Haha, how true are the results of the tests below? Gimme ur comments! =)

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment. They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How'>http://www.blogthings.com/howdopeopleseeyouquiz/">How Do People See You?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is low. Even if you're tempted, you'd try hard not to do it. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/keystoyourheartquiz/">What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

HOLIDAYS ARE HERE!

And I'm sooo ecstatic about it. Not that this break is gonna be a breeze though, coz it's not. There are projects to be done, reports and essays to be written, and.. *GASP* surprise of urprises! tests to study for! -_-" Oh well, on the bright side, at least it's one GLORIOUS week of no lessons and staying at home and being with family, even though their term will start again this week, and von is having her prelims. Argh. I shudder to think of the horror of prelims.

After a week of mad rush, the hols are a thankful reprieve i tell u. For the whole week, I've had 6 1/2 hours of sleep practically everyday. All thanks to the variation of the stroop project that we had to carry out. The project's not finished yet, though. There's still a report to be done and a presentation to prepare for. Thank goodness I've got wonderful groupmates. Haha, they are a wonderful bunch- lame, good-natured, responsible. I hope we end up in the same tutorial group again next sem and the subsequent years. Though everyday is a race with time to get our project in shape, there're always laughs to share, which makes the whole process much more bearable and enjoyable. Love it. =)

I wanna watch the netball finals of Singapore vs Malaysia. Netball's quite fun to watch- fast-paced action. Whoever said netball's for sissies is a dumb duck.

I'm still trying to bully my heart into starting on my holiday homework, but it's bullying me back by forcing my brain to send messages to my fingers to start blogging and talking (basically doing anything that doesn't involve studying), and so far, my brain has been succumbing. Not that it doesn't know that it's succumbing. It just enjoys the pleasures of doing nothing. Well, no sirreee! Not anymore! Going out with Jinghua today, so I guess if I wanna have a guilt-free and happy time out, I better get started. Looking forward to the high tea tomorrow too!! YAY!!!

It's 2340 hours, and I'm not asleep yet. Not that I dunno why, but it's coz I'm so fed up with the stupid software that I'm supposed to download to carry out my group's experiments. Yah. And darling Yi Lun is helping me design the logo and the biz card for DAC. Really grateful to her for that.

I know I should be sleeping, but I keep having this feeling like there's something I haven't done yet. It's getting on my nerves. I know there are alot of things I haven't done yet, but this nagging feeling feels important. Can't put my finger to it though. Projects are pouring in like nobody's business already, and I'm swimming in them now. Not to mention the extra readings that I've gotta do. Finally caught up with HP101 (Intro to Psych), and slightly ahead in HP200 (Stats in Psych Research), but behind in HP102 (Research Methods in Psych - *yawn*). Yah, and how bout my electives?! And the activities that I joined. Is this just a teething problem, or is this a bad omen of things to come?

Oh cripes. I haven't come up with a criteria and questions to ask the interviewees. SHeesh!! I gotta think about it tmr after my lecture. Oh, one bright spot for tmr. Watching From Hell, a movie with Johnny Depp inside. Yay! Love his acting. I hope I understand the deeper insinuations of the movie. As advised by Dr Chan my lecturer, DON'T TRUST WHAT THE DIRECTOR SHOWS YOU. That's what he says to think whenever we watch movies *shrugs*. That way, he says, we'll get more from the movie.

Oh before I go, THANK YOU Xue Fang, for giving me ideas for the variable ratio schedule!! =)

My week

Alot of things have happened this week-

Mon: went for NTU's 50th anniversary, but we didn stay to watch FIR's performance. Pity, that, cos I heard they performed 6 songs. Nonetheless, I don't really regret it lar. We had to stand for so long, and the ppl kept asking us to stay at the side. One moment they told us to move to the left, the next they told us to move to the right. Well done. Who do we listen to then?

Tues: first Deli Aprecio Club (DAC) meeting. Interesting. We have to come up with designs for the club logo, come up with the Club's slogan, vision, mission and values. And subcomm recruitment is on Tues, 730 pm. Anyone interested in joining publications? Just come find me. Which brings me to another point: the criteria regarding the members for my subcomm, and I gotta figure out how often to hold the meetings. Oh, and questions to ask the interviewees. Oh man. I've never done this before. Can someone advise me pls?!?!?!

Wed: Nothing much, just the usual weekly torturous Wednesday, with 3 consecutive lectures dragging over a space of 6 hours. And when I say consecutive, I do mean CONSECUTIVE. Seriously, the only thing that I look forward to at the end of Wednesday is its end and dinner with Jieting and her rommate Shijia. Haha, it's great to dine with them. Can talk to them and unwind and gossip. I feel relaxed in their company. Oh, and if Dr Kenneth Chan is screening movies, yep, then that's another thing that I look forward to, just that I find that I seem to be unable to understand the movies more and more. Is it because I'm pressurizing myself to see things? Or issit that I just can't grasp what Dr Chan is trying to teach us? Or is it that what I watch is entirely beyond my schema of knowledge- gayism, the male gaze, or the cinematic gaze?

Thurs: Watched Jean Cocteau's Beauty and the Beast (or La Belle et La Bete). Wonderful movie, though there was a constant tendency to compare it to Disney's version. This version seems more magical, more realistic than Disney's and much darker. Oh, and rather hilarious too. The actions of Belle (Josette Day) was so over the top. The perfect swoon- fainting but not causing pain or bruise to any part of her body, AKA gently falling down while fainting- the classic female putting her hands to her forehead... well, u get the idea. Her face always seemed to be glowing too. Haha. Just learnt the term today. Her face looks like it just came straight out of a vermeer painting. An example of that is the picture below, done by Johannes Vermeer, a Dutch painter. This painting should be familiar. It's The Girl With the Pearl Earring. I meant to watch the movie, but I was in hall. Argh. OK, here's the picture:


Credits to Johannes Vermeer and http://www.about-vermeer-art.com/vermeer/vermeer-posters/poster.html?id=1

Cool movie.

Fri: Need I say more? I can come home!! Today was an unusually long Friday though. Had to do 2 project discussions for Psychology. Luckily one of them was quickly done, which is a load off the shoulders- nonetheless, I'm getting worried. Info seems to be processing in my head at an unusually slow pace. I can't really catch up with what the tutor is saying when she teaches the SPSS file. Darn. I keep forgetting the steps, and I don't even know what the split file is for. Crap. I don't know what to use what for. Argh. I hope my friend can get hold of the SPSS prog and I can borrow to practise. The other... I have to ponder the project again. Seems like I didn't contribute much to the project this time. I hate not being able to contribute to project. Shall see what ideas or what I can do for the project tomorrow. Hopefully I can come up with something.

I have to sleep early tonight... My new plan is to sleep early on weekends and HOPEFULLY wake up early the next morning so I can get an early start on the day. Let's hope my new resolution stays.....

Variable-ratio Schedule

It's now 940pm, and I still haven thought of what is it in our everyday life that's a variable-ratio schedule. A variable-ratio schedule is a timetable in which behaviours are rewarded an average number of times but on an unpredictable basis. An example of that would be like a slot machine which might pay off at an average of every 20th time, but the gambler doesn't know when this payoff will be. The slot machine might pay off twice in a row and then not again until after 58 coins have been inserted. This averages out to a reward every 20 behavioural acts, but when the reward will be given is unpredictable. This schedule produces high, steady rates of behaviour that are more resistant to extinction.... So can anyone tell me what might constitute a variable-ratio schedule?!

I have decided that I'm not gonna waste my life thinking bout it. I've got other things to do like catch up on m reading of the textbooks... oh man.. i'm soooo way behind... So if anyone's got any idea, pls pls PLS tag!!!

American Horror Film

Here I am, at 2332 hours, fighting a war between my brain and my eyes- the brain is saying I have to keep awake to read this ghastly article, while my eyes are insisting on closing. Mark my words, when I finish reading this article, the war will be the other way round. Is this the natural act of nature or issit just me? Anyway, I'm still awake, and not even halfway thru this reading of the American Horror Film, where Freud and Marx come into play. It's a whopping 28 pages long, and I've only reached the *GASP!* 4th pg of it. How wonderful can I get I wonder. So what am I doing online? Frankly, I don't know. I guess I just can't take in anymore information. The gist of whatever I'm reading so far is that the American Horror Film plays on the subject of "The Other", which is whatever we are trying to repress but appears in the subconscious of our mind. Hence Freud. BUT, where does Marx come in? I don't quite understand how he fits in with his bourgeois capitalism theory, but, there u have it. Yah, so from what I've read so far, it seems like the American horror films play on these 2 to bring about fear in us. Yep. That's what I've gathered so far. Will update u on what it's about if and when I finally understand it. Don't bet ur money on it.

Thoughts about my family

I realise I am one lucky girl to have such a wonderful family that supports me in whatever I do, and try their best to help me achieve it. I have always known it, but often take it for granted. It was only just now in the car ride that it finally dawned on me that I had never acknowledged it.

Regardless of the fact that my parents wanted me to go into the Science stream or do Chinese or Econs in Uni, they supported the choices I made, even though at times, it looked as if I HAD made the wrong decision. Like entering the Arts stream instead of Science. I know my mother was disappointed at my choice because she felt that as a Science teacher, her children had better chances of doing well in the Science stream as she could at least help a little in our doubts. Arts? She had no idea what was going on there. Nonetheless, she continued to show me support by never showing what she truly thought of it. The only way I knew of her thoughts was through my father. I guess I disappointed him too, by absolutely discarding the idea of taking Chinese and Econs in the U, which he reckoned were the 2 fields in Arts which had the biggest career advantage. Instead, I chose to take Psychology, a field few people know about. He supportd me in this, and heped me gaher info about the course. He was also the one who talked my mother round when I decided to take Arts instead of Science. Though my As results were anything but spectacular, I'm really glad they had not forced me into what they wanted me to be. For that, I'm really sorry that I had to go and do averagely in the exams. They allowed me to do what I had an interest in, and encouraged my every decision. Even when they thought that it was an unwise move, they encouraged me on, saying that it was a learning point, and it happened for a reason. That was what happened when I entered TPJC instead of TJC. I know they were disappointed, but they consoled me by saying everything happens for a reason. I think they were right in that sense, cos I have a feeling that if I had really gone on to TJC, I wouldn't be where I am and what I am now. They never looked at me any differently or with regret whenever they recalled that I was in TPJC and not some other JC they wanted me to go

Of course, I'm not forgetting about Von and Lun. They have been my confidantes, and my advisors. Haha, Lun, I'm not forgetting that comment you made to Lijun about us not needing any mirror coz u are one for us. Whatever fear I have, they would try to dispel it for me, listening to me, and trying to help in any way they can. I remember how Lun often stayed up and put her work aside to help me work out my speech and listen to the way I presented and gave opinions about how I sounded. Granted, oftentimes her comments were uneasy to bear, but I know they were given that way because she's my sister and she saw no need to hide anything from me. Need I say that my presentations always went smoothly? =) She was the one who also made me face my fear head on, like the elections for DAC the other day. I was already planning to withdraw from the elections, and was still internally debating (though I was sure at that point in time that I was gonna withdraw), when she urged me to go ahead with it and just try it out. Even after I agreed to continue with it, she could see that I wasnt really keen on it, so she reprimanded me. Yah, I know, it's kinda mei da mei xiao to acty reprimand ur elder sister, but that was done to wake me up I guess. As for Von, I'm grateful to her for listening to me, esp during the days and the minutes b4 the DAC elections. She REMEMBERED to sms me to check on how I was- I guess she somehow knew I was almost a wreck as the time grew nearer to the elections. It was great to receive her msg and I tell you, I really smiled when I saw the msg "Hello! How are you?" A simple msg, but the timing and the thought counted.

But what actually made me write this post was what happened yesterday. We were moving the fridge into my hostel room. I wasn't the one who carried the fridge. Evon was. Everyone else was helping to carry the other stuff up. It was, like, logically speaking, the fridge is supposed to be for me, and I should be the one to carry it. Nonetheless, she knew that me carrying it was abit too much to ask for, so she automatically helped me to carry it. My father helped her too. The main point of the trip yesterday was the fridge, and I ended up not carrying it. Also, the fact that my father is so willing to drive me up to NTU every Monday to drop me off and coming up with me to make sure everything is all right, regardless of the fact that he's late for work every Monday. He helps carry so much of my stuff.

All the actions carried out by my family came so naturally to them, that there was never a second thought about doing them, and that's what makes the actions much more valuable and memorable than anything else. It is this selfless giving, I guess, that makes many say that "Blood is thicker than water", and "Home is where the heart is". Now I fully understand the implications of these words. I sometimes wonder: my family does so much for me, what have I done for them that is truly memorable?

This entry sounds very heavy doesn't it? It sounds like I'm putting my life out for all to see, and my family for all to evaluate. But I AM grateful for all that they have done for me. =)

The Past

I'm beginning to hate thinking about the past. It's always, "I should have done this, I shouldn't have done that". Well, I know as well as anyone does that there's NOTHING I can do about it, so why can't it leave me alone?

Home Sweet Home!

I'm HOME!! IT'S FRIDAY!! Haha, I just love Fridays, coz it's when I finally come home man... Can sleep in my own bed, can eat homecooked food, and best of all, I'm with my family! Haha... though we call each other everyday, I still think there's a distance between us. Probably it's psychological, but it is hard to talk on the phone. I dun really like to talk on the phone- I can't hear things clearly, and alot of the times, I'm really afraid I might misinterpret what some ppl tell me over the phone, or I say something else which is totally irrelevant to what they had just told me over the phone. Yep, so next time if I keep asking you to repeat yourself over the phone, please be patient with me ok? It's not that I was not paying attention; rather, I couldn hear you very clearly over the phone, and probably needed some time to understand what you were saying, so pls excuse me if I keep quiet for a while after listening to u. =)

Alot of ppl have been feeling stressed out these days. I think it's coz work is finally catching up with us, and what we are learning is really getting tougher and tougher. Like the Stats module for Psych. I initially thought that I would be able to handle it coz in JC, Stats was pretty standard format, and I thought I had understood the concepts needed to do the questions. Boy, am I wrong. Well, maybe not wrong in my method of doing things, but perhaps in the understanding of the methods and the symbols. Usually we just talked about X and X bar without really knowing what they stood for. Now, I find that I actually have to know them in order to know what the heck the textbook is talking about. Sure I know what they are referring to, but it takes me quite some time to understand which symbol they are talking about when they use the words instead of the symbols. Worse still is when they phrase it in another way, and I have to go thru another round of "analysis". Hmm, this makes me wonder if I should just forget what I learned in JC and just concentrate on what I'm learning now, or if I should look back on my notes. The situation is the same as what's happening in the "Basic Maths for Economists" module. The maths is simple, yes, but the way the lecturer teaches kind of makes me feel like whatever Maths I learned in JC has been uprooted, but nothing has been planted back in its place. I mean, even the way he teaches simple differentiation makes me think, "Have I really learned this before?" and thus makes me doubt myself, even though I'm very very sure that I have not learned it that way before. Or maybe it's a sense of insecurity at work here. Hmm....

Time really flies man... It's already 9 something. I think I better go do finish up one of the chapts i'm supposed to be doing, so HOPEFULLY I can have some time to myself to do some SHOPPING!! Haha, looking at everyone's clothes in NTU just makes me wanna do more shopping. It's the fun of looking at new stuff and acquiring it and actually finding good buys that makes the whole experience so fun. Haha, I wonder y some guys actually question why we girls like shopping... =)

Visual Illusions and Others...

Haha, today's Intro to Psychology tutorial on visual perceptions was cool! very interesting. So much so that I started to see illusions everywhere for the first part of the morning, like how the cut grass on the slopes look like they had been cut in steps in comparison with the uncut grass below them. Too bad i dun have a digital camera with me, or I would have taken the photo for u to see.

Oh yah, special thanks to Bernice Jie Jie, for her picture from her blog. It caused alot of interest among the class when I showed it. All of them were intrigued by the manipulation of the ball... Haha, incidentally, the perceptual concepts here are actually quite a few. Let me try to explain it here. Firstly, there was the figure-ground relationship between Bernice JieJie and her bf and the ball in question. When we look at the picture, we are first unable to tell how far away the ball is, and how near they are to the ball. And besides, we are unable to judge it also because we are unfamiliar with the place- it's beyond our experience. But we can judge the distance roughly by comparing it with the buildings and the trees in the background. therefore, it looks nearer to us. And besides, if u'll look closely at the picture-esp the one with Bernice Jiejie, the size of the ball is just the 'right' size to hold in the hand, which makes the illusion even more believable. The one with her bf is believable when looked at from a distance, but up close, the ball looks a tad too big... hee.. =) nonetheless, the pics were a huge success. Haha... Hmm, about the other perceptual concepts involved, I'll have to ask my tutor about it again, or discuss with my classmates. Still a little woozy on that. Paiseh.

"Others" in my title referred to the lecture we had later in the day. Again it was "Intro to Psychology". Only this time, it's regarding Memory. Cool. Why do I mention it here? Well, it seems that I have an inclination to 'apply' wat I have learnt to things that are happening to me. Erm, it's crap lar actually, haha... coz when I wasnt listening and my friends asked me wat was going on, i just said, "I dunno. Information wasnt encoded in my memory." "Encoding" here refers to getting the information we receive from our surroundings into our memory, and one of the reasons y we dun remember info at times is coz we never pay attention to it, hence the info doesn get encoded into our hard drive. It was just stored in our "temporary folders" in our head for like, 1 or 2 seconds, then POOF! gone.

Argh there's a quiz soon, and its 6 chapters!! Wat am i gonna do?!?!?!?!?!? seems like it's 80 mcq qns. MCQs might sound easy, but they NEVER are. The answers are always so damn close to each other its irritating.

Ok i gtg study already!! i have to have some life outside of studying... oh man....

It's Monday, and I'm back in my hostel! It's been a whole flurry of activity since I came in this morning. First it was to set up the printer, unpack my bags, tidy up the room, then it was rushing off to the Media Resource Library to go view Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho. It's old-fashioned acting, where the actors are quite conservative, but the plot... well, it was good. Not that we hadn't been suspecting what was happening all along, but the real story was a little more sinister than what we had been expecting all along. Too lazy to type the story here though, so I guess if u are interested in it, go watch it! It's a good movie. =) Oh, then after the movie was back to lecture, then now I'm back in the hostel. Later at 7 is the rotaract club meeting, which I'm supposed to attend. Tomorrow's one is also the Rotaract club meeting, but it's the AGM this time. Not sure when the first meeting of Deli Aprecio club's is though, but i suspect it's sometime this week or next week.

I hope the HP101 assignment which I have done is fine... It's supposed to be something about perception, and I chose to do something about spelling... u know, like how we can recognise the first and last alphabets in a word and still know what word it is even though the middle alphabets are mixed up? yah, I'm trying to use that, but I'm not quite sure how to explain how our brain perceives this. I believe it's got sth to do with watever I'm trying to show though.

OOPS!! it's 6:12 already. I better try to get some shut eye first. I think it's gonna be a long day... not gonna slp till 12 plus again today. Anyone online who sees me can msg me! =)

Whew!

It was a worry all for naught. In the end, I didn't need to present my speech, and I got the post. That's coz I was the only contender for the post of publications. It feels rather anticlimatic though, that I got the post without fighting for it, all the while thinking that other ppl would get it rather than me. And also, I don't quite know what to feel now that I have got the post I applied for. It feels... unreal somehow, and a bit fake, kinda like I got the post thru a fluke and that post simply should not belong to me. However, I'm quite happy, coz i can get the chance to experience this sort of thing. I just hope this goes well for the year that I'm supposed to be in charge of publications for the club. *crosses fingers* I also feel a weird sense of being overwhelmed. I've never taken up this kind of post before, and while I know what is expected of me, I've never had the experience and don't quit know what I'm supposed to do. So.... all in all.... I think I still haven't come to terms with it yet. i'm praying real hard that I won't do anything to screw this up. It's a larger scale than what I've been used to, so I guess it's more challenging.

Ok.. I've gotta go. All in all, things are going.... just fine, esp today. It's Friday! And the tension that has been dogging me this past week is gone, and I no longer have the lonely feelig looming over me. That feels sooooo great I tell u. "Nobody wants to be lonely/ Nobody wants to cry" I always thought that song was for lovers, but now, I really see the significant of those 2 lines. Haha... =)

HOME SWEET HOME!!!

just some thoughts running thru my head.. =)

finally managed to put up a post on my tagboard. goodness, i've been trying to do that for the past week i tell u... haha... so, bell, now u know y there hasn been any response to ur tag but there have been posts up. =)

*drumroll* today is THE day!! yep, i hope the time for the tea session passes faster, and 3 1/2 hours will just zooooooom by... I'm crossing my fingers... cant sms either, coz there's no reception in the rooms where the elections are taking place. Smart ah the organisers? now that's a sure way of ensuring that we mingle and make friends. haha...

i just realised it's gonna be a long day for me today... lessons technically end at 230 later, but i arranged with Eriennd to watch "Lola" from 2.30 to 430, so that slot's taken up, so it's only from 430 onwards that i'll be free. technically once again, coz the tea session starts at 630, so basically i have abt an hour to rest, then the rest of the time will be.... well, i'll update u tmr. =)

Yay! it's thurs! i'll be able to go back home tmr! can't wait. though the only bright spot about going home is the fact tt i can see my family. I still have sooooo many readings to do! if only i had read the correct chapt for hp101, i'd be ahead by now! -_-" oh well, no use lamenting. I've gotta try harder to get ahead again.

ok i gtg... lessons starting in half an hour's time and i'm in the north spine. seriously i've been doing lots of walking these 2 days. yesterday i walked from north spine to south spine and back again... today coz i couldn get the shuttle bus i had to walk from my hall to S4. And the thing is, i'm sure there's a short cut somewhere, just that i dunno how to use it, and i dunno where the shortcut is. IF ANYONE KNOWS OF ANY SHORTCUT FROM HALL 6 TO THE SOUTH SPINE OR NORTH SPINE PLEASE INFORM ME!!!!!!

Jieting, here's the lyrics to the song i put on my blog... haha.... =)

"Bless The Broken Road"
I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

Great. Now they tell me I can bring supporters along tmr for the elections. But who's free? I'm sure not many ppl will wanna stay till 10pm when there's no more shuttle bus! argh. that leaves me with no supporters. oh man... I feel so lonely man... anyone free from 6.30 to 10 pm tmr? come support me? but i think by the time this post is read i'd have finished my campaign. I just hope there's no more Q&A tmr. i dun think i can handle anymore interviews. heh. And i can';t imagine interacting or mingling with ppl i have nvr seen. true, i have been doing that since the start of the sch term, but this feels like when i was in HL803 the first day, when i sat alone and just went thru the lesson on my own. ok i'm self-pitying. i feel so pathetic!!! WHY OH WHY did i open my itchy mouth to say that i'm still interested in the main comm thing?!!?!?!? I'm scared of tmr man... really really scared. NOT only coz i'll be alone, but also because i dunno wat to expect. the fear of the unknown? perhaps. the fear of the consequences? maybe. how how how?! no friends, no supporters.... NOW i know how outcasts feel.

OOOOOHHHH!!! Pray hard that i dun do anything silly to humiliate myself and pray hard for me that the audience will be nice and at least clap when i've finished my speech k? =)

I'm now in my hostel's computer lab, blogging. Haha, can't help it. I feel like I'm so cut off from the rest of civilisation that i MUST have some way of reminding u all that I'm still around... somewhere.... haha.. ok i'm being too overdramatic.=)

Actually, the primary reason for coming to the comp lab was to check up details regarding the post I'm running for. Yep, u heard rite. I'm joining an election for the main comm and MAN! Am I so regretting it right now. Argh. I flopped spectacularly at the iterview, and now i'm running for the elections. I was very tempted to withdraw from it at first, but after thinking bout it carefully and with von and lun's persuasion, I decided to stay on. Not to see if I could salvage anything, but for the experience and for the fact that withdrawing would be a cowardly thing to do. So. Back to the topic again. I went online to look for info regarding the post I'm running for. Unfortunately, while there is a website, there is NO info AT ALL. CRIPESS!!!! So I guess I'll just have to crap my way thru on Thurs. Serene suggested that I tell them why they should vote for me by saying wat i can do for the club.Thing is, I dunno wat they really do!! oh man... this sucks... I know... I suck too, in that I dun even know wat's the job scope for wat i'm running for. But it's Publications! wat else do u do but write and publish events that the club organises? and maybe include a few interviews of chefs etc and mebbe come up with recipes and stuff? I can't think of what else the club's Publications dept doesn have that i can do for it. Any suggestions anyone?

Or maybe I should just go in with watever i have prepared. After all, it's not likely that ppl will remember me if i dun get elected, rite? and if i do get elected, that would mean that my speech was the right formula, wouldn't it? Yup. I'm just gonna go in like that. I need to find out where the Student Activities Centre is though. Argh. 630 to 10 on thurs!!! I guess I should be glad that it's a thurs, so i can go home on fri and spend the weekend licking my wounds then come back to the hostel fresh again. haha, and on the bright side, at least this is not some BIG event in NTU, or anything like the General Elections. ppl get rejected all the time, and on much larger scales than mine. Look at Andrew Kwan. Last i heard, he was rejected by the election panel but he still wanted to carry on. U gotta admire him for that. I'll get through this. I guess what's making me apprehensive is the fact that my personal pride will be dented. True, many ppl have been rejected before, and on much larger scale than what i will bve going thru, but when one is the one going thru it, does one ever think about wat happened to tt other person who got rejected on a larger scale? though the thot that others have gone thru this b4, i guess what i have to get past will be my personal embarrassment. Haha.... narrow-minded? myopic? perhaps.

Oops. It's getting dark already.. better go bathe first before it gets darker or later. I dun like to bathe alone in the hostel when it's late or dark. Scary.

Ok! 3- no, about to be 2 more days to friday! yay!!

yay! I've got my laptop finally!! Haha.. i'm using it now to blog, and trying to get used to it. It came with a free optical mouse which is in red (quite gorgeous i might add haha.. ) and a free thumb drive and a bluetooth adapter thing... oh, and a bag which i can use to carry home on weekends. It can hold bth books and the laptop, which is quite cool, except i think it'll make me look like one of the ninja turtles... =)

Oh yah, Laura, u told me to post some things regarding psychology? Well, are u ready? Psychology isn't all ur impression tells u that it is. Anlaysis of behaviour is only one of the many aspects of Psychology that we have to study. The main components are Bio and Maths. Well, now i know why one of the prerequisites for doing Psych is having a good pass in Maths- ALOT of statistics will be used. We have a whole module on that. Yah, and not to mention a whole module on research methods. So, if you thought psych was mainly analysing... well, you're only right bout a part of it. It's alot of science involved. But it's still interesting! As you learn more things thru the bio side, you tend to go, "Oh! No wonder this happens to me!" or "OMG is that even possible?!" yah, u tend to appreciate ur brain a whole lot more. Haha... So, Laura, if you are still interested in Psych, remember to do well in ur sci! Especially Bio! Oh, and Maths. =) Did i mention that students taking "Introduction to Psychology" have to take part in Research Programmes? Yep, we do, and i think it's quite cool actually, to be able to take part in research and thus learn what it really is about, and what researchers actually do. While i think the idea is cool, I'm a little apprehensive about my ability to do it well. I mean, this is totally new to me, so i hope during the course of my participation, i won't become the usually blur and forgetful me who mixes up everything or forgets something important or mix up some data- generally to screw things up. So wish me all the best, won't you? Oh, Laura, don't let what i said frighten you bout Psych! If you have background in Bio, particularly O Level one, you should be able to cope just fine. Believe me! =)

Ok, Jiun Pey told me my previous blog posts were very depressing to read. Haha, I do apologise for it, and now, I'm better!! I feel better bout staying in hostel already. Think it just required some getting used to, and I think i've just about gotten the hang of it, though I still do think of my family. Hmm, but i think the busy schedule and the whole lot of readings i have to do will kinda distract me from thinking of them, and besides, I've got my laptop! Oh, and my laptop's name is Compuu. You know, Compuu the Computer? Yah yah, go ahead and laugh, haha, you must be snorting with laughter now at the silly name, but well, we (von, lun and i) realised that we call all our pets by wat they are- Peke the Pekingese, Schnoozee the Schnauzer, Terry and Pippin the Terrappins.... yah, you get the idea. So I was too lazy to think of a name, and thus von came up with this ingenius name. It IS silly, so i dun blame you for ur amusement. haha.. =)

Ok, I gtg back to doing my readings... 20 something pages, and i have to get started on my proj, and i have to read another book, and i have to re read the prev chapter so i know wat's going on during my discussion on mon. Do u know, i STUPIDLY arranged for a meeting with my groupmates on mon, conveniently forgetting that there is a screening of Lola at that time?!?!?! I could just slap myself. ARGH now i have to watch it on my own. I amaze myself sometimes. Oh, speaking of amazing myself, go watch "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" starring Marilyn Monroe and Jane Russell. A GOOD movie,very funny, but it makes you think... Go watch! =)

I still haven't got my laptop. And I'm sure getting real frustrated here. I have got other things ready, but the main character is not here yet, so just what can i do with a printer and a laptop lock I would like to know?!

I just watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory! Oooh it's a good movie. Full house somemore, and several were adult audiences. I guess that is so coz many of us grew up with Roald Dahl, and many of us were intrigued by the idea of a chocolate river, and the boat made of boiled candy, Oompa-Loompas etc that we just had to see it. I think this version is great. Charlie is exactly as I imagined him to look like, as was Grandpa Joe. Veruca Salt and Augustus Gloop were well-chosen, though I kinda think Augustus Gloop looks quite fake. Anyway, I think Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka was a really good choice. He was every bit the Willy Wonka I imagined- witty, sarcastic, eccentric. But I think Johnny Depp added dimension to the character of Wonka, by his facial expressions that seemed to suggest more than what he was saying (of course, I say this because I was unable to actually imagine Willy Wonka's actual expressions when he was talking in the story. I could only take his words in the book at face-value....). As you may have heard many people saying already, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (CCF) is not all candies and children and fun. There is a dark side to it, suggested first by the burning up of the dolls that were singing "Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka.." That scene was so reminiscent of Happy Tree Friends- so innocently cute, then they start catching fire due to some malfunction of the system (or was it?), then the dolls start to melt, and the music becomes like that of a spoilt recorder. AND THEN Willy Wonka appears beside the visitors, clapping enthusiastically like the whole show went according to plan, including the burnt dolls and spoilt music. His pleasure at that was kinda disturbing, together with the beginning part of the dolls getting spoilt of course. I felt like it was a hint that behind a facade of sweetness, innocence and supposed paradise, there lies an uglier truth, which in my opinion seems to be that Willy Wonka became such a successful chocolatier because of the repression (imposed by his father) he went thru when he was young. He wasn't allowed to eat sweets or chocolates or anything that was remotely sweet. I think the problem didn't totally lie in the fact that his father was a dentist; I think it was more so the fact that his father was a "famous dentist". So... u know, the image that he has to live up to as a famous dentist, might make him feel compelled to make sure his son doesn't have any cavities? That's my speculation. But anyway, I digress. It was a somewhat controlled childhood Willy Wonka had when he was a child, which caused him to grow up disliking adults and link them with authority, control, and stifling of creativity, and thereby disliking even the word "parents". And it was shown several times, that Wonka's past was haunting him, making him unhappy.

Another part that was a little disturbing (but quite amusing) was that Wonka seemingly goaded the children into getting into trouble. He never did seem to actually forcefully stop the children from doing watever they were determined to do. He appeared quite uncaring of what was going to happen to the children, in fact. Not that I was particularly concerned for those children, coz they were really brats, but, thing is, like the Veruca Salt incident- it was sooo obvious that he was taking his own time to find the key. And when he did find it, it was after Veruca was long gone, and the key had been put into the key-hole. He only turned it AFTER Veruca had disappeared, which soooo totally suggest that he planned it.

While watching the movie, it occurred to me that many events in Roald Dahl's story was reflective of children's mentality. Let's not talk bout his other books. Let's just focus on CCF. Don't you think many of the concepts in the story are reminiscent of what we thought about things when we were young? Like the television chocolate. When you were young, didn't you ever think why objects on tv looked so much smaller than real life, and haven you always wondered and fantasised about being able to reach into the tv to grab watever it is that you fancied? And the whipped cream thing. "Whipped cream is not whipped cream unless it has been whipped with whips" (or somethign like that) Haven't you ever wondered about stuff like that? I guess that's why Roald Dahl's books are such a hit. They verbalise what we children always fantasized or thought about, and make it into a story, and because it's like how we always imagined it to be, we kinda identify with it. Haha...

okok i know i'm getting carried away with it. There's just so much to say bout the movie! haha, I wouldn mind watching it one more time... haha.. =)

On to another issue that's been bugging me. Can a person change so much over a short period of time, say, less than a yr? I still find it hard to believe that someone who was well-mannered, filial, respectful and responsible turned into the opposite because of her peers and her bf. I mean, how is it possible that she could learn to despise her own roots and her father in less than a year? A period of time less than a year versus almost 18 years of her life. Wouldn't that 18 yrs be more than enough to prove her judgement wrong? I'm not trying to be moralistic here. I'm just surprised at the change which can overcome a person because of peer influence, and I'm trying to make sense of it all, because I feel that a person like her is simply too innocent for that. Or maybe it's coz I dun often keep in contact with her. No, make that no contact, unless its the times that she comes over for a holiday, and the last time was wat, 6 years or more ago? But from all accounts prior to this, she was a responsible and damn good sister, so this sudden news about her came as a shock, and I really feel very inclined to just ignore it all, simply because its NOT HER. Oh well, if this is true, I sure hope that it's just a phase that she's going through, otherwise it's very painful for her parents, and I think for her too.......

It's getting late... almost 12 already... Happy National Day in advance!

Zooming By....

OK, I only have less than 15 min to type, and MAN! My fingers have been itching to type to blog since Mon, but I've been too lazy to go downstairs to the comp room to use the computer, AND my laptop hasnt arrived yet, which makes the whole thing even more dandy. LAst week they told me it would take bout a week for it to arrive, so i went out and got the necessary equipment. NOW they tell me I have to wait 14 working days to get my laptop. And i was SO hoping to be able to bring it home this week and get the system up and running by next wk. -_-"

Cant blog much, just to say that I think I've gotten the hang of staying by myself here in the hostel. Dun think i'm too independent yet, coz i haven got round to washing my clothes myself(i'll get ther one day), but at least i dun feel as homesick as last week, and not as pessimisstic. For that I'm glad. Someone told me, "Move with change and enjoy it!" oh well, I'm trying to do this as best i can. I think with time I'll improve. =) wish me luck!

Went to the rotaract club tea session on mon, ended up missing the shuttle, so i had to walk home. argh. do u know wat time that was?! it was 9 something! close to 10 already, and the streets are quite dark, but for a few streetlights put up qutie a dist away from each other. one would thing the ntu personnel thought we had cats' eyes or something. then tues was ALMOST a repeat, as i went to attend the rotaract club's main comm interview. alas, it was not meant to be, coz i arived late and hence had to be the 35th person to be interviewed when it was only the NINTH person at that time. so, afraid of missing the shuttle and bathing extremely late and facing the prospect of having to blow dry my hair at an ungodly hour and risk killing my brain cells in the process, i decided to go back and go for the subcomm one next week. wish me luck for that! i'm more keen on the sub comm anyway. haha...

ok gtg. i'll be home tml! then i can blog in comfort......