figure right...

We went back to Sibu a few days after the dinner, and we visited the market there. It was quite interesting to see their markets, and what caught my interest especially was the way they sold chickens:

I guess it might sound a bit sick to be fascinated by the way chickens are being packaged for slaughter, but it's been a really long time since I've seen live chickens in the market! I remember that was quite commonplace when I was young, about 4 years old? Now all we see in markets are dead frozen chicken. I thought it was cute, the way the chickens were wrapped up like that. I just didn't want to think of the fate that lay in store for them after they were bought. Eeergh.

I went to Miri too! I visited the first oil-rig in Malaysia. It's called The Grand Old Lady.

Beside it is the Science Museum. Cool eh? Doesn't Miri look nice? Below's another picture of the scenery of Miri.

I had a good time in Sarawak. Good food, good company, good scenery... What's not to like? But probably I wouldn't consider staying there long term. Not only would I become too fat, I suppose I like the Internet too much to stay there too long. Hee... Oh, but did I mention? In case you are thinking there are no programmes to watch on TV in Sarawak, you are very very wrong. There are 400 channels for you to choose from, including channels from Middle East! I was rather fascinated when we came across TV channels from Iraq, Egypt and Pakistan. We even managed to receive Al-Jazeera as well. Haha, talk about entertainment.

Yep, I wish I could show you all the photos I took, but it takes too long to upload them. I uploaded them on Multiply though, so you can see them there if you like... =)

Another IHG Gone...

And so the Inter-Hall Games came and went today for the Hall 6 Female Volleyball team. We had reached the Finals, finally able to catch a glimpse of the gold medal, but, alas, it was not meant to be ours. We lost 3-0, a rather bad defeat I feel, considering the scores of the individual sets were nothing to be proud of.

I, for one, played like crap. Oh, the first set started off good. I managed to receive all the balls, and hardly made any mistakes. But at the end of the second set and the beginning of the third set, my smart brain decided to switch off. There was one ball where I just WATCHED the damn ball land in front of me. It wasn't even a fast ball, and I wasn't fast enough to bend down. It wasn't even an ambiguous ball. It was MY ball. Argh. One point down.

If I were to talk about the mistakes I made, it would just bore you all to death. I just wish I was smart enough, alert enough, mentally and physically strong enough to play. Maybe we might have been able to save the points I lost.

Ah well. IHG is over already, and I guess we'll just have to practise harder for next year's. I do hope I'll be able to play for Hall 6 again, coz the teammates are one of the best teammates I've ever had the pleasure of playing with. Though I hardly talked much to any of them, what I liked about the team was that they accepted that everyone was different, but still treated them the same. There was no hierarchy. Reserves weren't looked down upon, and all players were treated equally. Sure, there would be concentration on the main team or perhaps the important players, but I felt that the others were never made to feel as if they didn't belong there. Mistakes weren't scolded at, but taught, and told patiently. We could have had the best players, but the most politics, if there was elitism. But there was none, and that's what I think makes the most comfortable team to play with, and that's the main reason why I like to play for Hall 6, and why I feel so bad that I caused them to lose the valuable points that we needed.

Ah well, let's just hope I can stay back in Hall 6 again, eh? Hopefully next time I'll really be able to make a difference, and also improve. =)

Hiatus etc

Heyheyhey!! So sorry for the long hiatus. Did you think I'd forgotten to reply to the tagboard messages? Haha don't worry, I'll always reply it, just that I've been tied down with meetings and going overseas for holidays (yep, the next post will be about my trip to Sarawak!!). Since that post generated so many messages (yay!), I figure tagging on the tagboard wouldn't really satisfy everything.

I think everyone's born a good person, really, like we are born clean slates, and have to be taught about what goes on in the the world and how to react and cope with it. These reactions and coping strategies may not be the best choices some of the time, and may not seem like behaviour befitting good people, but I think, at the end of the day, these reactions and behaviours are really just the methods that we adopt in order to survive. Some people may find being mean an easier method of getting what they want than being nice, so they just adopt it, and pretty soon, it kinda becomes second nature to be mean.

But another question arises. What makes people adopt the various methods that they adopt? Perhaps it's the environment? But some might also question how some people manage to grow up unaffected by their environments. Genetics? How would you explain some people with good genes to turn out bad? Perhaps, like what the textbook always says, there's a balance between the two. And personally, I agree, but I also think relying only on genetics and the environment seems to mean that the person is really just a product of other factors which he or she has no control over. I don't like to think of people having no control over what they are and who they can be. I think there's gotta be something unique inside everyone, that 3rd elusive factor that decides which types of methods and behaviours we adopt when we confront various situations. And this is where individual differences come in. There's gotta be different types of that something in each person. Genes and the environment are perhaps superficial explanations of everything.

We could look at the world in various ways, and that makes each of us unique. But what makes us able to click with each other, and people who perceive the world in different ways? Well I'm not sure either, but perhaps it's the dominance of the 3rd factor. The 3rd factor could coexist with other types of 3rd factor, which enable some people who seem very different to be actually be similar in some ways. Like how sometimes we feel like we are a mess of contradictory personalities, such as wanting to be alone yet wanting to be with someone but outwardly showing wanting to be alone? The dominant 3rd factor could be wanting to be alone, but it coexists with the factor that likes to be around people. Am I making sense here?

People are interesting, aren't they? And so mysterious that they can be darn irritating.

Cultural Psych

I can't help but feel that I'm fighting a losing battle here. There's no way I'm gonna be able to cover everything in Cultural Psych by tomorrow. I was trying to read my textbook just now, trying to convince myself that there's still time to try to cover my base, but I almost threw my book out of the window in frustration. And now I can't find the motivation to look at my lecture notes. I really feel like just going into the exam hall tomorrow without studying, but I know I'll definitely kick myself after that. But NOTHING is getting into my head. Argh.

I do hope tomorrow's paper is not as bad as I am expecting it to be...

And don't even mention the past two papers. I just hope I can get decent grades.

Please remind me not to be so bloody ambitious next time. 5 subjects will do.

singapore idol grand final, Jonathan Leong first song

Ahhhh!! Need I say more? =p

Dance With My Father

This is a very sweet song! I wish I could have found the original singer's music video with his real voice, but this singer is nice too. Enjoy! Below are the lyrics...

Back when I was a child, before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high and dance with my mother and me and then
Spin me around ‘til I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved

If I could get another chance, another walk, another dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
How I’d love, love, love
To dance with my father again

When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way, I would run from her to him
He’d make me laugh just to comfort me
Then finally make me do just what my mama said
Later that night when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he would be gone from me

If I could steal one final glance, one final step, one final dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
‘Cause I’d love, love, love
To dance with my father again

Sometimes I’d listen outside her door
And I’d hear how my mother cried for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me

I know I’m praying for much too much
But could you send back the only man she loved
I know you don’t do it usually
But dear Lord she’s dying
To dance with my father again
Every night I fall asleep and this is all I ever dream

Look what my Dog Did

Yes, just look!

Would you believe an dog that looks like this:














would make my things look like this:




My Post-its!!!











and this:


My eraser!!!

I wanna slap him, I really do! I just dropped my post-its and my eraser for a little while and the next time I looked, they were like that. Do you know how hard I tried to preserve the paper around my eraser and keep my eraser nice and clean?! And the silly boy has to spoil my efforts. Even my Post-its were not spared... From a nice and clean state, they became like.... like... RUBBISH!! Now both of my things have his saliva! Eau de Schnoozee. Does it have a nice ring to it? Oh man... Luckily the smell has faded somewhat from the eraser, and... I don;t think I wanna use the post-its anymore... What a pity. The size of the Post-its was PERFECT for note-taking...

Argh. But what can I do? It's like having a naughty child. We can't abandon our children even if they are mischievous can we? I can't bear to abandon him either. Haha!!

The Imp of the Perverse

I should be studying like a maniac; I know I should be studying like one; but I'm not. Instead, I'm online blogging about knowing that I should be studying, and doing everything else that's unnecessary- except studying.

Ever heard the story of The Imp of the Perverse by Edgar Allan Poe? It's very Freudian (Si Huan, you'll probably like it), talking about the perverseness in people, like how we would purposely do something to get ourselves into trouble when we know we can actually keep away from it by taking preventive measures. It's kinda like the death instinct Freud talked about, isn't it? Here's a paragraph from the story:

We stand upon the brink of a precipice. We peer into the abyss – we grow sick and dizzy. Our first impulse is to shrink from the danger. Unaccountably we remain. By slow degrees our sickness, and dizziness, and horror, become merged in a cloud of unnameable feeling. By gradations, still more imperceptible, this cloud assumes shape, as did the vapor from the bottle out of which arose the genius in the Arabian Nights. But out of this our cloud upon the precipice's edge, there grows into palpability, a shape, far more terrible than any genius, or any demon of a tale, and yet it is but a thought, although a fearful one, and one which chills the very marrow of our bones with the fierceness of the delight of its horror. It is merely the idea of what would be our sensations during the sweeping precipitancy of a fall from such a height. And this fall – this rushing annihilation – for the very reason that it involves that one most ghastly and loathsome of all the most ghastly and loathsome images of death and suffering which have ever presented themselves to our imagination – for this very cause do we now the most vividly desire it. And because our reason violently deters us from the brink, therefore, do we the more impetuously approach it. There is no passion in nature so demoniacally impatient, as that of him, who shuddering upon the edge of a precipice, thus meditates a plunge. To indulge for a moment, in any attempt at thought, is to be inevitably lost; for reflection but urges us to forbear, and therefore it is, I say, that we cannot. If there be no friendly arm to check us, or if we fail in a sudden effort to prostrate ourselves backward from the abyss, we plunge, and are destroyed.

Examine these and similar actions as we will, we shall find them resulting solely from the spirit of the Perverse. We perpetrate them merely because we feel that we should not. Beyond or behind this, there is no intelligible principle. And we might, indeed, deem this perverseness a direct instigation of the Arch-Fiend, were it not occasionally known to operate in furtherance of good.

Isn't this like how we always go after the forbidden fruit? We know we should not go after it, but we still do, just to know what it's like. We can never be content that what we have is good. There must often, if not always, be something done to spoil the peace and goodness of what we have.

Defensive pessimism, I think, is the opposite of perverseness. What is defensive pessimism? Well it's an action taken by a defensive pessimist. OK, I know this sounds very duh and doesn't explain everything; I shall attempt to explain it further. A defensive pessimist is someone who anticipates failure, and thus does everything in his/her power to prepare to make whatever he/she is doing to make it a success. The thing is, all the while the defensive pessimist is preparing against the failure, he/she is always convinced that the project is doomed to failure. This is like preparing for disappointment. Don't you agree that the concepts of defensive pessimism and perverseness are like opposites? One is doing everything you can to prevent it, while thinking that the whole thing will be a failure, whereas the other is doing everything you can to get yourself into trouble, all the while convinced that if you were to keep quiet about it, everything will be fine.

You know what? I think the fact that life is full of ups and downs is caused by human's perverseness. Of course, it's hard to accept that we are perverted in the sense that we like to cause our own downfall, but think about it: why is it that quite a large number of high-flyers declare themselves bankrupt when they seemingly have it all? Why do some educated people turn to smoking when it's widely known that smoking causes lung cancer and other horrible consequences?

Hehe I welcome your rebuttals- there are lots of loopholes in this argument, and I admit, it's rather one-sided to state this argument like that. Haha, but I won't promise that I won't agree with you. So come on, share your views! Ahh... but don't sue me... =)

A cappella - The Sregnis Singers - When I'm 64 Beatles

Here's a video from youtube by Hong Kong a capella group The Sregnis Singers. It's not as good as the original version, but I think they did quite a good job, though the original's more playful than this. Check out the background music!

When I'm 64

This song is very cute! It's by The Beatles. Well, if I can get the MIDI file up or the youtube video up, you can have an idea of what the song sounds like. But till then, here's the lyrics:

When I get older losing my hair,
Many years from now.
Will you still be sending me a valentine
Birthday greetings bottle of wine.

If I'd been out till quarter to three
Would you lock the door,
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When I'm sixty-four.

You'll be older too,
And if you say the word, I could stay with you.
I could be handy, mending a fuse
When your lights have gone.

You can knit a sweater by the fireside
Sunday mornings go for a ride,
Doing the garden, digging the weeds,
Who could ask for more.
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When I'm sixty-four.

Every summer we can rent a cottage,
In the Isle of Wight, if it's not too dear
We shall scrimp and save
Grandchildren on your knee
Vera ,Chuck & Dave

Send me a postcard, drop me a line,
Stating point of view
Indicate precisely what you mean to say
Yours sincerely, wasting away
Give me your answer, fill in a form
Mine for evermore
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When I'm sixty-four.

An Amusing Analogy

This is Yi Lun's revelation, revealed in the car earlier this afternoon. I should warn you, though, that it's a rather crude analogy, albeit a funny one, so read it at your own risk!

Imagine your exams have started, and you just passed one stressful week of exams. The next week is much more relaxed, coz you've already revised all that you had to revise in the first week. However, there's still that dilemma within you- you badly want to relax because you were under SOOOO much stress the last week, but you know that you'd never forgive yourself if you relaxed and didn't study and the next week's exams are difficult. You know that heart very itchy feeling?

This is a bit like when you need to answer the small call of nature very very badly. However, while you are answering halfway, you find that you can't go all the way. Now, isn't this feeling very painful? You're so near to the goal, but... you can't go all the way!

Hope you enjoyed it! =)

Happy Pepero Day!

Yep, most of you might not have heard of this kind of day. Neither have I, until today when Camella came into my room and gave me this:
















It's a packet of 4 peperos!

Why did I receive this?

Well, according to Wikipedia and Camella, Pepero or Pocky Day (depending on which country you are from), is day in South Korea similar to Valentine's Day. It is named after the Korean snack Pepero and held on November 11 (today), since the date "11/11" resemble four sticks of Pepero. Or, if you're from Japan, it's Pocky Day, since the equivalent of Pepero is Pocky. This day is celebrated mostly by young people and couples, who exchange Pepero sticks, other candies, and romantic gifts.

According to the story, Pepero Day was started in 1994 by students at a girls' middle school in Busan, where they exchanged Pepero sticks as gifts to wish one another to grow "as tall and slender as a Pepero" (Pepero means "thin like a stick"). However, it is more likely it was initiated by Lotte, the company which produces Pepero.

While in most countries of the world, November 11th is a day of remembrance (since it signaled the end of World War I), in Korea, Japan, Vietnam (according to Camella) and Philippines (according to Mira), it is a day of romanceMany students are truant on this day to celebrate with their friends.

In Japan, a similar Pocky Day was held on November 11 in 1999, which was the 11th year of the Heisei era. The date, 11/11 of the 11th year, resembled 6 sticks of Pocky. According to Korean sources this day was based on the Pepero Day.

From what I heard, some people actually go to the trouble to buy plain pocky sticks (think Yan Yan without the cream) and then dip it into their own chocolate and then decorate it with the colourful rice candy. But generally, I think the trend is buying Pepero or Pocky and then dividing them into groups of 4 or 6, then wrapping them in nice bags or paper.

Camella was real sweet to think to give us a packet! =D

Yep, and now you know that there's a Pepero Day! Cheers to an increase in general knowledge! =p

Careless Whisper

I like this song coz it's catchy, but for the lyrics.... well, I haven't met a situation like this yet. This song keeps playing in my head!! If you have time, maybe have a listen at it! George Michael really has a good voice, too bad he's gay... isn't he?

Time can never mend
The careless whispers of a good friend
To the heart and mindIgnorance is kind
There's no comfort in the truth
Pain is all you find

Should have known better, yeah

I feel so unsure
As I take your hand
And lead you to the dance floor
As the music dies
Something in your eyes
Calls to mind a silver screen
And all its sad goodbyes

I'm never gonna dance again
Guilty feet have got no rhythm
Though it's easy to pretend
I know you're not a fool
I should have known better than to cheat a friend
And waste a chance that I've been given
So I'm never gonna dance again
The way I danced with you

Time can never mend
The careless whispers of a good friend
To the heart and mind
Ignorance is kind
There's no comfort in the truth
Pain is all you find

I'm never gonna dance again
Guilty feet have got no rhyhthm
Though it's easy to pretend
I know you're not a foolI should have known better than to cheat a friend
(Should have known better, yeah)
And waste a chance that I've been given
So I'm never gonna dance again
The way I danced with you
(Never without you)

Tonight the music seems so loud
I wish that we could lose this crowd
Maybe it's better this way
We'd hurt eachother with the things we want to say
We could have been so good together
We could have lived this dance forever
But now who's gonna dance with me
Please stay

And I'm never gonna dance again
Guilty feet have got no rhythm
Though it's easy to pretend
I know you're not a fool
I should have known better than to cheat a friend
And waste a chance that I've been given
So I'm never gonna dance again
The way I danced with you

Now that you're gone
Now that you're gone
Now that you're gone
Was what I did so wrong
So wrong that you had to leave me alone

- George Michael

On a lighter note....

Here's a picture I found...





















Hehe this is actually sold by an Australian lingerie shop. You can view it here: http://www.caryn.com.au/index.htm Naughty naughty design!! Haha!!

And I know just who would be interested in this. Unfortunately, though I was tempted to order one online for you, it costs AUD60, which is a whopping SGD$71.9984. No way am I gonna spend that much man... Haha maybe on your 21st birthday, then I'll order it for you. Or you could ask that special someone to do it? ;)

Yep, I must admit, it's quite creative, but.... a li'l too explicit, don't you think?

Motivation!!

It's a little more than 2 weeks to exams, and I haven't started studying yet. Wonderful. Now that projects are done, I find I'm wasting my time away doing rubbish online. Like blogging rubbish like this.

I need to find the motivation to concentrate!!!!!

Birthday

Haha THANK YOU JORENE!

She has just given me the earliest and a VERY expensive 21st birthday. She's sponsoring half the cost of the ticket to SHE's concert next year. It's a whopping $148 and she's paying half... whoa... Hey, you like SHE so much ah?

Haha I've never watched a live concert before. SHE's concert should be quite fun. I heard from Merrilyn that SHE's concerts always have a certain standard, which is good. Plus this time I'm getting premier seats! Yay!! I'm not very familiar with SHE, but so far I like their songs, and I like them. But ask me their biodata and things about them, and I won't know how to answer. So Jorene, be prepared! I don't really know much about them!!!

=D

Happy Land

Yi Lun told me to blog about the story about Happy Land, so I shall oblige her and let u see what a wonderful place Happy La-La-Land is.

The mosquitoes don't suck blood. They suck nectar.

The sun doesn't get too hot. It's like a bi-metallic strip, where, when the temperature gets too hot, it'll stop rising. Yeah, it's like auto-summer 365 days long. We won't ever have to travel to California or even dream about it, and Evon can stop yearning to go to some beachy place, coz NZ will be hot enough and sunny enough to get tanned. No more winters!!

The carnivores will be herbivores, and animals like the zebras and tigers will be Maths teachers. They teach the younger generation how to count. Like, counting the number of stripes on them. They will even teach abstract subjects like philosophy, such as whether the colour of the tiger is black stripes on orange or vice versa, and whether the zebra is white stripes on black.
Oh did I mention what the flowers look like? They all have plump petals and large centres between the petals. They will all have faces just like how you imagined them in Enid Blyton story books.

Whether there'll be humans or not is rather debatable, coz we realised that once there's the presence of humans, they'll try to change the landscape and the way the world operates. But then, because I'm the creator of the story, I'll say there'll be no humans in utopia. There's no such thing as a perfect human. You're welcome to invite them into your story if you want... ;)

si huan rocks!

Lazaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy

I feel too lazy to do work right now, and it's like, what? 11.32 in the morning. 2 hours have passed since I woke up and NO work has been accomplished yet. Makes me wonder how I'm gonna finish studying for my 3 tests next week. But u know what? I find that I don't have the energy to go and bother about exactly how much time I have before the tests. Thinking about it just makes my heart race and makes me panic and then I'll be as good as useless. Doesn't help that I have 3 more projects to do and all are clamouring for attention.

I really don't have confidence for any of the projects and presentations that are coming up. Did I tell you? I screwed up a presentation last week. I READ ENTIRELY FROM THE WHOLE BLOODY SCREEN. That's something I haven't done in a long time, and, unlike most events, it wasn't a thrilling experience. It was bloody embarrassing. I hope I won't screw up anymore, coz the next time(s), presentation counts for alot.

I just wanna escape. I wanna turn off all communication devices and just... I don't know, hide or something. But the moment I do that, when I turn on the communication devices once again, reality will set in and I'll be there slapping myself for turning them off. That's the horrid consequence. Backlog of work to be done. Yep, so I've planned something. I have an announcement to make.

ON THE FIRST OF DECEMBER 2006, MY HANDPHONE WILL BE TURNED OFF, MY MSN STATUSES WILL BE OFFLINE AND MY HOUSE PHONE WILL NOT BE PICKED UP. I WILL BE WATCHING TV AND STAYING HOME AND SLEEPING.

Yeah!! =D And I absolutely can't wait for that. So... yep, I hope you understand if I don't reply on that day... I've been looking forward to it so long that I think I'll really push whatever suddenly crops up that day to another day. I need a day to do mindless stupid things like watching tv. Yes, and if you're wondering, I'll be watching "Princess Hours". No detective/horror/suspense etc shows for me. That day's not for using my brain... Haha....

Yes well, I guess this entry will make some of you think I'm an escapist or a coward or a spineless weakling who can't stand the hardships of life. All right. Whatever you say. I probably am, but one thing: don't YOU get sick of obligations and social norms and whatever that comes with surviving in society?

On a lighter note, we went out to celebrate my mother's birthday yesterday at No Signboard Restaurant (Well I think the name's an irony, really, but that's for another discussion another day)!! The food was good. I liked the vermicelli with crayfish. The crayfish was so fresh and juicy and the sauce on the vermicelli was good- thick and spicy and tasty. The vermicelli was juicy (can u imagine?), and it was just the right texture, not too hard and not too soft. That's why every mouthful was also full of the sauce. Yum... The crabs were not bad too. We had pepper crab, and it was peppery, but not so peppery that it overpowered the taste of the crab. Ahh... we had sambal mussels too, and that was good. The mussels were JUICY, not fried till they were dry like some places tend to fry it. Yam ring... well that was ok, not bad, but I think other places which specialise in zhu chao would have done it better. Yam ring's just not a seafood food. A large chunk of my salary from the RA job done last month went into the meal =S but it was worth it. The food was good, the company was good, the weather was.... errr.... at least it didn rain (though a weather without the blasted haze could have been better). I wish I had taken photos. I brought the camera, but realised that my father hadn't put in the XD card after he used it for another camera -_-", otherwise I'd show you all the dishes!!

Von: Mummy says you'll get a chance to go there when you come back! But really, Kelong still wins in terms of price, and maybe the taste is slightly better there (kelong i mean...). Come back soon!!

It's now 11.55am, and I still haven't done anything. Yippeeeeeeeeeeee

Chivalry Doesn't Fade With Age

Remember we always learnt that we should always have a passion for learning? Well, qualities like chivalry shouldn't fade with age either.

Yesterday, I was on the train to Toa Payoh. There was this elderly man who boarded the train at City Hall with me. There was a younger lady beside him, and the train was full. He found the seat first, and therefore sat down. When he saw that lady, he immediately gave up his seat for her. The lady was rather shocked, and, I think embarrassed, so she tried to refuse the seat- I mean, how could u take the seat someone older offered to you? Well the older man refused to let her say no- I think he said, "You're a lady" and in the end she sat down.

I was impressed with the man's behaviour. In this day and age, he showed that chivalry's not dead, and that it doesn't stop when a person gets older. That's what I call graciousness. =)

Road to Redemption

12 steps (Malay):

With every word, I learn to keep it
With every criticism, I learn to understand
With every ego, I learn about humility
With every step, I learn to be careful
With every mistake, I learn to improve
With every doubt, I learn to believe
With every injury, I learn about healing
With every cry, I learn about regret
With every smile, I learn about sincerity
With every sin, I learn to repent
With every prayer, I learn about confidence
With every prostration, I learn to be grateful
With every pleasure, God bestows upon us

This poem (I think) is by a 40-year-old woman serving a seven-year term for drug consumption, from The Straits Times

12 steps, sounding deceptively simple and fast, but actually needing alot of courage and willpower to take each step. How many of us are actually able to take any one of those steps? How many of us have experienced a cry, a critism, a bruised ego, and never advanced from there, just staying on to dwell on it, or hide from it? I know I'm probably guilty of alot of it, and I think whoever actually manages to transcend these 12 steps and get on with life probably deserves an award for never giving up or something. If there isn't such an award, well, there should be one. Yellow Ribbon Project- the project to give ex-convicts a second chance. Well, I feel they really should be given a second chance. Following my previous entry, and understanding how much support means to a person, I now can really understand how much trust and support can help a person regain his/her sense of self-worth, and just a little bit of it can actually help the person a long way. We don't have to explicitly say, "Hey, I trust you" etc. Just our little actions or attitudes will do.

Some might say it's hard to judge whether a person is trustworthy or not, especially ex-convicts. Well I wouldn't disagree with that, but... Isn't it a fact that we really can't trust anybody, those record-free people included? Maybe we should take a chance, a leap of faith. Who knows, we really might make a difference in that other person's life.

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved."
- Helen Keller
(http://en.thinkexist.com/quotes/helen_keller/2.html)

Family Support

You know, I finally really realise why the abnormal Psych textbook always encourages family support in the course of the treatment of the patients. Family support IS really very important.

It was only today that I finally realise how much I need family support. Without it, I think I might have broken down or something.

There have been too many things to handle recently- projects, tests, CCAs, work etc... the list goes on and on... So many things to be done in so little time. I thought I'd be able to do it, but MAN am I so wrong. I was feeling so horrid about everything, and my temper was getting shorter and shorter... Thanks to my family, who has been so wonderful... They didn't lose their patience with me, and even tried to help me out, and tried to help me relax. Even Mira was a wonderful support, making Milo for me even though she was busy doing her work. Though they often nag at me and make me see things which I'd rather not see at the moment, they gave me the help and support I need by always being there for me.

Well, this stressful period's nowhere near over yet, but I think I'll be able to hang on till the load has gone off a bit.....

ok the past few entries have been depressing. Here's something nice:

Levi's new jeans! The Lady's Style. Isn't it nice? But I think it costs a HUUUUGE bomb, so I can only drool over it here. Enjoy!

























Well I know the model is babelicious, but let's just leave that aside for now and concentrate on her jeans, shall we? Isn't it gorgeous?

I am NOT STUPID

I am sick and tired of people insinuating I'm stupid or saying that I am stupid. Sure I may do things that are really stupid sometimes or most of the time, and I would be the first to admit that I'm really blur, BUT does that really mean that I'm stupid? Is there anyone who has never done anything stupid or been blur before?

Wow blogger's fast today. I expected having to wait for like 5 min before the page would load, but it was almost immediate! Haha wonderful!!

Anyway, I think I just had an epiphany. Muahaha. I have kan4 kai1-ed already. I'm gonna try my best for my studies, but I guess... I won't beat myself up over having too many things to catch up with. If I continue to do that, I may just end up with an anxiety disorder, and can then be a case study for the students taking Abnormal Psychology! There's no point worrying and ruminating over stuff which I can't control anymore. Things are just gonna pile and pile and what will become of me? I might not even get through second year. Yep. So I'm gonna take one day at a time. BUT that's not to say I won't work harder!! Hopefully this letting go thing will make me feel lighter and give me more energy to work harder. Hmm.. Maybe I should follow Si Huan's method, but I'm not really willing to sacrifice sleep.... Ah well, we shall just see how it goes, shall we? =)

Passion for something...

Everytime I think "This is it, I've found something I really like and hope to further my interest in it", I end up losing interest in it. In JC, it was Literature. This time, it's in language and Psychology, two of the fields I've always been very interested in.

There's just this block that prevents me from really having the desire to want to continue reading on and thinking more about it. It wasn't like this last academic year, but it seems to be now. Perhaps it's because of Cognitive Psych, or perhaps it's the textbook (which makes me rather shallow I think), or perhaps it's the increasing pressure of having to maintain my grades attained last year. Though I know it wasn't exactly very great since it wasn't first class, I like to think I've come out of my own shadow in Secondary school and have improved since then.

Or maybe it's the fact that this 2nd year has started off with several unknown variables- Research Assistant job, tuition, 6 subjects, a separate project group and a continuation of CCA in school- things which I have to take time to slowly get used to and feel my way around first. I realise now I shouldn't have been so ambitious as to take up so many commitments, but life isn't gonna be as kind to me as in school now, where I can have the option of choosing which commitments to drop and which to follow up. Furthermore, a word given is a word given. Ah, never mind, I shall take it easy and see how it goes from here. Stress and Yi Ling never goes well together, and well I should know that, from Secondary school when I insisted on taking 9 subjects when I simply shouldn't have.

Ambition, ambition. Maybe I should follow Evon's fantasy and go live as a hermit or something. Maybe then I'd recover my interest in humans. I feel rather drained. I think it's cos most of the modules I'm taking involve humans and a certain degree of empathy. I'm unable to feel that once again. This lack of empathy was what made my Lit results in Prelims so disastrous. I just felt so dried up. That's why I was a bit afraid of taking up Psychology. There was a fear I might go into something which I really felt I could feel for and then subsequently lose interest in it. Perhaps I'm not psychologist material after all after this episode, but it's the only field which I can connect with and feel a passion for.

Or perhaps this is just a result of the long holidays, where I got so used to slacking at home that subconsciously I was unhappy about the fact that I'd have to give all of that up to go back to study. I've just gotta change my mindset and get back to that studying mode.

Yep, 'nuff said. I'm gonna pull up my socks and try harder!!

Beginning of school...

Today was the last day of tuition. I'm gonna miss my students! Although I know I often complain about their lack of attention and whine about how to improve their standards, they've been an adorable bunch to teach. Not only adorable, they've been so sweet! I shall always remember Jonell's sudden remark, "Teacher, you know what? My hobby is saving money." and Bryan's generous gesture of giving Yi Lun two mechanical pencils when he heard it was her birthday. There're so many things which I can remember about them, but it would take quite long to repeat them all here. =) Suffice it to say that I'll miss them!!

Here's the picture I took with them!


From left: Me, Jonell, Bryan







Haha, what started out as a job became something of an activity. They're more like mentees rather than students, seriously. Although I never really looked forward to going for tuition (cos their tuition's after lunch and I get really sleepy), once there, I get kinda energised. You never know what kind of revelation they're gonna spring on you, seriously.

Anyway, with tuition ended, my Saturdays will be free of interruptions. Hopefully I'll get to catch up on my readings. I'm trying to keep up, but it's an uphill task. I've kinda decided to just start afresh this week and try to get my readings done. As for last week's readings... well, I guess I'm gonna have to let it slide for awhile. Man... I must get round to doing them. Especially for Cognitive Psychology, with the test one week away. Argh. How am I gonna remember the visual pathways etc etc?

DAC Welcome Tea's this coming Tuesday, and guess what? I'm gonna be the emcee for the event! Evon says it's cool to be able to do it, and would look nice on my CV yadayada, and I think it'd be a nice experience too. However, I do hope I'll be able to be interesting, cos I'm simply not the entertaining kind of speaker. I can't just pull jokes out of my head and say it in a deadpan tone that'd make people laugh. I wish I could do that. I always admire people who can think fast on their feet. No surprise why I gave up the thought of pursuing law then, eh? This is my first time emcee-ing, and it's in an LT, in front of possible 100+ people. I'm rather nervous about it, actually. It's not like presentation, where I'm presenting to a class. It's like... to a sample of the NTU population. I hope I do a good job!!

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Quality Time
with a secondary love language being
Words of Affirmation.

Complete set of results

Quality Time:		9
Words of Affirmation:		8
Acts of Service:		5
Physical Touch:		5
Receiving Gifts:		3

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

Great People!

Seriously, I've got wonderful people around me. My family, and my friends. Haha I'm so lucky!

Take today, for instance. Our biggest sponsor (I'm not gonna post up the name here, lest I get sued) delayed our printing again. And made changes again. And this time, the biggest change was to change the content back to the original content which they had told us to delete the first time, which was, what, 2 revisions ago?! It's not as if we have all the time in the world to cater to them you know. The recruitment fair's next week, and we have to print 2000 copies of magazines.

So. My family knew how frustrated I was, and left me alone. They also scolded the sponsors (not in front of them, of course) on my behalf, and.. when I decided not to go for dinner with PaSYm, they knew how disappointed I was (well I've been talking about it since last week!) but still supported my decision. And when I finally decided to go for the dinner after all, they offered to send me to the venue itself despite the rush hour and so on! So sweet rite? My poor father was rushing through his dinner just to send me there on time. Oh man.. So sweeeeeeeet!

Mira was a darling too! Instead of getting frustrated over my fickle-mindedness (I told her I was eating at home, and the next, I had decided to go out), she accepted it.

Then... PaSYm. Thank you Merrilyn for offering to pray for me! That's so sweet! And for listening to me blubbering over the phone even though you didn't understand what the hell I was saying. Haha I was trying to hold my tears then. Hee... And for consoling me! And Si Huan, thanks for the SMS too! That was so sweet. The rest of PaSYm, thanks for being such great companies today!! I always have fun with you all!

Ooh, and one more person I must mention, even though she'll most probably never read this blog, since she doesn't know about it. The incoming DAC president, Lee Shi Ming. She's wonderful. She's so understanding and patient. I think she knew I was upset with the sponsor for making so many changes to the layout, and even though she was also upset and frustrated with them, she still listened (or read) me rant on and on, and she offered to talk to them if they tried to make anymore requests. Wow. And she even encouraged me to go out to take a break when she was also stuck at home doing the publication. I'm glad she's the incoming president =)

Besides this, there are also others whom I wanna mention. Of course, the order is in no order of merit. Everyone's GREAT

Jie Ting and Jiun Pey:
I love shopping with them!! They are wonderful shopping buddies. Patient, honest, and fun! That time I went Chinatown with them, it was practically my shopping trip, coz they had gone there already the week before. Goodness, they just kept watching me change in and out of clothes and offering suggestions, and just going wherever I wanted to go. I felt bad about it, but they didn't seem to mind... (hmm to me lar, but Jie Ting said she really didn't, and Jiun Pey too.. ) I don't know how Jieting also always manages to find bargains, but I'm thankful that she does, coz her recommendations are always great. =)

Serene:
Do you know, I think I really got closer to her after we became roommates. She's a wonderful girl! I mean, I knew she was wonderful lar, but staying with her made me appreciate just how wonderful she is. Hey Serene, if you're reading this, I had a great year staying with you! I just hope we can stay together again next AY! Haha.. She's always been a good listening ear, always listening to me rant on and on, and she's quite patient too! Haha, how many people can stand another person talking in her sleep? ;)

Yaying and Yanfang:
Haha they are wonderful talking company!! I can just sit with them and we can just talk on and on and on! About anything in particular I think, which is great! It's just too bad that we can't meet more often than every holiday.. =(

Melissa:
Haha how could I forget her? Well even though we just meet like once every hols, I rather like hanging out with her. Haha shopping with her's fun and I realise I learn about fashion from her most times... hmm I just have to figure out how to make my own jewellery...

JK:
Hey I didn't forget you!! He's my cousin! A really really great guy, and the girl who's with him is one lucky girl k... He's so nice to talk to, and so reliable and dependable, I swear, if you're looking for a husband, he should be the type you're looking for. But enough about advertising him. I just wanna say, thank you JK for being there when I'm frustrated or not in a good mood. Haha, he's probably the only guy who actually listens to me whine.. *embarrassed*

Siwei:
Hehe, surprised to see your name here? Actually, I never expected to remain in contact with you after 8 years leh. But it's a good thing! Haha it has gotta be some kind of record right? And I really enjoyed going out with you that day. Haha, and your vcds!! I MUST borrow them in November!! Well, I'm thankful I remained in contact with you... =)

So... yah, a BIG Thank You to all of you. You've made my life very meaningful, and I'm very grateful that I met you all. =)

Jonathan Leong

Bird, you wanted to see his picture? Haha, this was the best I could find leh... I saw some others also, but they aren't saveable.. =( Haha I know this picture isn't very nice, and doesn't express Jonathan Leong's charm, so watch Singapore Idol!! =D

Elvin Ng

Yesyesyes! I found a nice picture!

Singapore Idol part 2

Well, watching Singapore Idol live wasn't as fun as I expected it to be, I guess partly coz I could barely hear what the idols were singing, partly coz their performances weren't exactly stellar this week, and mostly coz I didn't get to take a photo with Jonathan Leong! And the other idols, for that matter. =(

I was sooo hoping to take a photo with him. Haha, he might not be exactly good looking, but he's charming on stage, and his voice! his eyes! Oooh... haha... JK: I'm NOT drooling k! I'm admiring! Haha.. Why don't I ever meet these kind of guys?

Ah.. another guy worth mentioning here while I'm going on and on about charming guys is Elvin Ng!! Haha he might not be counted as good-looking cos of his teeth, but... there's just something about him-maybe his eyes- that just melts the heart. Haha, or maybe I've gotten too carried away by the show and gotten charmed by his character. Nonetheless, his character in the show is charming in the sense that he's a nice, shy guy... Haha... the sappy romantic in me again... =) And I think he acts well too! The way he looks at Rui-en... Whoa.. haha wish there was someone who looked at me like that... =)

Anyway, I tried to look for photos of him, but after awhile, what I could find was this:

Yah, not very good looking here I know, but this was the best I could find. Haha, I promise to find a better one!!







And now, I wanna go back to sleep. Take care!

Singapore Idol

If everything goes well tomorrow, I'm gonna watch Singapore Idol! Yay!

Please please please don't let any meetings crop up!!!

And the story is....

Alas, United Nations we're not meant to be. Natalia decided to move out of our house. So sad... I was hoping to learn more about Russia, since it seems to be such a removed place from my sphere of knowledge. Haha.. But I guess there'll be others?

United Nations

United Nations is what my house is turning into, or going to turn to in the near future.

A Russian girl, Natalia (don't know if that's how you spell it, Russian spelling and all), came last night with her friend Anastacia (I like this name, but again, Russian spelling and all, I might have spelt it wrong), who was here for the night. Haha, Anastacia said she knows Natalia, but when the latter arrived, she didn't know her.

If everything goes according to schedule, there'll be another Russian coming soon. o.O

I know your eyes are probably bulging with surprise now. How the hell are we gonna communicate with the Russians right? Well, I don't have an answer to that now, but I promise I'll tell you when I find out.

Now here's a riddle: What food is it that has black eggs, and the rice is put with water?

Haha, betcha managed to guess it was century egg porridge. Anastacia was given that when she was staying in another Singaporean's house. Haha, she called up her family in Russia and said, "They gave me black eggs! And they gave me rice, and they put water inside it!" Haha, this probably shows the difference between Russians and the East. Russia's just too far away from Singapore, bet they didn't even know of our existence until their parents wanted to send them over here to learn English. Why here for goodness' sake?! Well I don't know the answer to that either, but I'll see if I can ask Natalia that. Incidentally, I like the name Natalie too. Haha.

And this morning: when Anastacia was given a ham and cheese sandwich (ham and cheese for God's sake! How different is that?), she exclaimed, "OH MY GOD! WHAT IS THAT?!" And refused to eat it. Haha... Maybe they don't have the packet cheese like we do here?

Well anyway, that Anastacia's pretty loaded.. hmm, "pretty" is an understatement. Very would be more correct. She has been here 2 weeks, and she has spent USD700 so far. That translates to about S$1400. Amazing eh?

Haha, I know I sound like I don't really like them, but... I guess I'm not used to their ways, and neither are they to mine. Or maybe to them I'm suaku, just as I think they are suaku. Haha, our culture's probably alien to them, just as theirs is to me. Perhaps this is a good time to learn more about a distant country. =) Wish me luck! Hope I can become friends with Natalia and learn more about Russia so I won't become a goondu next time.. haha =)

Sleeping patterns and slacking

Haha, contrary to what I tagged on Si Huan's blog awhile ago, now I seem to have problems keeping my eyes open. -_-" It's getting to be a pattern: a period of sleeplessness, followed by a period of sleepiness. Cripes! It's getting a bit irritating, coz I never had much problem sleeping in the past. Don't tell me my times of great REM sleep are over?! I hope not. I so love REM sleep. Imagine thekind of sleep where it takes soooo much effort to open your eyes, your limbs feel deliciously heavy, and when you finally manage to reach consciousness, all it takes is to close your eyes before you reach slumberland AND- here's the best part- go back to where you stopped in your dream. Heaven.

Hmm. Does slacking have anything to do with this difference in sleeping patterns? Or maybe the stress of the publication's getting to me, such that the escapist in me is trying to find solace in sleep. This usually happens around exam times, particularly since I started school in NTU. Sleeping's such a fun activity! No worries, no reality. It's the only time when I don't have to worry about deadlines, about survival, about many other things. Well, I wish I could sleep whenever I want, but once the term starts, well, it's not gonna be possible. Time table's not very friendly to me this coming sem. I've got lessons at 930! Well, at least it's not 830, but still... Thursday ends at 730! =( Ah well, on the bright side, hopefully I'll manage to get both the science PEs, and put an end to science modules for the rest of my 4 years. Then next will be the biz modules, THEN I shall be left in peace to go do the other modules which I can bet are much more interesting than biz and science. I was never one for science, although I know my arts subjects are not particularly spectacular as well. BUT in terms of interest, the Arts win anytime. I love figuring out the Lit stuff. It's like solving a mystery- when you finally uncover what the author or poet's trying to say through the symbols or metaphors or whatever it is they use, there's this sense of satisfaction, and an admiration for the creator of the piece. That's why writers are to be respected. No one can play with words the way they can. It's so brilliant! History's fun too, but I absolutely hate studying for it. Geog's another matter though. Haha, I could never understand it. =( Anyway, I'm digressing. My point is that, Arts is so much more satisfying than the Science for me. Haha, think if I had been in the Science stream in JC I wouldn't even have qualified for university. Probably would have gone mad there. Haha... =)

I'm rewatching Meteor Garden and it's still charming me!! Probably coz the chemistry between Da S and Jerry Yen's still great. Love to watch them bicker. Haha and I still get hooked to the story, even though this is probably the third time I'm watching this show. And it's not only me who's hooked. Camella and Yi Lun are hooked too! And this is also Yi Lun's third, if not, second time watching it. Meteor Garden's different from other idol dramas I feel, and somehow, none of them can match up to it. Haha. I'm glad I bought the DVD. I've been wanting to own one. =)

Well. I have to go sleep now. Haven't blogged like this for quite awhile, and it's kinda cathartic to do so. Kinda feel lighter now, which is good. On the other hand, a part of me's getting heavier......

Fly Away

"When will you be home?" she asks

as we watch the planes take off

We both know we have no clear answer to where my

dreams may lead

She's watched me as i crawled and stumbled

As a child, she was my world

And now to let me go, I know she bleeds

and yet she says to me

You can fly so high

Keep your gaze upon the sky

I'll be prayin every step along the way

Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far

apart

I love you too much to make you stay

Baby fly away

Autumn leaves fell into spring time and

Silver-painted hair

Daddy called one evening saying

"We need you. Please come back"

When I saw her laying in her bed

Fragile as a child Pale just like an angel taking flight

I held her as I cried

You can fly so high

Keep your gaze upon the sky I

'll be prayin every step along the way

Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart

I love you too much to make you stay

Baby fly away

ohh...

I love you too much to make you stay

Baby fly away

- Corrine May

This song still makes me cry. Corrine May is a darn good singer.

Studying overseas

I have thought about studying overseas quite a few times. Would I miss home? Would I be change in any way? Would I be able to travel to different places during the holidays? Perhaps the answers would be in the affirmative. However, many times I have countered these thoughts with the consolation that everything near and dear to me is more important than a new environment with less stress etc. Perhaps there would be stress, but of a different kind. Perhaps I would miss home, but it will pass. I won't say I regret staying back in Singapore to study, but I'll admit, some times I just wish I had gone overseas.

With Evon and Yi Lun going to or planning to study overseas, and with other friends going overseas to study too, it just seems like there is a much wider world out there when I study overseas. Although Singapore is a cosmopolitan society and we're in no way more ulu than our counterparts from other countries, the thing about studying locally is that there is no reason to go overseas with our friends during the holidays. I mean, those studying in places like UK, NZ, US, Australia etc will get to explore other places in Europe, or the country. What can I do? Travel to Malaysia, which I have done on several occasions? Furthermore, there's less chance of actually experiencing more, in a sense.

Ah.. I don't quite know what I want, actually. On one hand I would love to be able to study overseas, or at least travel, but on the other hand, I have little confidence that I'll be able to keep myself from missing my family and friends and the things back home...

Ooh!!

Ahhhh I'm in love in love in love!! With this dishy-licious guy call Hu Ge ( 胡歌). All thanks to Jorene, who lent me her DVD for 天外飞仙, now I just love seeing his face. He's so cute!! Haha, let me show you some pictures of him and stop sounding so much like a bimbo. ;)



Look at him! Good-looking eh? But this is from the Chinese Paladin and not 天外飞仙... He looks much better here than in the latter, but still good-looking nonetheless... =)









Doesn't he look cute here too?








Haha, but I think he looks better in period dramas than modern dramas. Hai, the sad fact of life.... Hmm, don't you think he looks like Daniel Radcliffe here?






And this, is a pic of Hu Ge with his co-star in 天外飞仙, Ariel Lin Yi Chen... cute! =)








Haha, another actor who's eye-candy's Tae!! He's Thai, but he stayed in Taiwan to learn Chinese from what I read. Nonetheless, he's good for the eyes too!

Oh man, Jorene Cheng Siwei! What have you done to me?!

Ok, besides the cast, the show is great too! There were quite a few touching scenes inside which made me cry... I recommend this show! And Hu Ge played this super nice guy, it was just so endearing. Haha, that was what made me decide to go find his photos. =)

Ahh yes, the pictures were from:
http://asianfanatics.net/forum/lofiversion/index.php/t115185.html
http://asianfanatics.net/gallery/index.php?act=thumbs&aid=2060

Cliffhangers

I hate them.

Books!

I really really love books, especially storybooks, especially romance. Muahahaha, goodness knows why though, but I do.

I just bought three storybooks recently- The Time-Traveller's Wife, Lolita, and Ash Wednesday- and I've finished The Time-Traveller's Wife and am going on to Ash Wednesday now. The Time-Traveller's Wife was such a great story! Made every cent of it worth the money. I just finished it at 1 plus this afternoon, and I was crying all the way.

The Time-Traveller's Wife is a story about this guy Henry, whose genetic code has some problem, such that at sporadic intervals, he will travel through time to some time in his memory. For some reason, he often travels to his wife's- Clare's- past, back when she was a little girl, all the way till she was 18. Clare knew all about his life, and vice versa. Thing is, he visited her past when he was in his 30s and 40s, while he met her for real at 28, so when he met her for real, he didn't know who she was, but she had all those memories of him. It's kinda sad, but there's nothing both of them can do about it. It was touching, the way they loved each other. Whenever Henry was gone time-travelling, Clare would worry, and throughout the time Henry was visiting Clare's past, Clare had to understand that though they were married in the future, at the present Henry did not yet know of her existence, and thus was still leading a rather rakish life. Henry, on the other hand, had to understand that during the time he did not see Clare (from the time when Clare was 18 to 20, because during that time Henry did not appear anymore), Clare was free to see whoever she wanted, because while Clare was waiting for Henry to appear, Henry was still leading his own life without any awareness to Clare's existence, and surely Clare was free to lead her own life as normally as she could. It's kind of a twisted logic within the book, where it seems that past, present and future coexist at the same time. One can travel to the past and spend, like, a day there, and then go back to the present, where only about 10min was spent, so it's kinda like perceiving past and present as separated by many years, or a few minutes. At the last part, the part which I was reading this morning, Henry knew when he was dying, and he used the knowledge to organise stuff that might happen after his death. He died in Clare's past, but Clare was not aware of that. In the end, he reappeared in his present, in Clare's and his daughter's arms. It's heartbreaking to see two people so in love having to leave each other, and it's so hard to be Clare, knowing when Henry was going to leave and die sometime in her past but being unable to help stop whatever it was that was making him go off or prevent his death. I can only imagine the helplessness Clare must have felt.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on how you see it, while Henry was alive, he time-travelled to the future sometimes, such that he could see his daughter as she was growing up, and at the last page, see Clare when she was 82, so it's abit like coming back from the dead to revisit his loved ones in their memory, though for him, it would have been all over, as the self that visited his loved ones was the self when he was alive. But maybe that is comforting for him, too, in the sense that he was able to see how his loved ones coped after his death, and somehow have a part in it.

Henry's daughter could time-travel, too, and she sometimes travelled into Henry's past to look at hime. Unfortunately, the time when she travelled to Henry's past was the time before she was born, so he could not recognise her, and also could not treasure the time she visited him to spend time with her. It's heart-wrenching too. Imagine a daughter visiting her father in his past after his death, and wanting to be close to him and telling him that she's his daughter, all the while knowing that she can't, because she can't defy history. But perhaps she is able to derive contentment from all these, because at least she can still see her father, touch him, perhaps talk to him, have some contact with him, rather than not being able to see him forever at all.

Perhaps my explanation of the story complicated your understanding of it, and made you decide not to read it. But I assure you, all will be understood after you read it, and you sure won't regret ever having set your eyes on the book.

Now, I should go back to devouring Ash Wednesday. It seems like a promising book!

Books!

I really really love books, especially storybooks, especially romance. Muahahaha, goodness knows why though, but I do.

I just bought three storybooks recently- The Time-Traveller's Wife, Lolita, and Ash Wednesday- and I've finished The Time-Traveller's Wife and am going on to Ash Wednesday now. The Time-Traveller's Wife was such a great story! Made every cent of it worth the money. I just finished it at 1 plus this afternoon, and I was crying all the way.

The Time-Traveller's Wife is a story about this guy Henry, whose genetic code has some problem, such that at sporadic intervals, he will travel through time to some time in his memory. For some reason, he often travels to his wife's- Clare's- past, back when she was a little girl, all the way till she was 18. Clare knew all about his life, and vice versa. Thing is, he visited her past when he was in his 30s and 40s, while he met her for real at 28, so when he met her for real, he didn't know who she was, but she had all those memories of him. It's kinda sad, but there's nothing both of them can do about it. It was touching, the way they loved each other. Whenever Henry was gone time-travelling, Clare would worry, and throughout the time Henry was visiting Clare's past, Clare had to understand that though they were married in the future, at the present Henry did not yet know of her existence, and thus was still leading a rather rakish life. Henry, on the other hand, had to understand that during the time he did not see Clare (from the time when Clare was 18 to 20, because during that time Henry did not appear anymore), Clare was free to see whoever she wanted, because while Clare was waiting for Henry to appear, Henry was still leading his own life without any awareness to Clare's existence, and surely Clare was free to lead her own life as normally as she could. It's kind of a twisted logic within the book, where it seems that past, present and future coexist at the same time. One can travel to the past and spend, like, a day there, and then go back to the present, where only about 10min was spent, so it's kinda like perceiving past and present as separated by many years, or a few minutes. At the last part, the part which I was reading this morning, Henry knew when he was dying, and he used the knowledge to organise stuff that might happen after his death. He died in Clare's past, but Clare was not aware of that. In the end, he reappeared in his present, in Clare's and his daughter's arms. It's heartbreaking to see two people so in love having to leave each other, and it's so hard to be Clare, knowing when Henry was going to leave and die sometime in her past but being unable to help stop whatever it was that was making him go off or prevent his death. I can only imagine the helplessness Clare must have felt.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on how you see it, while Henry was alive, he time-travelled to the future sometimes, such that he could see his daughter as she was growing up, and at the last page, see Clare when she was 82, so it's abit like coming back from the dead to revisit his loved ones in their memory, though for him, it would have been all over, as the self that visited his loved ones was the self when he was alive. But maybe that is comforting for him, too, in the sense that he was able to see how his loved ones coped after his death, and somehow have a part in it.

Henry's daughter could time-travel, too, and she sometimes travelled into Henry's past to look at hime. Unfortunately, the time when she travelled to Henry's past was the time before she was born, so he could not recognise her, and also could not treasure the time she visited him to spend time with her. It's heart-wrenching too. Imagine a daughter visiting her father in his past after his death, and wanting to be close to him and telling him that she's his daughter, all the while knowing that she can't, because she can't defy history. But perhaps she is able to derive contentment from all these, because at least she can still see her father, touch him, perhaps talk to him, have some contact with him, rather than not being able to see him forever at all.

Perhaps my explanation of the story complicated your understanding of it, and made you decide not to read it. But I assure you, all will be understood after you read it, and you sure won't regret ever having set your eyes on the book.

Now, I should go back to devouring Ash Wednesday. It seems like a promising book!

When all else fails...

Try getting sick. I swear, that's gotta be the fastest way to lose weight. I've been sick the past 2 weeks, so my appetite has been puny, and I think I've lost quite a bit of weight. At least, the tummy is decreasing in size... ;) Or maybe it's the constant violent coughing which is strengthening the stomach muscles. Now they're aching, and it's the sit-ups kind of stomach muscles pain.

Coughing is a pain. Mira says it's kinda irritating to hear the cough, coz it sounds serious, like I've got TB or something. Much as I hate to admit it, she's right. I find it irritating to cough too! It gets in the way when I'm talking, and can you imagine when I'm in a quiet place like the library?! That makes it worse coz when I start coughing, I don't stop for the next 10 seconds or so. If you're thinking 10 seconds isn't a very long time, well, it is....

Anyway, hopefully the cough goes away soon. I wanna start eating chocolates!!!!