It's now 940pm, and I still haven thought of what is it in our everyday life that's a variable-ratio schedule. A variable-ratio schedule is a timetable in which behaviours are rewarded an average number of times but on an unpredictable basis. An example of that would be like a slot machine which might pay off at an average of every 20th time, but the gambler doesn't know when this payoff will be. The slot machine might pay off twice in a row and then not again until after 58 coins have been inserted. This averages out to a reward every 20 behavioural acts, but when the reward will be given is unpredictable. This schedule produces high, steady rates of behaviour that are more resistant to extinction.... So can anyone tell me what might constitute a variable-ratio schedule?!
I have decided that I'm not gonna waste my life thinking bout it. I've got other things to do like catch up on m reading of the textbooks... oh man.. i'm soooo way behind... So if anyone's got any idea, pls pls PLS tag!!!
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
American Horror Film
Here I am, at 2332 hours, fighting a war between my brain and my eyes- the brain is saying I have to keep awake to read this ghastly article, while my eyes are insisting on closing. Mark my words, when I finish reading this article, the war will be the other way round. Is this the natural act of nature or issit just me? Anyway, I'm still awake, and not even halfway thru this reading of the American Horror Film, where Freud and Marx come into play. It's a whopping 28 pages long, and I've only reached the *GASP!* 4th pg of it. How wonderful can I get I wonder. So what am I doing online? Frankly, I don't know. I guess I just can't take in anymore information. The gist of whatever I'm reading so far is that the American Horror Film plays on the subject of "The Other", which is whatever we are trying to repress but appears in the subconscious of our mind. Hence Freud. BUT, where does Marx come in? I don't quite understand how he fits in with his bourgeois capitalism theory, but, there u have it. Yah, so from what I've read so far, it seems like the American horror films play on these 2 to bring about fear in us. Yep. That's what I've gathered so far. Will update u on what it's about if and when I finally understand it. Don't bet ur money on it.
Monday, August 29, 2005
Thoughts about my family
I realise I am one lucky girl to have such a wonderful family that supports me in whatever I do, and try their best to help me achieve it. I have always known it, but often take it for granted. It was only just now in the car ride that it finally dawned on me that I had never acknowledged it.
Regardless of the fact that my parents wanted me to go into the Science stream or do Chinese or Econs in Uni, they supported the choices I made, even though at times, it looked as if I HAD made the wrong decision. Like entering the Arts stream instead of Science. I know my mother was disappointed at my choice because she felt that as a Science teacher, her children had better chances of doing well in the Science stream as she could at least help a little in our doubts. Arts? She had no idea what was going on there. Nonetheless, she continued to show me support by never showing what she truly thought of it. The only way I knew of her thoughts was through my father. I guess I disappointed him too, by absolutely discarding the idea of taking Chinese and Econs in the U, which he reckoned were the 2 fields in Arts which had the biggest career advantage. Instead, I chose to take Psychology, a field few people know about. He supportd me in this, and heped me gaher info about the course. He was also the one who talked my mother round when I decided to take Arts instead of Science. Though my As results were anything but spectacular, I'm really glad they had not forced me into what they wanted me to be. For that, I'm really sorry that I had to go and do averagely in the exams. They allowed me to do what I had an interest in, and encouraged my every decision. Even when they thought that it was an unwise move, they encouraged me on, saying that it was a learning point, and it happened for a reason. That was what happened when I entered TPJC instead of TJC. I know they were disappointed, but they consoled me by saying everything happens for a reason. I think they were right in that sense, cos I have a feeling that if I had really gone on to TJC, I wouldn't be where I am and what I am now. They never looked at me any differently or with regret whenever they recalled that I was in TPJC and not some other JC they wanted me to go
Of course, I'm not forgetting about Von and Lun. They have been my confidantes, and my advisors. Haha, Lun, I'm not forgetting that comment you made to Lijun about us not needing any mirror coz u are one for us. Whatever fear I have, they would try to dispel it for me, listening to me, and trying to help in any way they can. I remember how Lun often stayed up and put her work aside to help me work out my speech and listen to the way I presented and gave opinions about how I sounded. Granted, oftentimes her comments were uneasy to bear, but I know they were given that way because she's my sister and she saw no need to hide anything from me. Need I say that my presentations always went smoothly? =) She was the one who also made me face my fear head on, like the elections for DAC the other day. I was already planning to withdraw from the elections, and was still internally debating (though I was sure at that point in time that I was gonna withdraw), when she urged me to go ahead with it and just try it out. Even after I agreed to continue with it, she could see that I wasnt really keen on it, so she reprimanded me. Yah, I know, it's kinda mei da mei xiao to acty reprimand ur elder sister, but that was done to wake me up I guess. As for Von, I'm grateful to her for listening to me, esp during the days and the minutes b4 the DAC elections. She REMEMBERED to sms me to check on how I was- I guess she somehow knew I was almost a wreck as the time grew nearer to the elections. It was great to receive her msg and I tell you, I really smiled when I saw the msg "Hello! How are you?" A simple msg, but the timing and the thought counted.
But what actually made me write this post was what happened yesterday. We were moving the fridge into my hostel room. I wasn't the one who carried the fridge. Evon was. Everyone else was helping to carry the other stuff up. It was, like, logically speaking, the fridge is supposed to be for me, and I should be the one to carry it. Nonetheless, she knew that me carrying it was abit too much to ask for, so she automatically helped me to carry it. My father helped her too. The main point of the trip yesterday was the fridge, and I ended up not carrying it. Also, the fact that my father is so willing to drive me up to NTU every Monday to drop me off and coming up with me to make sure everything is all right, regardless of the fact that he's late for work every Monday. He helps carry so much of my stuff.
All the actions carried out by my family came so naturally to them, that there was never a second thought about doing them, and that's what makes the actions much more valuable and memorable than anything else. It is this selfless giving, I guess, that makes many say that "Blood is thicker than water", and "Home is where the heart is". Now I fully understand the implications of these words. I sometimes wonder: my family does so much for me, what have I done for them that is truly memorable?
This entry sounds very heavy doesn't it? It sounds like I'm putting my life out for all to see, and my family for all to evaluate. But I AM grateful for all that they have done for me. =)
Regardless of the fact that my parents wanted me to go into the Science stream or do Chinese or Econs in Uni, they supported the choices I made, even though at times, it looked as if I HAD made the wrong decision. Like entering the Arts stream instead of Science. I know my mother was disappointed at my choice because she felt that as a Science teacher, her children had better chances of doing well in the Science stream as she could at least help a little in our doubts. Arts? She had no idea what was going on there. Nonetheless, she continued to show me support by never showing what she truly thought of it. The only way I knew of her thoughts was through my father. I guess I disappointed him too, by absolutely discarding the idea of taking Chinese and Econs in the U, which he reckoned were the 2 fields in Arts which had the biggest career advantage. Instead, I chose to take Psychology, a field few people know about. He supportd me in this, and heped me gaher info about the course. He was also the one who talked my mother round when I decided to take Arts instead of Science. Though my As results were anything but spectacular, I'm really glad they had not forced me into what they wanted me to be. For that, I'm really sorry that I had to go and do averagely in the exams. They allowed me to do what I had an interest in, and encouraged my every decision. Even when they thought that it was an unwise move, they encouraged me on, saying that it was a learning point, and it happened for a reason. That was what happened when I entered TPJC instead of TJC. I know they were disappointed, but they consoled me by saying everything happens for a reason. I think they were right in that sense, cos I have a feeling that if I had really gone on to TJC, I wouldn't be where I am and what I am now. They never looked at me any differently or with regret whenever they recalled that I was in TPJC and not some other JC they wanted me to go
Of course, I'm not forgetting about Von and Lun. They have been my confidantes, and my advisors. Haha, Lun, I'm not forgetting that comment you made to Lijun about us not needing any mirror coz u are one for us. Whatever fear I have, they would try to dispel it for me, listening to me, and trying to help in any way they can. I remember how Lun often stayed up and put her work aside to help me work out my speech and listen to the way I presented and gave opinions about how I sounded. Granted, oftentimes her comments were uneasy to bear, but I know they were given that way because she's my sister and she saw no need to hide anything from me. Need I say that my presentations always went smoothly? =) She was the one who also made me face my fear head on, like the elections for DAC the other day. I was already planning to withdraw from the elections, and was still internally debating (though I was sure at that point in time that I was gonna withdraw), when she urged me to go ahead with it and just try it out. Even after I agreed to continue with it, she could see that I wasnt really keen on it, so she reprimanded me. Yah, I know, it's kinda mei da mei xiao to acty reprimand ur elder sister, but that was done to wake me up I guess. As for Von, I'm grateful to her for listening to me, esp during the days and the minutes b4 the DAC elections. She REMEMBERED to sms me to check on how I was- I guess she somehow knew I was almost a wreck as the time grew nearer to the elections. It was great to receive her msg and I tell you, I really smiled when I saw the msg "Hello! How are you?" A simple msg, but the timing and the thought counted.
But what actually made me write this post was what happened yesterday. We were moving the fridge into my hostel room. I wasn't the one who carried the fridge. Evon was. Everyone else was helping to carry the other stuff up. It was, like, logically speaking, the fridge is supposed to be for me, and I should be the one to carry it. Nonetheless, she knew that me carrying it was abit too much to ask for, so she automatically helped me to carry it. My father helped her too. The main point of the trip yesterday was the fridge, and I ended up not carrying it. Also, the fact that my father is so willing to drive me up to NTU every Monday to drop me off and coming up with me to make sure everything is all right, regardless of the fact that he's late for work every Monday. He helps carry so much of my stuff.
All the actions carried out by my family came so naturally to them, that there was never a second thought about doing them, and that's what makes the actions much more valuable and memorable than anything else. It is this selfless giving, I guess, that makes many say that "Blood is thicker than water", and "Home is where the heart is". Now I fully understand the implications of these words. I sometimes wonder: my family does so much for me, what have I done for them that is truly memorable?
This entry sounds very heavy doesn't it? It sounds like I'm putting my life out for all to see, and my family for all to evaluate. But I AM grateful for all that they have done for me. =)
Saturday, August 27, 2005
The Past
I'm beginning to hate thinking about the past. It's always, "I should have done this, I shouldn't have done that". Well, I know as well as anyone does that there's NOTHING I can do about it, so why can't it leave me alone?
Friday, August 26, 2005
Home Sweet Home!
I'm HOME!! IT'S FRIDAY!! Haha, I just love Fridays, coz it's when I finally come home man... Can sleep in my own bed, can eat homecooked food, and best of all, I'm with my family! Haha... though we call each other everyday, I still think there's a distance between us. Probably it's psychological, but it is hard to talk on the phone. I dun really like to talk on the phone- I can't hear things clearly, and alot of the times, I'm really afraid I might misinterpret what some ppl tell me over the phone, or I say something else which is totally irrelevant to what they had just told me over the phone. Yep, so next time if I keep asking you to repeat yourself over the phone, please be patient with me ok? It's not that I was not paying attention; rather, I couldn hear you very clearly over the phone, and probably needed some time to understand what you were saying, so pls excuse me if I keep quiet for a while after listening to u. =)
Alot of ppl have been feeling stressed out these days. I think it's coz work is finally catching up with us, and what we are learning is really getting tougher and tougher. Like the Stats module for Psych. I initially thought that I would be able to handle it coz in JC, Stats was pretty standard format, and I thought I had understood the concepts needed to do the questions. Boy, am I wrong. Well, maybe not wrong in my method of doing things, but perhaps in the understanding of the methods and the symbols. Usually we just talked about X and X bar without really knowing what they stood for. Now, I find that I actually have to know them in order to know what the heck the textbook is talking about. Sure I know what they are referring to, but it takes me quite some time to understand which symbol they are talking about when they use the words instead of the symbols. Worse still is when they phrase it in another way, and I have to go thru another round of "analysis". Hmm, this makes me wonder if I should just forget what I learned in JC and just concentrate on what I'm learning now, or if I should look back on my notes. The situation is the same as what's happening in the "Basic Maths for Economists" module. The maths is simple, yes, but the way the lecturer teaches kind of makes me feel like whatever Maths I learned in JC has been uprooted, but nothing has been planted back in its place. I mean, even the way he teaches simple differentiation makes me think, "Have I really learned this before?" and thus makes me doubt myself, even though I'm very very sure that I have not learned it that way before. Or maybe it's a sense of insecurity at work here. Hmm....
Time really flies man... It's already 9 something. I think I better go do finish up one of the chapts i'm supposed to be doing, so HOPEFULLY I can have some time to myself to do some SHOPPING!! Haha, looking at everyone's clothes in NTU just makes me wanna do more shopping. It's the fun of looking at new stuff and acquiring it and actually finding good buys that makes the whole experience so fun. Haha, I wonder y some guys actually question why we girls like shopping... =)
Alot of ppl have been feeling stressed out these days. I think it's coz work is finally catching up with us, and what we are learning is really getting tougher and tougher. Like the Stats module for Psych. I initially thought that I would be able to handle it coz in JC, Stats was pretty standard format, and I thought I had understood the concepts needed to do the questions. Boy, am I wrong. Well, maybe not wrong in my method of doing things, but perhaps in the understanding of the methods and the symbols. Usually we just talked about X and X bar without really knowing what they stood for. Now, I find that I actually have to know them in order to know what the heck the textbook is talking about. Sure I know what they are referring to, but it takes me quite some time to understand which symbol they are talking about when they use the words instead of the symbols. Worse still is when they phrase it in another way, and I have to go thru another round of "analysis". Hmm, this makes me wonder if I should just forget what I learned in JC and just concentrate on what I'm learning now, or if I should look back on my notes. The situation is the same as what's happening in the "Basic Maths for Economists" module. The maths is simple, yes, but the way the lecturer teaches kind of makes me feel like whatever Maths I learned in JC has been uprooted, but nothing has been planted back in its place. I mean, even the way he teaches simple differentiation makes me think, "Have I really learned this before?" and thus makes me doubt myself, even though I'm very very sure that I have not learned it that way before. Or maybe it's a sense of insecurity at work here. Hmm....
Time really flies man... It's already 9 something. I think I better go do finish up one of the chapts i'm supposed to be doing, so HOPEFULLY I can have some time to myself to do some SHOPPING!! Haha, looking at everyone's clothes in NTU just makes me wanna do more shopping. It's the fun of looking at new stuff and acquiring it and actually finding good buys that makes the whole experience so fun. Haha, I wonder y some guys actually question why we girls like shopping... =)
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Visual Illusions and Others...
Haha, today's Intro to Psychology tutorial on visual perceptions was cool! very interesting. So much so that I started to see illusions everywhere for the first part of the morning, like how the cut grass on the slopes look like they had been cut in steps in comparison with the uncut grass below them. Too bad i dun have a digital camera with me, or I would have taken the photo for u to see.
Oh yah, special thanks to Bernice Jie Jie, for her picture from her blog. It caused alot of interest among the class when I showed it. All of them were intrigued by the manipulation of the ball... Haha, incidentally, the perceptual concepts here are actually quite a few. Let me try to explain it here. Firstly, there was the figure-ground relationship between Bernice JieJie and her bf and the ball in question. When we look at the picture, we are first unable to tell how far away the ball is, and how near they are to the ball. And besides, we are unable to judge it also because we are unfamiliar with the place- it's beyond our experience. But we can judge the distance roughly by comparing it with the buildings and the trees in the background. therefore, it looks nearer to us. And besides, if u'll look closely at the picture-esp the one with Bernice Jiejie, the size of the ball is just the 'right' size to hold in the hand, which makes the illusion even more believable. The one with her bf is believable when looked at from a distance, but up close, the ball looks a tad too big... hee.. =) nonetheless, the pics were a huge success. Haha... Hmm, about the other perceptual concepts involved, I'll have to ask my tutor about it again, or discuss with my classmates. Still a little woozy on that. Paiseh.
"Others" in my title referred to the lecture we had later in the day. Again it was "Intro to Psychology". Only this time, it's regarding Memory. Cool. Why do I mention it here? Well, it seems that I have an inclination to 'apply' wat I have learnt to things that are happening to me. Erm, it's crap lar actually, haha... coz when I wasnt listening and my friends asked me wat was going on, i just said, "I dunno. Information wasnt encoded in my memory." "Encoding" here refers to getting the information we receive from our surroundings into our memory, and one of the reasons y we dun remember info at times is coz we never pay attention to it, hence the info doesn get encoded into our hard drive. It was just stored in our "temporary folders" in our head for like, 1 or 2 seconds, then POOF! gone.
Argh there's a quiz soon, and its 6 chapters!! Wat am i gonna do?!?!?!?!?!? seems like it's 80 mcq qns. MCQs might sound easy, but they NEVER are. The answers are always so damn close to each other its irritating.
Ok i gtg study already!! i have to have some life outside of studying... oh man....
Oh yah, special thanks to Bernice Jie Jie, for her picture from her blog. It caused alot of interest among the class when I showed it. All of them were intrigued by the manipulation of the ball... Haha, incidentally, the perceptual concepts here are actually quite a few. Let me try to explain it here. Firstly, there was the figure-ground relationship between Bernice JieJie and her bf and the ball in question. When we look at the picture, we are first unable to tell how far away the ball is, and how near they are to the ball. And besides, we are unable to judge it also because we are unfamiliar with the place- it's beyond our experience. But we can judge the distance roughly by comparing it with the buildings and the trees in the background. therefore, it looks nearer to us. And besides, if u'll look closely at the picture-esp the one with Bernice Jiejie, the size of the ball is just the 'right' size to hold in the hand, which makes the illusion even more believable. The one with her bf is believable when looked at from a distance, but up close, the ball looks a tad too big... hee.. =) nonetheless, the pics were a huge success. Haha... Hmm, about the other perceptual concepts involved, I'll have to ask my tutor about it again, or discuss with my classmates. Still a little woozy on that. Paiseh.
"Others" in my title referred to the lecture we had later in the day. Again it was "Intro to Psychology". Only this time, it's regarding Memory. Cool. Why do I mention it here? Well, it seems that I have an inclination to 'apply' wat I have learnt to things that are happening to me. Erm, it's crap lar actually, haha... coz when I wasnt listening and my friends asked me wat was going on, i just said, "I dunno. Information wasnt encoded in my memory." "Encoding" here refers to getting the information we receive from our surroundings into our memory, and one of the reasons y we dun remember info at times is coz we never pay attention to it, hence the info doesn get encoded into our hard drive. It was just stored in our "temporary folders" in our head for like, 1 or 2 seconds, then POOF! gone.
Argh there's a quiz soon, and its 6 chapters!! Wat am i gonna do?!?!?!?!?!? seems like it's 80 mcq qns. MCQs might sound easy, but they NEVER are. The answers are always so damn close to each other its irritating.
Ok i gtg study already!! i have to have some life outside of studying... oh man....
Monday, August 22, 2005
It's Monday, and I'm back in my hostel! It's been a whole flurry of activity since I came in this morning. First it was to set up the printer, unpack my bags, tidy up the room, then it was rushing off to the Media Resource Library to go view Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho. It's old-fashioned acting, where the actors are quite conservative, but the plot... well, it was good. Not that we hadn't been suspecting what was happening all along, but the real story was a little more sinister than what we had been expecting all along. Too lazy to type the story here though, so I guess if u are interested in it, go watch it! It's a good movie. =) Oh, then after the movie was back to lecture, then now I'm back in the hostel. Later at 7 is the rotaract club meeting, which I'm supposed to attend. Tomorrow's one is also the Rotaract club meeting, but it's the AGM this time. Not sure when the first meeting of Deli Aprecio club's is though, but i suspect it's sometime this week or next week.
I hope the HP101 assignment which I have done is fine... It's supposed to be something about perception, and I chose to do something about spelling... u know, like how we can recognise the first and last alphabets in a word and still know what word it is even though the middle alphabets are mixed up? yah, I'm trying to use that, but I'm not quite sure how to explain how our brain perceives this. I believe it's got sth to do with watever I'm trying to show though.
OOPS!! it's 6:12 already. I better try to get some shut eye first. I think it's gonna be a long day... not gonna slp till 12 plus again today. Anyone online who sees me can msg me! =)
I hope the HP101 assignment which I have done is fine... It's supposed to be something about perception, and I chose to do something about spelling... u know, like how we can recognise the first and last alphabets in a word and still know what word it is even though the middle alphabets are mixed up? yah, I'm trying to use that, but I'm not quite sure how to explain how our brain perceives this. I believe it's got sth to do with watever I'm trying to show though.
OOPS!! it's 6:12 already. I better try to get some shut eye first. I think it's gonna be a long day... not gonna slp till 12 plus again today. Anyone online who sees me can msg me! =)
Friday, August 19, 2005
Whew!
It was a worry all for naught. In the end, I didn't need to present my speech, and I got the post. That's coz I was the only contender for the post of publications. It feels rather anticlimatic though, that I got the post without fighting for it, all the while thinking that other ppl would get it rather than me. And also, I don't quite know what to feel now that I have got the post I applied for. It feels... unreal somehow, and a bit fake, kinda like I got the post thru a fluke and that post simply should not belong to me. However, I'm quite happy, coz i can get the chance to experience this sort of thing. I just hope this goes well for the year that I'm supposed to be in charge of publications for the club. *crosses fingers* I also feel a weird sense of being overwhelmed. I've never taken up this kind of post before, and while I know what is expected of me, I've never had the experience and don't quit know what I'm supposed to do. So.... all in all.... I think I still haven't come to terms with it yet. i'm praying real hard that I won't do anything to screw this up. It's a larger scale than what I've been used to, so I guess it's more challenging.
Ok.. I've gotta go. All in all, things are going.... just fine, esp today. It's Friday! And the tension that has been dogging me this past week is gone, and I no longer have the lonely feelig looming over me. That feels sooooo great I tell u. "Nobody wants to be lonely/ Nobody wants to cry" I always thought that song was for lovers, but now, I really see the significant of those 2 lines. Haha... =)
HOME SWEET HOME!!!
Ok.. I've gotta go. All in all, things are going.... just fine, esp today. It's Friday! And the tension that has been dogging me this past week is gone, and I no longer have the lonely feelig looming over me. That feels sooooo great I tell u. "Nobody wants to be lonely/ Nobody wants to cry" I always thought that song was for lovers, but now, I really see the significant of those 2 lines. Haha... =)
HOME SWEET HOME!!!
Thursday, August 18, 2005
just some thoughts running thru my head.. =)
finally managed to put up a post on my tagboard. goodness, i've been trying to do that for the past week i tell u... haha... so, bell, now u know y there hasn been any response to ur tag but there have been posts up. =)
*drumroll* today is THE day!! yep, i hope the time for the tea session passes faster, and 3 1/2 hours will just zooooooom by... I'm crossing my fingers... cant sms either, coz there's no reception in the rooms where the elections are taking place. Smart ah the organisers? now that's a sure way of ensuring that we mingle and make friends. haha...
i just realised it's gonna be a long day for me today... lessons technically end at 230 later, but i arranged with Eriennd to watch "Lola" from 2.30 to 430, so that slot's taken up, so it's only from 430 onwards that i'll be free. technically once again, coz the tea session starts at 630, so basically i have abt an hour to rest, then the rest of the time will be.... well, i'll update u tmr. =)
Yay! it's thurs! i'll be able to go back home tmr! can't wait. though the only bright spot about going home is the fact tt i can see my family. I still have sooooo many readings to do! if only i had read the correct chapt for hp101, i'd be ahead by now! -_-" oh well, no use lamenting. I've gotta try harder to get ahead again.
ok i gtg... lessons starting in half an hour's time and i'm in the north spine. seriously i've been doing lots of walking these 2 days. yesterday i walked from north spine to south spine and back again... today coz i couldn get the shuttle bus i had to walk from my hall to S4. And the thing is, i'm sure there's a short cut somewhere, just that i dunno how to use it, and i dunno where the shortcut is. IF ANYONE KNOWS OF ANY SHORTCUT FROM HALL 6 TO THE SOUTH SPINE OR NORTH SPINE PLEASE INFORM ME!!!!!!
*drumroll* today is THE day!! yep, i hope the time for the tea session passes faster, and 3 1/2 hours will just zooooooom by... I'm crossing my fingers... cant sms either, coz there's no reception in the rooms where the elections are taking place. Smart ah the organisers? now that's a sure way of ensuring that we mingle and make friends. haha...
i just realised it's gonna be a long day for me today... lessons technically end at 230 later, but i arranged with Eriennd to watch "Lola" from 2.30 to 430, so that slot's taken up, so it's only from 430 onwards that i'll be free. technically once again, coz the tea session starts at 630, so basically i have abt an hour to rest, then the rest of the time will be.... well, i'll update u tmr. =)
Yay! it's thurs! i'll be able to go back home tmr! can't wait. though the only bright spot about going home is the fact tt i can see my family. I still have sooooo many readings to do! if only i had read the correct chapt for hp101, i'd be ahead by now! -_-" oh well, no use lamenting. I've gotta try harder to get ahead again.
ok i gtg... lessons starting in half an hour's time and i'm in the north spine. seriously i've been doing lots of walking these 2 days. yesterday i walked from north spine to south spine and back again... today coz i couldn get the shuttle bus i had to walk from my hall to S4. And the thing is, i'm sure there's a short cut somewhere, just that i dunno how to use it, and i dunno where the shortcut is. IF ANYONE KNOWS OF ANY SHORTCUT FROM HALL 6 TO THE SOUTH SPINE OR NORTH SPINE PLEASE INFORM ME!!!!!!
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Jieting, here's the lyrics to the song i put on my blog... haha.... =)
"Bless The Broken Road"
I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Great. Now they tell me I can bring supporters along tmr for the elections. But who's free? I'm sure not many ppl will wanna stay till 10pm when there's no more shuttle bus! argh. that leaves me with no supporters. oh man... I feel so lonely man... anyone free from 6.30 to 10 pm tmr? come support me? but i think by the time this post is read i'd have finished my campaign. I just hope there's no more Q&A tmr. i dun think i can handle anymore interviews. heh. And i can';t imagine interacting or mingling with ppl i have nvr seen. true, i have been doing that since the start of the sch term, but this feels like when i was in HL803 the first day, when i sat alone and just went thru the lesson on my own. ok i'm self-pitying. i feel so pathetic!!! WHY OH WHY did i open my itchy mouth to say that i'm still interested in the main comm thing?!!?!?!? I'm scared of tmr man... really really scared. NOT only coz i'll be alone, but also because i dunno wat to expect. the fear of the unknown? perhaps. the fear of the consequences? maybe. how how how?! no friends, no supporters.... NOW i know how outcasts feel.
OOOOOHHHH!!! Pray hard that i dun do anything silly to humiliate myself and pray hard for me that the audience will be nice and at least clap when i've finished my speech k? =)
"Bless The Broken Road"
I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Great. Now they tell me I can bring supporters along tmr for the elections. But who's free? I'm sure not many ppl will wanna stay till 10pm when there's no more shuttle bus! argh. that leaves me with no supporters. oh man... I feel so lonely man... anyone free from 6.30 to 10 pm tmr? come support me? but i think by the time this post is read i'd have finished my campaign. I just hope there's no more Q&A tmr. i dun think i can handle anymore interviews. heh. And i can';t imagine interacting or mingling with ppl i have nvr seen. true, i have been doing that since the start of the sch term, but this feels like when i was in HL803 the first day, when i sat alone and just went thru the lesson on my own. ok i'm self-pitying. i feel so pathetic!!! WHY OH WHY did i open my itchy mouth to say that i'm still interested in the main comm thing?!!?!?!? I'm scared of tmr man... really really scared. NOT only coz i'll be alone, but also because i dunno wat to expect. the fear of the unknown? perhaps. the fear of the consequences? maybe. how how how?! no friends, no supporters.... NOW i know how outcasts feel.
OOOOOHHHH!!! Pray hard that i dun do anything silly to humiliate myself and pray hard for me that the audience will be nice and at least clap when i've finished my speech k? =)
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
I'm now in my hostel's computer lab, blogging. Haha, can't help it. I feel like I'm so cut off from the rest of civilisation that i MUST have some way of reminding u all that I'm still around... somewhere.... haha.. ok i'm being too overdramatic.=)
Actually, the primary reason for coming to the comp lab was to check up details regarding the post I'm running for. Yep, u heard rite. I'm joining an election for the main comm and MAN! Am I so regretting it right now. Argh. I flopped spectacularly at the iterview, and now i'm running for the elections. I was very tempted to withdraw from it at first, but after thinking bout it carefully and with von and lun's persuasion, I decided to stay on. Not to see if I could salvage anything, but for the experience and for the fact that withdrawing would be a cowardly thing to do. So. Back to the topic again. I went online to look for info regarding the post I'm running for. Unfortunately, while there is a website, there is NO info AT ALL. CRIPESS!!!! So I guess I'll just have to crap my way thru on Thurs. Serene suggested that I tell them why they should vote for me by saying wat i can do for the club.Thing is, I dunno wat they really do!! oh man... this sucks... I know... I suck too, in that I dun even know wat's the job scope for wat i'm running for. But it's Publications! wat else do u do but write and publish events that the club organises? and maybe include a few interviews of chefs etc and mebbe come up with recipes and stuff? I can't think of what else the club's Publications dept doesn have that i can do for it. Any suggestions anyone?
Or maybe I should just go in with watever i have prepared. After all, it's not likely that ppl will remember me if i dun get elected, rite? and if i do get elected, that would mean that my speech was the right formula, wouldn't it? Yup. I'm just gonna go in like that. I need to find out where the Student Activities Centre is though. Argh. 630 to 10 on thurs!!! I guess I should be glad that it's a thurs, so i can go home on fri and spend the weekend licking my wounds then come back to the hostel fresh again. haha, and on the bright side, at least this is not some BIG event in NTU, or anything like the General Elections. ppl get rejected all the time, and on much larger scales than mine. Look at Andrew Kwan. Last i heard, he was rejected by the election panel but he still wanted to carry on. U gotta admire him for that. I'll get through this. I guess what's making me apprehensive is the fact that my personal pride will be dented. True, many ppl have been rejected before, and on much larger scale than what i will bve going thru, but when one is the one going thru it, does one ever think about wat happened to tt other person who got rejected on a larger scale? though the thot that others have gone thru this b4, i guess what i have to get past will be my personal embarrassment. Haha.... narrow-minded? myopic? perhaps.
Oops. It's getting dark already.. better go bathe first before it gets darker or later. I dun like to bathe alone in the hostel when it's late or dark. Scary.
Ok! 3- no, about to be 2 more days to friday! yay!!
Actually, the primary reason for coming to the comp lab was to check up details regarding the post I'm running for. Yep, u heard rite. I'm joining an election for the main comm and MAN! Am I so regretting it right now. Argh. I flopped spectacularly at the iterview, and now i'm running for the elections. I was very tempted to withdraw from it at first, but after thinking bout it carefully and with von and lun's persuasion, I decided to stay on. Not to see if I could salvage anything, but for the experience and for the fact that withdrawing would be a cowardly thing to do. So. Back to the topic again. I went online to look for info regarding the post I'm running for. Unfortunately, while there is a website, there is NO info AT ALL. CRIPESS!!!! So I guess I'll just have to crap my way thru on Thurs. Serene suggested that I tell them why they should vote for me by saying wat i can do for the club.Thing is, I dunno wat they really do!! oh man... this sucks... I know... I suck too, in that I dun even know wat's the job scope for wat i'm running for. But it's Publications! wat else do u do but write and publish events that the club organises? and maybe include a few interviews of chefs etc and mebbe come up with recipes and stuff? I can't think of what else the club's Publications dept doesn have that i can do for it. Any suggestions anyone?
Or maybe I should just go in with watever i have prepared. After all, it's not likely that ppl will remember me if i dun get elected, rite? and if i do get elected, that would mean that my speech was the right formula, wouldn't it? Yup. I'm just gonna go in like that. I need to find out where the Student Activities Centre is though. Argh. 630 to 10 on thurs!!! I guess I should be glad that it's a thurs, so i can go home on fri and spend the weekend licking my wounds then come back to the hostel fresh again. haha, and on the bright side, at least this is not some BIG event in NTU, or anything like the General Elections. ppl get rejected all the time, and on much larger scales than mine. Look at Andrew Kwan. Last i heard, he was rejected by the election panel but he still wanted to carry on. U gotta admire him for that. I'll get through this. I guess what's making me apprehensive is the fact that my personal pride will be dented. True, many ppl have been rejected before, and on much larger scale than what i will bve going thru, but when one is the one going thru it, does one ever think about wat happened to tt other person who got rejected on a larger scale? though the thot that others have gone thru this b4, i guess what i have to get past will be my personal embarrassment. Haha.... narrow-minded? myopic? perhaps.
Oops. It's getting dark already.. better go bathe first before it gets darker or later. I dun like to bathe alone in the hostel when it's late or dark. Scary.
Ok! 3- no, about to be 2 more days to friday! yay!!
Saturday, August 13, 2005
yay! I've got my laptop finally!! Haha.. i'm using it now to blog, and trying to get used to it. It came with a free optical mouse which is in red (quite gorgeous i might add haha.. ) and a free thumb drive and a bluetooth adapter thing... oh, and a bag which i can use to carry home on weekends. It can hold bth books and the laptop, which is quite cool, except i think it'll make me look like one of the ninja turtles... =)
Oh yah, Laura, u told me to post some things regarding psychology? Well, are u ready? Psychology isn't all ur impression tells u that it is. Anlaysis of behaviour is only one of the many aspects of Psychology that we have to study. The main components are Bio and Maths. Well, now i know why one of the prerequisites for doing Psych is having a good pass in Maths- ALOT of statistics will be used. We have a whole module on that. Yah, and not to mention a whole module on research methods. So, if you thought psych was mainly analysing... well, you're only right bout a part of it. It's alot of science involved. But it's still interesting! As you learn more things thru the bio side, you tend to go, "Oh! No wonder this happens to me!" or "OMG is that even possible?!" yah, u tend to appreciate ur brain a whole lot more. Haha... So, Laura, if you are still interested in Psych, remember to do well in ur sci! Especially Bio! Oh, and Maths. =) Did i mention that students taking "Introduction to Psychology" have to take part in Research Programmes? Yep, we do, and i think it's quite cool actually, to be able to take part in research and thus learn what it really is about, and what researchers actually do. While i think the idea is cool, I'm a little apprehensive about my ability to do it well. I mean, this is totally new to me, so i hope during the course of my participation, i won't become the usually blur and forgetful me who mixes up everything or forgets something important or mix up some data- generally to screw things up. So wish me all the best, won't you? Oh, Laura, don't let what i said frighten you bout Psych! If you have background in Bio, particularly O Level one, you should be able to cope just fine. Believe me! =)
Ok, Jiun Pey told me my previous blog posts were very depressing to read. Haha, I do apologise for it, and now, I'm better!! I feel better bout staying in hostel already. Think it just required some getting used to, and I think i've just about gotten the hang of it, though I still do think of my family. Hmm, but i think the busy schedule and the whole lot of readings i have to do will kinda distract me from thinking of them, and besides, I've got my laptop! Oh, and my laptop's name is Compuu. You know, Compuu the Computer? Yah yah, go ahead and laugh, haha, you must be snorting with laughter now at the silly name, but well, we (von, lun and i) realised that we call all our pets by wat they are- Peke the Pekingese, Schnoozee the Schnauzer, Terry and Pippin the Terrappins.... yah, you get the idea. So I was too lazy to think of a name, and thus von came up with this ingenius name. It IS silly, so i dun blame you for ur amusement. haha.. =)
Ok, I gtg back to doing my readings... 20 something pages, and i have to get started on my proj, and i have to read another book, and i have to re read the prev chapter so i know wat's going on during my discussion on mon. Do u know, i STUPIDLY arranged for a meeting with my groupmates on mon, conveniently forgetting that there is a screening of Lola at that time?!?!?! I could just slap myself. ARGH now i have to watch it on my own. I amaze myself sometimes. Oh, speaking of amazing myself, go watch "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" starring Marilyn Monroe and Jane Russell. A GOOD movie,very funny, but it makes you think... Go watch! =)
Oh yah, Laura, u told me to post some things regarding psychology? Well, are u ready? Psychology isn't all ur impression tells u that it is. Anlaysis of behaviour is only one of the many aspects of Psychology that we have to study. The main components are Bio and Maths. Well, now i know why one of the prerequisites for doing Psych is having a good pass in Maths- ALOT of statistics will be used. We have a whole module on that. Yah, and not to mention a whole module on research methods. So, if you thought psych was mainly analysing... well, you're only right bout a part of it. It's alot of science involved. But it's still interesting! As you learn more things thru the bio side, you tend to go, "Oh! No wonder this happens to me!" or "OMG is that even possible?!" yah, u tend to appreciate ur brain a whole lot more. Haha... So, Laura, if you are still interested in Psych, remember to do well in ur sci! Especially Bio! Oh, and Maths. =) Did i mention that students taking "Introduction to Psychology" have to take part in Research Programmes? Yep, we do, and i think it's quite cool actually, to be able to take part in research and thus learn what it really is about, and what researchers actually do. While i think the idea is cool, I'm a little apprehensive about my ability to do it well. I mean, this is totally new to me, so i hope during the course of my participation, i won't become the usually blur and forgetful me who mixes up everything or forgets something important or mix up some data- generally to screw things up. So wish me all the best, won't you? Oh, Laura, don't let what i said frighten you bout Psych! If you have background in Bio, particularly O Level one, you should be able to cope just fine. Believe me! =)
Ok, Jiun Pey told me my previous blog posts were very depressing to read. Haha, I do apologise for it, and now, I'm better!! I feel better bout staying in hostel already. Think it just required some getting used to, and I think i've just about gotten the hang of it, though I still do think of my family. Hmm, but i think the busy schedule and the whole lot of readings i have to do will kinda distract me from thinking of them, and besides, I've got my laptop! Oh, and my laptop's name is Compuu. You know, Compuu the Computer? Yah yah, go ahead and laugh, haha, you must be snorting with laughter now at the silly name, but well, we (von, lun and i) realised that we call all our pets by wat they are- Peke the Pekingese, Schnoozee the Schnauzer, Terry and Pippin the Terrappins.... yah, you get the idea. So I was too lazy to think of a name, and thus von came up with this ingenius name. It IS silly, so i dun blame you for ur amusement. haha.. =)
Ok, I gtg back to doing my readings... 20 something pages, and i have to get started on my proj, and i have to read another book, and i have to re read the prev chapter so i know wat's going on during my discussion on mon. Do u know, i STUPIDLY arranged for a meeting with my groupmates on mon, conveniently forgetting that there is a screening of Lola at that time?!?!?! I could just slap myself. ARGH now i have to watch it on my own. I amaze myself sometimes. Oh, speaking of amazing myself, go watch "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" starring Marilyn Monroe and Jane Russell. A GOOD movie,very funny, but it makes you think... Go watch! =)
Monday, August 08, 2005
I still haven't got my laptop. And I'm sure getting real frustrated here. I have got other things ready, but the main character is not here yet, so just what can i do with a printer and a laptop lock I would like to know?!
I just watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory! Oooh it's a good movie. Full house somemore, and several were adult audiences. I guess that is so coz many of us grew up with Roald Dahl, and many of us were intrigued by the idea of a chocolate river, and the boat made of boiled candy, Oompa-Loompas etc that we just had to see it. I think this version is great. Charlie is exactly as I imagined him to look like, as was Grandpa Joe. Veruca Salt and Augustus Gloop were well-chosen, though I kinda think Augustus Gloop looks quite fake. Anyway, I think Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka was a really good choice. He was every bit the Willy Wonka I imagined- witty, sarcastic, eccentric. But I think Johnny Depp added dimension to the character of Wonka, by his facial expressions that seemed to suggest more than what he was saying (of course, I say this because I was unable to actually imagine Willy Wonka's actual expressions when he was talking in the story. I could only take his words in the book at face-value....). As you may have heard many people saying already, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (CCF) is not all candies and children and fun. There is a dark side to it, suggested first by the burning up of the dolls that were singing "Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka.." That scene was so reminiscent of Happy Tree Friends- so innocently cute, then they start catching fire due to some malfunction of the system (or was it?), then the dolls start to melt, and the music becomes like that of a spoilt recorder. AND THEN Willy Wonka appears beside the visitors, clapping enthusiastically like the whole show went according to plan, including the burnt dolls and spoilt music. His pleasure at that was kinda disturbing, together with the beginning part of the dolls getting spoilt of course. I felt like it was a hint that behind a facade of sweetness, innocence and supposed paradise, there lies an uglier truth, which in my opinion seems to be that Willy Wonka became such a successful chocolatier because of the repression (imposed by his father) he went thru when he was young. He wasn't allowed to eat sweets or chocolates or anything that was remotely sweet. I think the problem didn't totally lie in the fact that his father was a dentist; I think it was more so the fact that his father was a "famous dentist". So... u know, the image that he has to live up to as a famous dentist, might make him feel compelled to make sure his son doesn't have any cavities? That's my speculation. But anyway, I digress. It was a somewhat controlled childhood Willy Wonka had when he was a child, which caused him to grow up disliking adults and link them with authority, control, and stifling of creativity, and thereby disliking even the word "parents". And it was shown several times, that Wonka's past was haunting him, making him unhappy.
Another part that was a little disturbing (but quite amusing) was that Wonka seemingly goaded the children into getting into trouble. He never did seem to actually forcefully stop the children from doing watever they were determined to do. He appeared quite uncaring of what was going to happen to the children, in fact. Not that I was particularly concerned for those children, coz they were really brats, but, thing is, like the Veruca Salt incident- it was sooo obvious that he was taking his own time to find the key. And when he did find it, it was after Veruca was long gone, and the key had been put into the key-hole. He only turned it AFTER Veruca had disappeared, which soooo totally suggest that he planned it.
While watching the movie, it occurred to me that many events in Roald Dahl's story was reflective of children's mentality. Let's not talk bout his other books. Let's just focus on CCF. Don't you think many of the concepts in the story are reminiscent of what we thought about things when we were young? Like the television chocolate. When you were young, didn't you ever think why objects on tv looked so much smaller than real life, and haven you always wondered and fantasised about being able to reach into the tv to grab watever it is that you fancied? And the whipped cream thing. "Whipped cream is not whipped cream unless it has been whipped with whips" (or somethign like that) Haven't you ever wondered about stuff like that? I guess that's why Roald Dahl's books are such a hit. They verbalise what we children always fantasized or thought about, and make it into a story, and because it's like how we always imagined it to be, we kinda identify with it. Haha...
okok i know i'm getting carried away with it. There's just so much to say bout the movie! haha, I wouldn mind watching it one more time... haha.. =)
On to another issue that's been bugging me. Can a person change so much over a short period of time, say, less than a yr? I still find it hard to believe that someone who was well-mannered, filial, respectful and responsible turned into the opposite because of her peers and her bf. I mean, how is it possible that she could learn to despise her own roots and her father in less than a year? A period of time less than a year versus almost 18 years of her life. Wouldn't that 18 yrs be more than enough to prove her judgement wrong? I'm not trying to be moralistic here. I'm just surprised at the change which can overcome a person because of peer influence, and I'm trying to make sense of it all, because I feel that a person like her is simply too innocent for that. Or maybe it's coz I dun often keep in contact with her. No, make that no contact, unless its the times that she comes over for a holiday, and the last time was wat, 6 years or more ago? But from all accounts prior to this, she was a responsible and damn good sister, so this sudden news about her came as a shock, and I really feel very inclined to just ignore it all, simply because its NOT HER. Oh well, if this is true, I sure hope that it's just a phase that she's going through, otherwise it's very painful for her parents, and I think for her too.......
It's getting late... almost 12 already... Happy National Day in advance!
I just watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory! Oooh it's a good movie. Full house somemore, and several were adult audiences. I guess that is so coz many of us grew up with Roald Dahl, and many of us were intrigued by the idea of a chocolate river, and the boat made of boiled candy, Oompa-Loompas etc that we just had to see it. I think this version is great. Charlie is exactly as I imagined him to look like, as was Grandpa Joe. Veruca Salt and Augustus Gloop were well-chosen, though I kinda think Augustus Gloop looks quite fake. Anyway, I think Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka was a really good choice. He was every bit the Willy Wonka I imagined- witty, sarcastic, eccentric. But I think Johnny Depp added dimension to the character of Wonka, by his facial expressions that seemed to suggest more than what he was saying (of course, I say this because I was unable to actually imagine Willy Wonka's actual expressions when he was talking in the story. I could only take his words in the book at face-value....). As you may have heard many people saying already, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (CCF) is not all candies and children and fun. There is a dark side to it, suggested first by the burning up of the dolls that were singing "Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka.." That scene was so reminiscent of Happy Tree Friends- so innocently cute, then they start catching fire due to some malfunction of the system (or was it?), then the dolls start to melt, and the music becomes like that of a spoilt recorder. AND THEN Willy Wonka appears beside the visitors, clapping enthusiastically like the whole show went according to plan, including the burnt dolls and spoilt music. His pleasure at that was kinda disturbing, together with the beginning part of the dolls getting spoilt of course. I felt like it was a hint that behind a facade of sweetness, innocence and supposed paradise, there lies an uglier truth, which in my opinion seems to be that Willy Wonka became such a successful chocolatier because of the repression (imposed by his father) he went thru when he was young. He wasn't allowed to eat sweets or chocolates or anything that was remotely sweet. I think the problem didn't totally lie in the fact that his father was a dentist; I think it was more so the fact that his father was a "famous dentist". So... u know, the image that he has to live up to as a famous dentist, might make him feel compelled to make sure his son doesn't have any cavities? That's my speculation. But anyway, I digress. It was a somewhat controlled childhood Willy Wonka had when he was a child, which caused him to grow up disliking adults and link them with authority, control, and stifling of creativity, and thereby disliking even the word "parents". And it was shown several times, that Wonka's past was haunting him, making him unhappy.
Another part that was a little disturbing (but quite amusing) was that Wonka seemingly goaded the children into getting into trouble. He never did seem to actually forcefully stop the children from doing watever they were determined to do. He appeared quite uncaring of what was going to happen to the children, in fact. Not that I was particularly concerned for those children, coz they were really brats, but, thing is, like the Veruca Salt incident- it was sooo obvious that he was taking his own time to find the key. And when he did find it, it was after Veruca was long gone, and the key had been put into the key-hole. He only turned it AFTER Veruca had disappeared, which soooo totally suggest that he planned it.
While watching the movie, it occurred to me that many events in Roald Dahl's story was reflective of children's mentality. Let's not talk bout his other books. Let's just focus on CCF. Don't you think many of the concepts in the story are reminiscent of what we thought about things when we were young? Like the television chocolate. When you were young, didn't you ever think why objects on tv looked so much smaller than real life, and haven you always wondered and fantasised about being able to reach into the tv to grab watever it is that you fancied? And the whipped cream thing. "Whipped cream is not whipped cream unless it has been whipped with whips" (or somethign like that) Haven't you ever wondered about stuff like that? I guess that's why Roald Dahl's books are such a hit. They verbalise what we children always fantasized or thought about, and make it into a story, and because it's like how we always imagined it to be, we kinda identify with it. Haha...
okok i know i'm getting carried away with it. There's just so much to say bout the movie! haha, I wouldn mind watching it one more time... haha.. =)
On to another issue that's been bugging me. Can a person change so much over a short period of time, say, less than a yr? I still find it hard to believe that someone who was well-mannered, filial, respectful and responsible turned into the opposite because of her peers and her bf. I mean, how is it possible that she could learn to despise her own roots and her father in less than a year? A period of time less than a year versus almost 18 years of her life. Wouldn't that 18 yrs be more than enough to prove her judgement wrong? I'm not trying to be moralistic here. I'm just surprised at the change which can overcome a person because of peer influence, and I'm trying to make sense of it all, because I feel that a person like her is simply too innocent for that. Or maybe it's coz I dun often keep in contact with her. No, make that no contact, unless its the times that she comes over for a holiday, and the last time was wat, 6 years or more ago? But from all accounts prior to this, she was a responsible and damn good sister, so this sudden news about her came as a shock, and I really feel very inclined to just ignore it all, simply because its NOT HER. Oh well, if this is true, I sure hope that it's just a phase that she's going through, otherwise it's very painful for her parents, and I think for her too.......
It's getting late... almost 12 already... Happy National Day in advance!
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Zooming By....
OK, I only have less than 15 min to type, and MAN! My fingers have been itching to type to blog since Mon, but I've been too lazy to go downstairs to the comp room to use the computer, AND my laptop hasnt arrived yet, which makes the whole thing even more dandy. LAst week they told me it would take bout a week for it to arrive, so i went out and got the necessary equipment. NOW they tell me I have to wait 14 working days to get my laptop. And i was SO hoping to be able to bring it home this week and get the system up and running by next wk. -_-"
Cant blog much, just to say that I think I've gotten the hang of staying by myself here in the hostel. Dun think i'm too independent yet, coz i haven got round to washing my clothes myself(i'll get ther one day), but at least i dun feel as homesick as last week, and not as pessimisstic. For that I'm glad. Someone told me, "Move with change and enjoy it!" oh well, I'm trying to do this as best i can. I think with time I'll improve. =) wish me luck!
Went to the rotaract club tea session on mon, ended up missing the shuttle, so i had to walk home. argh. do u know wat time that was?! it was 9 something! close to 10 already, and the streets are quite dark, but for a few streetlights put up qutie a dist away from each other. one would thing the ntu personnel thought we had cats' eyes or something. then tues was ALMOST a repeat, as i went to attend the rotaract club's main comm interview. alas, it was not meant to be, coz i arived late and hence had to be the 35th person to be interviewed when it was only the NINTH person at that time. so, afraid of missing the shuttle and bathing extremely late and facing the prospect of having to blow dry my hair at an ungodly hour and risk killing my brain cells in the process, i decided to go back and go for the subcomm one next week. wish me luck for that! i'm more keen on the sub comm anyway. haha...
ok gtg. i'll be home tml! then i can blog in comfort......
Cant blog much, just to say that I think I've gotten the hang of staying by myself here in the hostel. Dun think i'm too independent yet, coz i haven got round to washing my clothes myself(i'll get ther one day), but at least i dun feel as homesick as last week, and not as pessimisstic. For that I'm glad. Someone told me, "Move with change and enjoy it!" oh well, I'm trying to do this as best i can. I think with time I'll improve. =) wish me luck!
Went to the rotaract club tea session on mon, ended up missing the shuttle, so i had to walk home. argh. do u know wat time that was?! it was 9 something! close to 10 already, and the streets are quite dark, but for a few streetlights put up qutie a dist away from each other. one would thing the ntu personnel thought we had cats' eyes or something. then tues was ALMOST a repeat, as i went to attend the rotaract club's main comm interview. alas, it was not meant to be, coz i arived late and hence had to be the 35th person to be interviewed when it was only the NINTH person at that time. so, afraid of missing the shuttle and bathing extremely late and facing the prospect of having to blow dry my hair at an ungodly hour and risk killing my brain cells in the process, i decided to go back and go for the subcomm one next week. wish me luck for that! i'm more keen on the sub comm anyway. haha...
ok gtg. i'll be home tml! then i can blog in comfort......
Sunday, July 31, 2005
"There's No Place Like Home"
This is one of the themes of the movie of the week of my course- "Cinematic Pleasures and the Question of Identity". The movie is "The Wizard of Oz". I'm sure all of you have heard of the story. I have, but I've never watched it before. Call me suaku, but I really don't regret watching it. It's a classic, and it's a nice change from the movies of today. Instead of the more often than not "shows of campiness and trampiness, trash and flash, decadent, fabulous flamboyance", it was a show with a little girl in a blue gingham gress, Lion, Tin Man and Scarecrow, not forgetting witches. To quote The Tribune, "It was a virtual festival of innocence".
One particular quote that caught my attention was this from Dorothy:
"Well, I - I think that it - it wasn't enough to just want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em - and it's that - if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own back yard. Because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with! Is that right? "
That quote basically summarised what the movie was trying to say bout the main characters in the show- Dorothy, the Lion, the Scarecrow, and the Tin man. All of them wanted something that was inside them all along; it was just that they either didn't believe they had it in them, or they took it for granted. Well, I guess the latter applies to me. I never really thought much about home; granted, I always knew it's a place where I can seek comfort and refuge, but I never knew HOW MUCH of it, and I never knew HOW MUCH home meant to me until now. Haha, I know, you're probably already getting sick of reading bout me whining and whining bout how much i miss home and how home is sooooo great. OK, after this week, NO MORE whining. I guarantee u. =)
I also just learnt that my grand uncle- my father's uncle- is suffering from liver cancer, and he's now in a hospice, waiting for his time to be up. I can't think of any other tactful way of saying that he's waiting to die, so pls forgive the words. He can neither go for operation nor chemo, 'coz he's too weak and has diabetes, so he has no choice but to forego treatment. He has only 3-6 mths to live. I think knowing one has cancer and knowing how much longer one has to live are torturous facts to live with. Wouldn't one be unconsciously counting down the days, and keep worrying about when that day is going to come, and when that day comes, what will happen then? Where will they go? It's all the questions that nobody can answer, nor can anyone go with one. Of course, knowing how long one has to live might have its advantages, like, getting all of one's affairs straightened out, and maybe making the most out of one's last days. Still..... the thot of going thru everyday thinking about the unknown (what happens and what's going to happen to one after death) is quite frightening, don't u think? Well... it does frighten me, at least. I can't bear the thought of me dying, frankly. Not only the fact that I dunno what's in store for me on the other side so to speak, but I simply can't bear to leave my family behind. And now, I can only imagine what his daughter would feel, and his siblings. I know if someone I was close to passed away, I'd probably feel quite paralysed. I remember last year when I had the dream that I killed Yi Lun. Oh my god.... I was still crying when I woke up, and it took me quite awhile to shake off that sense of loss and grief. For the whole day I couldn stop thinking about it. Even now, thinking back on the dream makes me shudder. Dun ask me y i dreamt that I had killed her. I didn't quarrel with her the night before, nor do i hate her. =)
Ok, let's get off from this morbid thought. It's scary and it's depressing, and I've had alot of depressing entries in the past couple of weeks. It's time I looked ahead. After all, it's only 2 more months to a recess in Sept, and after that another 2 months before exams, and THEN the longer hols, and then Sem 2. Right? =) Of course, I can't only look forward to coming home each week and looking forward to all the available holidays. That would be BAAAAD. I gotta start being optimistic, so wish me luck, won't you? ;)
Oh, by the way, Schnoozee's photos have been posted up in my yahoo photo albums. Go see them!
One particular quote that caught my attention was this from Dorothy:
"Well, I - I think that it - it wasn't enough to just want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em - and it's that - if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own back yard. Because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with! Is that right? "
That quote basically summarised what the movie was trying to say bout the main characters in the show- Dorothy, the Lion, the Scarecrow, and the Tin man. All of them wanted something that was inside them all along; it was just that they either didn't believe they had it in them, or they took it for granted. Well, I guess the latter applies to me. I never really thought much about home; granted, I always knew it's a place where I can seek comfort and refuge, but I never knew HOW MUCH of it, and I never knew HOW MUCH home meant to me until now. Haha, I know, you're probably already getting sick of reading bout me whining and whining bout how much i miss home and how home is sooooo great. OK, after this week, NO MORE whining. I guarantee u. =)
I also just learnt that my grand uncle- my father's uncle- is suffering from liver cancer, and he's now in a hospice, waiting for his time to be up. I can't think of any other tactful way of saying that he's waiting to die, so pls forgive the words. He can neither go for operation nor chemo, 'coz he's too weak and has diabetes, so he has no choice but to forego treatment. He has only 3-6 mths to live. I think knowing one has cancer and knowing how much longer one has to live are torturous facts to live with. Wouldn't one be unconsciously counting down the days, and keep worrying about when that day is going to come, and when that day comes, what will happen then? Where will they go? It's all the questions that nobody can answer, nor can anyone go with one. Of course, knowing how long one has to live might have its advantages, like, getting all of one's affairs straightened out, and maybe making the most out of one's last days. Still..... the thot of going thru everyday thinking about the unknown (what happens and what's going to happen to one after death) is quite frightening, don't u think? Well... it does frighten me, at least. I can't bear the thought of me dying, frankly. Not only the fact that I dunno what's in store for me on the other side so to speak, but I simply can't bear to leave my family behind. And now, I can only imagine what his daughter would feel, and his siblings. I know if someone I was close to passed away, I'd probably feel quite paralysed. I remember last year when I had the dream that I killed Yi Lun. Oh my god.... I was still crying when I woke up, and it took me quite awhile to shake off that sense of loss and grief. For the whole day I couldn stop thinking about it. Even now, thinking back on the dream makes me shudder. Dun ask me y i dreamt that I had killed her. I didn't quarrel with her the night before, nor do i hate her. =)
Ok, let's get off from this morbid thought. It's scary and it's depressing, and I've had alot of depressing entries in the past couple of weeks. It's time I looked ahead. After all, it's only 2 more months to a recess in Sept, and after that another 2 months before exams, and THEN the longer hols, and then Sem 2. Right? =) Of course, I can't only look forward to coming home each week and looking forward to all the available holidays. That would be BAAAAD. I gotta start being optimistic, so wish me luck, won't you? ;)
Oh, by the way, Schnoozee's photos have been posted up in my yahoo photo albums. Go see them!
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Home Sweet Home
It's Sat, and how I wish it was still Fri, then I wouldn have to think about tomorrow, when I'll have to go back to the hostel. -_-" This time it'll be 5 days away from home! haha...
Ok, on a lighter note, I got a laptop! Finally managed to persuade my parents to buy me one. It's a Fujitsu! Haha, Fufu no 2 eh Bernice jiejie? ;) Duno whether to get a printer too, though it's an added bonus, albeit an expensive one. I think it would be v convenient to have one in the room, coz the printing room in the library is such a mad house, and the computer room with the printer has such a LOOOOOOOOONG queue!! But Jieting has a point too, in that a lot of printing will be done, and just using our own printer and ink will just waste SOOO much money... On the other hand, if there is alot of printing to be done, wouldn many trips to the library/comp rooms be required, which also means many trips to finding terminals in those places will be required, AND not to forget the fact that there is always the chance of the printers jamming up like in Jieting's case last week. I dun really relish the thought of having to queue countless times, and squeezing with many others in a cramped room..... or maybe i'm just spoilt. Ah well, nth beats home, where i can do anything i want without having to queue. Haha, i can jsut simply jump queue or kick von and lun off the chairs! Muahahahahahha. Nah, i dun do that. We co-operate. =) yah and i can do other thigns while waiting for the printing to start oso. How nice is it?
Haha, now, i'm going to enjoy my stay at home. Excusez Moi.... =)
Ok, on a lighter note, I got a laptop! Finally managed to persuade my parents to buy me one. It's a Fujitsu! Haha, Fufu no 2 eh Bernice jiejie? ;) Duno whether to get a printer too, though it's an added bonus, albeit an expensive one. I think it would be v convenient to have one in the room, coz the printing room in the library is such a mad house, and the computer room with the printer has such a LOOOOOOOOONG queue!! But Jieting has a point too, in that a lot of printing will be done, and just using our own printer and ink will just waste SOOO much money... On the other hand, if there is alot of printing to be done, wouldn many trips to the library/comp rooms be required, which also means many trips to finding terminals in those places will be required, AND not to forget the fact that there is always the chance of the printers jamming up like in Jieting's case last week. I dun really relish the thought of having to queue countless times, and squeezing with many others in a cramped room..... or maybe i'm just spoilt. Ah well, nth beats home, where i can do anything i want without having to queue. Haha, i can jsut simply jump queue or kick von and lun off the chairs! Muahahahahahha. Nah, i dun do that. We co-operate. =) yah and i can do other thigns while waiting for the printing to start oso. How nice is it?
Haha, now, i'm going to enjoy my stay at home. Excusez Moi.... =)
Friday, July 29, 2005
Zooming by....
Thank God it's FRIDAY! I can go home! YAY! Though I just left home yesterday, it seems like it was a week ago. Haha... Nothing beats being at home I tell u, even though the company is good in the hostel and the envt is not too bad... Just heard that there's gonna be a series of hall events coming up soon, one of them being the Bottle in Six, where each block in hall 6 is supposed to come up with a skit. *shrugs* oh well, nothing has been said in our block, so I shall go on my merry way and pretend nth is going on... =p
Left the hostel room at 12 somthing, and decided to go explore Library 2, where it's said that that's where the textbooks are. Hrumph. couldn't see any regarding econs... which i'm having probs with after yesterday's disastrous lecture. It makes me wonder if i should continue taking that subj or not. But the thought of having to trawl thru the class schedules and stuff is sooooo daunting. think i'll just stick with it and hope for the best. Meanwhile, i hope i can manage to borrow the book from jieting for once a week. Otherwise, I'm seriously a goner. I wonder if my parents will allow me to bring a printer to the hostel? Coz printing stuff in the comp labs and the library is just so much of a mad rush. the printing room in the library itself is a mad house, with everyone squeezing to print their stuff. Not to mention that one has to grab a terminal in the library first before going to print the stuff in the printing room. And i thot a printer wasn necessary. It would help loads if the lecturers could upload the notes into the edveNTUre one week earlier so that we can go home and print though.... *looks hopefully* Yah, so back to my story. I couldn find any books in lib 2, so i loitered around said library in search of a terminal to do my readings on next week's lecture. I managed to find a terminal, but it was spoilt. -_-" Couldn bear with the thought of heading back to hostel, so decided to come to lee wee nam lib, where FINALLY i found a terminal and started. ALAS! i had thot there weren't any notes to print out for today's lecture, but it wasnt meant to be. the notes were posted yesterday, and i didn't know!! argh. So i had to copy them. Manually. =p yah, so that's how i spent my time from 1230 to bout 4, which is sooo not easy coz there are only so many thigns u can do in a lib. finding a terminal helped alot acty, so.... thanks to it, i managed to while my time away.
Ah. it's almost 4. Time to make my way to lecture. Let's just hope and pray hard that i'll find the place and come out of the LT with my brain still intact.
Home beckons....!!!!
One and a half more hours......
Left the hostel room at 12 somthing, and decided to go explore Library 2, where it's said that that's where the textbooks are. Hrumph. couldn't see any regarding econs... which i'm having probs with after yesterday's disastrous lecture. It makes me wonder if i should continue taking that subj or not. But the thought of having to trawl thru the class schedules and stuff is sooooo daunting. think i'll just stick with it and hope for the best. Meanwhile, i hope i can manage to borrow the book from jieting for once a week. Otherwise, I'm seriously a goner. I wonder if my parents will allow me to bring a printer to the hostel? Coz printing stuff in the comp labs and the library is just so much of a mad rush. the printing room in the library itself is a mad house, with everyone squeezing to print their stuff. Not to mention that one has to grab a terminal in the library first before going to print the stuff in the printing room. And i thot a printer wasn necessary. It would help loads if the lecturers could upload the notes into the edveNTUre one week earlier so that we can go home and print though.... *looks hopefully* Yah, so back to my story. I couldn find any books in lib 2, so i loitered around said library in search of a terminal to do my readings on next week's lecture. I managed to find a terminal, but it was spoilt. -_-" Couldn bear with the thought of heading back to hostel, so decided to come to lee wee nam lib, where FINALLY i found a terminal and started. ALAS! i had thot there weren't any notes to print out for today's lecture, but it wasnt meant to be. the notes were posted yesterday, and i didn't know!! argh. So i had to copy them. Manually. =p yah, so that's how i spent my time from 1230 to bout 4, which is sooo not easy coz there are only so many thigns u can do in a lib. finding a terminal helped alot acty, so.... thanks to it, i managed to while my time away.
Ah. it's almost 4. Time to make my way to lecture. Let's just hope and pray hard that i'll find the place and come out of the LT with my brain still intact.
Home beckons....!!!!
One and a half more hours......
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Back! For a limited period.
I'm back(!)... after 1 day of staying in the hostel. Haha... In case you are wondering if I have given up staying in the hostel due to my homesickness, I'm sorry to say, you wondered wrong! =) It's coz there are no classes today, and I figured since I miss home so much and I have nothing to do back in the hostel, I might as well come home to enjoy my room and the comforts of home. =) Do u know something irritating?! Initially, I thought I could stay at home and go homr on thurs/fri night, and i was sooo happy! unfortunately, there came an announcement saying that there's gonna be a make up lecture on thurs, and the weird time of 430pm. MY GOODNESS!!! that time is sooo not here not there ok! so I'll have to go down with my father prob during lunch time, where i'll stay in the room till bout 4, then make my way down to the LT and spend 2 hours down there, and then spend the night in the hostel, and on fri, spend the day in the hostel room until 4 again, then go down to the LT, and spend ONE hour down there then go home. OMG. What kind of a timetable is this rite?! ARGH. the lessons are so late in the day! at such funny times somemore! It wouldn help if i dropped that subj, coz i still have a tutorial earlier in the day for some other subj. =( nvm. i'll jsut stick with it for another 13 weeks, then it'll be over! lalalalaa.... incidentally, is 13 weeks = 1 semester? why do all my lessons last for 13 weeks if 13 weeks is not = 1 sem? i dun understand.
anyway, the hostel is quite nice. quiet environment, and the air is really fresh in the morning. I haven't breathed air that fresh in the morning since I was in primary 2. Haha.... My roommate Serene is nice too! haha, considerate and sweet. =) It's just that the toilet leaves MUCH to be desired though. Blocked sinks, with hair inside them somemore, stained mirrors.... all these seem to be able to set the stage for some horror movie doesn't it? =) Luckily we found a toilet at the furthest end of our block, where it's much cleaner. Not only are there more cubicles to bathe in, but the the toilet's bright, the sinks are clean AND unblocked. hehe... it's still kinda scary to visit the toilet at night though....
ntu's LARGE. Unfortunately or fortunately- it all depends on ur perspective- it seems a much wider choice all around to walk instead of taking a bus or a shuttle, coz the transport goes one loop around the campus. haha... so ALOT of walking is involved, particularly when one can't find the place one is supposed to go to. THEN it gets downright frustrating. And tiring. But overall, it's.... quite an eye-opening experience. EXPERIENCE NANYANG!
Sometimes when all is quiet, i get the feeling that NTU is a civilisation all by itself. I mean, it's so self-contained (we have the Nanyang Supermarket, a hairdressing salon which has been around longer than I've been alive, hostels, accomodation for the staff, recreation places...). We seem to be so far away from the outside world, which to me, seems... kinda lonely. It's kind of like I'm the only one left behind in my family, wandering the world.... ;) I know it sounds pessimisstic and all, but I guess this makes me just treasure my family and the time i spend with them even more. So, i guess, in the long run, this is an experience i will look back on with a smile and say with gratitude, "Thank God for the chance to stay in the hostel. Now I know how warm my family and home is." and in addition to that, I'd have learnt to live on my own, and how to take care of my own stuff. Haha, and if (I ever) have my own children next time, they can't argue with me that staying in the hostel is not good. MUAHAHAHAHAHA they cant fool me!!
Lastly, special thanks to bernice jiejie, who smsed me after she read my blog entry and consoled me- u know, the really depressed sounding one?- it was great and a PLEASANT surprise to receive ur sms!! =)
And to alan oso, for adding that note to my tagboard, which seemed to put staying in the hostel in a more positive light, though i haven't figured out how it made it so. It just seemed better somehow. hee...
ok, so back to the hostel i'll go tomorrow, and though i'll still feel reluctant to go, at least this time i'll know what i'm in for, and there is also the prospect of returning home in another 2 days' time! =)
anyway, the hostel is quite nice. quiet environment, and the air is really fresh in the morning. I haven't breathed air that fresh in the morning since I was in primary 2. Haha.... My roommate Serene is nice too! haha, considerate and sweet. =) It's just that the toilet leaves MUCH to be desired though. Blocked sinks, with hair inside them somemore, stained mirrors.... all these seem to be able to set the stage for some horror movie doesn't it? =) Luckily we found a toilet at the furthest end of our block, where it's much cleaner. Not only are there more cubicles to bathe in, but the the toilet's bright, the sinks are clean AND unblocked. hehe... it's still kinda scary to visit the toilet at night though....
ntu's LARGE. Unfortunately or fortunately- it all depends on ur perspective- it seems a much wider choice all around to walk instead of taking a bus or a shuttle, coz the transport goes one loop around the campus. haha... so ALOT of walking is involved, particularly when one can't find the place one is supposed to go to. THEN it gets downright frustrating. And tiring. But overall, it's.... quite an eye-opening experience. EXPERIENCE NANYANG!
Sometimes when all is quiet, i get the feeling that NTU is a civilisation all by itself. I mean, it's so self-contained (we have the Nanyang Supermarket, a hairdressing salon which has been around longer than I've been alive, hostels, accomodation for the staff, recreation places...). We seem to be so far away from the outside world, which to me, seems... kinda lonely. It's kind of like I'm the only one left behind in my family, wandering the world.... ;) I know it sounds pessimisstic and all, but I guess this makes me just treasure my family and the time i spend with them even more. So, i guess, in the long run, this is an experience i will look back on with a smile and say with gratitude, "Thank God for the chance to stay in the hostel. Now I know how warm my family and home is." and in addition to that, I'd have learnt to live on my own, and how to take care of my own stuff. Haha, and if (I ever) have my own children next time, they can't argue with me that staying in the hostel is not good. MUAHAHAHAHAHA they cant fool me!!
Lastly, special thanks to bernice jiejie, who smsed me after she read my blog entry and consoled me- u know, the really depressed sounding one?- it was great and a PLEASANT surprise to receive ur sms!! =)
And to alan oso, for adding that note to my tagboard, which seemed to put staying in the hostel in a more positive light, though i haven't figured out how it made it so. It just seemed better somehow. hee...
ok, so back to the hostel i'll go tomorrow, and though i'll still feel reluctant to go, at least this time i'll know what i'm in for, and there is also the prospect of returning home in another 2 days' time! =)
Sunday, July 24, 2005
Last Day
*Sob!* for the next 5 days, i shall be staying in the hostel, somewat away from civilisation, without computers and tv..!! oh man... i dunno how i'm gonna do that. I'm still very attached to the abovementioned sources of entertainment, and the 9pm show! ahh!!! i was just getting into the show, and now i have to pry my brains and eyes away from it.
Staying in another place (even if it's only 5 days a week) is quite hard for me, actually, no matter what ppl say bout needing to be independent etc. I've been staying with my family for 19 years, and we see each other day in day out, it will be kinda hard to live with the fact that i'm gonna have to see them only twice a week, and not be able to take part in daily conversations with them and catch up with them with whatever has gone on in their lives everyday. There's gonna be no more listening to how the day was every dinner, and no more tokking to yi lun until the wee hours of the nite, when i'm trying to slp or read and she's telling me more bout wat happened in sch, or vice versa, no more complaining bout schnoozee and his ungentlemanliness or his loose bladder with evon... not that i ever felt i could live without all these, but i just never thot that the day would come so soon when i would have to stay away from them for 6 months, only seeing them twice a week. I guess i sound wimpish, whining so much bout staying in the hostel, especially when the hostel is still in Singapore, the well known "little red dot". Well... thats true, but i'm in BOON LAY!! Where is my family? in BEDOK! it seems like another state for all i care. I like having familiars around me, and now that i'm suddenly moving to another place, especially a place where i seldom go, or had no knowledge of its geography until recently, it certainly feels like home is suddenly like on another planet. no doubt there are friends with me, but i do still crave for the warmth of family. My family.
Haha, just thinking bout this makes me teary already. I guess I'll get used to it soon. I hope i DO get used to it soon, or i'll be in deep trouble man.. haha... i guess this is good training to live on my own...
I miss home already.......
Staying in another place (even if it's only 5 days a week) is quite hard for me, actually, no matter what ppl say bout needing to be independent etc. I've been staying with my family for 19 years, and we see each other day in day out, it will be kinda hard to live with the fact that i'm gonna have to see them only twice a week, and not be able to take part in daily conversations with them and catch up with them with whatever has gone on in their lives everyday. There's gonna be no more listening to how the day was every dinner, and no more tokking to yi lun until the wee hours of the nite, when i'm trying to slp or read and she's telling me more bout wat happened in sch, or vice versa, no more complaining bout schnoozee and his ungentlemanliness or his loose bladder with evon... not that i ever felt i could live without all these, but i just never thot that the day would come so soon when i would have to stay away from them for 6 months, only seeing them twice a week. I guess i sound wimpish, whining so much bout staying in the hostel, especially when the hostel is still in Singapore, the well known "little red dot". Well... thats true, but i'm in BOON LAY!! Where is my family? in BEDOK! it seems like another state for all i care. I like having familiars around me, and now that i'm suddenly moving to another place, especially a place where i seldom go, or had no knowledge of its geography until recently, it certainly feels like home is suddenly like on another planet. no doubt there are friends with me, but i do still crave for the warmth of family. My family.
Haha, just thinking bout this makes me teary already. I guess I'll get used to it soon. I hope i DO get used to it soon, or i'll be in deep trouble man.. haha... i guess this is good training to live on my own...
I miss home already.......
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Matriculation
WHEW! Matriculation's finally done, and so is registration of subjects. Goodness, imagine having to do the same thing 7 more times! I'm just so gonna die. haha...
Initially I had thot that I had chosen all my subj properly. OMG was I ever so wrong in that. You see, I had chosen 2 additional Psychology subj, happily thinking that I could complete the course faster. However, I had failed to understand the paper that was sent to us. It said, "Choose subjects that do not have any pre-requisites". And what did I do? I very merrily went on my way and researched on those subjects, conveniently forgetting that they had pre-requisites to them. -_-" And then I had to suffer a nasty shock today upon realising my error. I mean, how dense can I be? So I started the process all over again. Researching on whatever subjects I wanted to take, checking vacancies, exam timetables, class schedules...... Sheesh!
Oh well, all that's over now, thank goodness! I dun think I'm going to do anymore adding or dropping during the add/drop subj period. I'm content with mine. Well, except for one of the courses, where I'll be rushing like a mad woman. Hmm, I think it's Wednesday. My lessons are mostly in the afternoon somemore. I've got one morning one though, on thurs, but it's not too early, so thank god for that. Not that I'd mind earlier, coz the earlier i finish them, the earlier i can go off to do watever i wanna do in the afternoon u see.... =) I haven fully analysed my timetable yet.... further updates after I have analysed it. =) I registered for one course called Cinematic Pleasures and the Question of Identity. Haha, it sounds so Rossetti, but I think it's kinda interesting. Perhaps also something that won't be too foreign? Looking forward to that lesson, though I think few other ppl I know are going to take that subj. Hmm, so anyone in NTU whom I know, I hope u find this subj interesting and register for it k? Then we can take lessons in that together! =)
Initially I had thot that I had chosen all my subj properly. OMG was I ever so wrong in that. You see, I had chosen 2 additional Psychology subj, happily thinking that I could complete the course faster. However, I had failed to understand the paper that was sent to us. It said, "Choose subjects that do not have any pre-requisites". And what did I do? I very merrily went on my way and researched on those subjects, conveniently forgetting that they had pre-requisites to them. -_-" And then I had to suffer a nasty shock today upon realising my error. I mean, how dense can I be? So I started the process all over again. Researching on whatever subjects I wanted to take, checking vacancies, exam timetables, class schedules...... Sheesh!
Oh well, all that's over now, thank goodness! I dun think I'm going to do anymore adding or dropping during the add/drop subj period. I'm content with mine. Well, except for one of the courses, where I'll be rushing like a mad woman. Hmm, I think it's Wednesday. My lessons are mostly in the afternoon somemore. I've got one morning one though, on thurs, but it's not too early, so thank god for that. Not that I'd mind earlier, coz the earlier i finish them, the earlier i can go off to do watever i wanna do in the afternoon u see.... =) I haven fully analysed my timetable yet.... further updates after I have analysed it. =) I registered for one course called Cinematic Pleasures and the Question of Identity. Haha, it sounds so Rossetti, but I think it's kinda interesting. Perhaps also something that won't be too foreign? Looking forward to that lesson, though I think few other ppl I know are going to take that subj. Hmm, so anyone in NTU whom I know, I hope u find this subj interesting and register for it k? Then we can take lessons in that together! =)
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