Bitching V200

You know, they should really invent this robot where you can fix the face of whoever you want to beat up so that you can just beat the hell out of whoever you want to beat up. Perhaps that way fewer people will resort to repressing their feelings and there might even be fewer reports of violence.

Speaking of which, I wish it were legal to beat up people to a bloody bloody pulp. Imagine the satisfaction. And I do wish some people would just know when to keep their freaking bloody mouths shut when people are already giving signals that they don't like the topic and have no freaking desire whatsoever to explore the topic further. But then again, to be rude is to go against the darling Confucius values that we hold oh-so-close to our stupid hypocritical hearts. And all for what? To give face. Oh, if it's who I think you are thinking that I'm angry at, it's not. There are more than one person who can make us go against our wonderful Confucius values.

On an entirely separate issue, this is about the Sabah issue.

I know I was supposed to book the hotels today, but the house is so freakishly bloody noisy that any attempt to speak on the phone makes me want to smash the phone against the wall. I'll make the reservations when I come back k? I know it's procrastination on my part again, but if you were staying in my house, you'd know what I mean. AND my parents have suggested us going to kinabalu park in the middle of our trip. That is, like maybe the 27th or something, then after that one night we go back to the original hotel where there will be transport to the airport when we leave. IF the original hotel that we are staying in agrees to let us do that, I shall go on and book it like that k? But of course, hopefully the conference itinerary doesn't clash with our plans. OK, here's the case:

1) we go to the Kinabalu Park in the middle of our stay there.
Pros: we can easily get free transport to the airport, and this is good because our flight is at 1015, and we need to check in 2 hours earlier, so if there's free transport, and this hotel's really close to the airport, we don't have to wake up earlier

Cons: we face the possibility of the itinerary clashing with our plans.
the hotel might not let us do so.

2) we follow our original plan to go there on our 2nd last day and stay the night
Pros: no disruption of the itinerary

Cons: on the day we go back, we have to wake up really early. 2 hours before check-in, that's 0815, right? then it's another 2 hours to the airport, which means we have to leave by 6 plus, which then means we need to wake up latest 5 plus.

We could change the time of our flight to the one at 2105, but I checked the price, it's RM30 more expensive than what we paid for, which is RM89.99, which is not feasible I think.

So... what do you think? Leave your comment on the tagboard k? I probably should have emailed you about this, but I think it might be better like this, so the person who replies first can see the other's comments... =)

Ok I'm going to get ready to go off to Malaysia. Sorry for the delay in arranging accommodations. It's my first time organising it, and there seem to be so many things to consider, and new advice given, so hopefully I'll become better at this given more practice...

The Significant Other

Have you ever wondered why they called your other half your "better half" or your "significant other"? I've been thinking about it these days, and I think the reason is that your partner is supposed to be the other part of you that completes you. Like, you know how they say that nature occurs in a circle?

Just like Blue's song, "Best in Me"- " 'Cos you bring out the best in me/ That no one else can do/ That's why I'm by your side/ That's why I love you"- that's why our other half is supposed to be the better part of ourselves.

Of course, as the other half, you're supposed to bring out the best in your partner. That's how a true relationship works, I guess. I guess from this, I sound rather idealistic, but blame it on those romance stories that I always read. The two leads always seem to make each other see their faults more clearly, and thus make them more willing to change for the better. Similarly, I've heard some of my friends saying that their boyfriends have made them into better people.

We know that we show our ugliest sides to people whom we love. The more we love them and care about them, the uglier the sides we show them. I guess we do that because we feel safe with them, that their love for us won't change because of it. Perhaps during the course of showing our ugly sides, we are allowing that side of ourselves to be changed? Of course, we won't immediately show that sides of ourselves to that important Other. Sometimes, it may just so happen that we see what the Other has done, and it impresses us so much that we might want to emulate him/her so that we may feel even more validated and perhaps, more loved or closer to him/her, because we know that is what we lack, and that particular action is something we know which is right to do. In emulating the behaviour, aren't we changing ourselves for the better?

In times of problems, isn't it that support for the Other is often emphasised, urging the Other not to give up, to persevere? Isn't this also an act of making the Other become a better person? After all, what doesn't kill us, often makes us stronger and wiser the next time round.

The value of the significant other doesn't apply only to partners, of course. Everyone provides us with a chance to better ourselves. I used partners because they are the ones who will be with us for the next rest of our lives after our family, and they will be the ones whom we will spend the most time with for the rest of our lives, and therefore, be the ones with the greatest impact on our lives. Don't you think so?

Yes! I managed to put it up! Thanks Merrilyn!

Watch TV!

Youtube

I wish I hadn't "upgraded" my blog now... I can't even post up videos on youtube! so irritating!! Does anyone know how to post up videos with a gmail account on blogger?

Long long belated post

Haha I know this is a very very belated post. It's a post about my birthday(s) that was over, like, 3 months ago? Haha, nonetheless, I had such a memorable birthday it wouldn't seem right not to blog about it and show you what wonderful people I've been surrounded by. =)

The first celebration was held early in February, at Hotel Intercontinental. It was meant to be a family celebration, with Evon, Yi Lun and me staying in the hotel after that. But unbeknownst to me, Evon and Yi Lun secretly invited Alvin, Merrilyn, Pony and Si Huan there. And I got such a shock! The surprise was rather well done. I never suspected anything until they were there. And imagine how puzzled I was when Evon told me to go help her to take the KFC when my father had gone to the door and came back empty-handed. -_-" The photos are below. Because Blogger takes such a fantastically long time to upload the photos, and when they are uploaded, the texts get pushed so far down, I've compiled them into one file:

I had a wonderful time that day, thanks to my family and PASYM. Thank you so much for coming! I know you were all busy by that time, but still you managed to come celebrate my birthday with me and went home so late some more. Thanks! =)

The day of my birthday, I had a celebration at home with my family again! This time, 'cos it was the 3rd day of CNY, most cake shops weren't open, and of course, my FAVOURITE tiramisu shop- Tiramisutra- wasn't too, which meant we went to other cake shops to look for cakes. We combed the Siglap area, and it was a toss-up between Temptations and Polar. Polar's selection wasn't very exciting, and their chocolate cake selection was... well, not exciting as well. So we went Temptations! The cake was not bad, but not exactly memorable. Prima Deli would have been better, really. BUT: being able to celebrate it with family was really good. Imagine, on my birthday next year, it would just be my parents and I celebrating my birthday. So... my birthday can be said to be the last one that the whole family can celebrate together for a good long while. And what's more significant was that it was my 21st birthday! How good is that? =D

Next, the day after my birthday, we went to the Teochew restaurant. This time, was Catherine, Merrilyn, Pony and Si Huan and I who went to the restaurant. Alvin was busy with AIESEC stuff I think. It was the first time I'd been to a Teochew restaurant, and it's a good first time I think. Teochew food's not bad. A bit on the bland side for me I guess, but still, I heard that the purpose of its blandness was for the original taste to come through. And come through it did, and that's what I liked about it. When I was compiling the pictures, it occurred to me that I should have taken the namecard.

And then, was a get-together with Jie Ting and Jiun Pey for my birthday. So nice! We went out on a weekend, I think it was the same week as my birthday, to Orchard to shop! Haha I like going out with them, and, just a sidetrack: JT and JP: when are we going out again? 25th May? Haha.. We had dinner at Crystal Jade La Mian Xiao Long Bao, one of my favouritest places.

The jacket I'm wearing in the photo on the bottom left corner is the present from them. It was bought 'cos my Fila jacket (you know, the super oversized, super obiang one?) is too "childish" for a person who just turned 21. Haha and I agree, just that the Fila one's too comfortable, and is one of the warmest jackets I have. =) But I'm glad for this jacket too, coz it's just as warm, and looks so much nicer. Haha.. Thanks! =)

And then, the finale of my birthday. The train set I've been lusting after since I was young!

Ok, so it's not the train set I've wanted since I was young. Well, to be more specific, I never had a model in mind. I just liked seeing the trains moving on the tracks, moving up, moving down, making noise... You know, all those train-ey stuff? Well, I finally got it! This has got to be the most expensive present. Though I don't know how much it costs, I have a pretty good idea where the price range is, and it's definitely not cheap. This train set is a collector's edition leh! My first train set and I get a collector's edition! How cool is that?! And it runs on electricity, and the tracks can change, and it's so detailed and it's so big and long.... Haha it's my dream come true, and I should really, again, thank PASYM for going to so much trouble to find it. Of course, alot of other people have to be thanked as well for this present. It's too long to list it all, but let me group them together: Psych majors, Deli Aprecio Main Comm, my Hall 6 neighbours. Of course, I should thank Venus as well, for lending them her credit card to make payment, and for being so patient when there were problems with the payment. I wish I could display my train set at home, but currently, there isn't any space, so I have to keep it wrapped in its original form until I can display them properly. I can't bear thinking that the colour will fade, or the tracks will become rusty if I don't take good care of them, so take care of them I will, even if that means I can only look at them every now and then. Haha.. =)

Well, this has been a really long post, and, well, to all those who sent me well-wishes on my birthday, and those who in any way made my birthday such a memorable and wonderful one, I'd like to say a BIG THANK YOU to you! =) It's not the presents per se that I'm grateful for, it's the knowledge that I'm being remembered by you on my birthday that makes me feel all nice and fuzzy inside. Really, thanks for everything! =D

Here's a nice quote Yi Lun told me about yesterday. I think it's quite cute. What do you think?

"The Earth is full. Go home."

I am craving for....

Bah Chor Mee
Nasi Lemak
Prawn Noodles


I'll tell you more when I think of more... I'm so hungryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

SMS-ing

Hello hello, just a note to tell you all, if I don't reply your SMS, it's not cos I dao you or don't want to talk to you or anything k? It's coz I'm trying to save my SMS-es. Last month I sent 800+ SMS-es, so my parents are not very happy. This month and the nexts I'll need to try my best to keep it down. So I hope you all understand! =)

Thanks!

Haha today's presentation went very well, thanks to all those who showed me support in one way or another and those who listened to me complain and complain and complain non-stop about presenting! Haha I know I was a pain in the you-know-where, but really, thanks alot. =) In no order of preference...

Merrilyn
Thanks for:
- listening to my complains
- the sms today
- staying back to listen to the presentation

Si Huan
Thanks for:
- driving me to wherever yesterday just so I wouldn't be late for the meeting AGAIN!! Haha... In the end I wasn't, but I had to make them walk all the way from North Spine. Haha... Felt rather bad, but oh well... Hee...
- listening to me go on and on about the presentation
- wanting to know how the presentation went. =)

Si Jia
Haha you're probably not gonna read this, but oh well, since I'm thanking you all, you are included too! =)
Thanks for:
- volunteering to listen to me and giving me comments!!
- yes, and also listening to me go on and on about the presentation... -_-"

Alvin Hong
Thanks for:
- volunteering to come over to help me to rehearse my presentation. Haha... I know, he's prob not gonna read this either, but what the hell... Haha...

JK
Thanks for:
- yep, you guessed it right, listening to me.
- listening again... Hahaha, these few days I think you've been listening to me go round in circles about many many things, thanks for ur patience!! =)

Yep, I guess what's going through your mind now should be, "Why is this Yi Ling so ke qi again?" Well, I think I should let you all know how much your gestures meant to me. They may have been small, but they showed that you cared, and I really appreciate that. =)

And I shall stop being so incredibly soppy and mushy and ke qi. =p

Happy studying!!

Your Birthdate: February 20

You may watch someone from afar before you finally decide to make your move. It takes a long time for you to develop an attraction to someone. Generally, you prefer to pick who you love. Anyone who tries to rush you is in for some heartache. Number of True Loves You'll Have: 4 Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 4 You are most compatible with people born on the 2nd, 11th, 20th, and 29th of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

That's rather depressing...

Don't Forget to Remember Me - Carrie Underwood

18 years have come and gone
For momma they flew by
But for me they dragged on and on
We were loading up that Chevy
Both tryin' not to cry
Momma kept on talking
Putting off good-bye
Then she took my hand and said
"Baby don't forget:

Before you hit the highway
You better stop for gas
There's a 50 in the ashtray I
n case you run short on cash
Here's a map and here's a Bible
If you ever lose your way

Just one more thing before you leave
Don't forget to remember me"

This downtown apartment sure makes me miss home
and those bills there on the counter
Keep telling me I'm on my own
And just like every Sunday I called momma up last night
And even when it's not, I tell her everything's all right
Before we hung up I said "Hey momma, don't forget:

to tell my baby sister
I'll see her in the fall
And tell me-maw that I miss her
Yeah, I should give her a call
And make sure you tell Daddy that I'm still his little girl
Yeah I still feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be
Don't forget to remember me"

Tonight I find myself kneeling by the bed to pray
I haven't done this in a while
So I don't know what to say but
Lord, I feel so small sometimes in this big ol' place
I know there are more important things, but
Don't forget to remember me
Don't forget to remember me



Go find this song!!

I realise there have been quite a few posts about death these days, but... well, nothing makes a person feel closer to the reality of death than when you hear someone around you or someone close to the person around you passes away.

I just learnt my groupmate's mother passed away last Thursday night. I'm not close to him, but I can just imagine the shock and the dread and the pain he must have felt when he went back to see his mother. If it was me, I'd probably be numb now. I just can't imagine losing any of my loved ones. I never want to let them go. Even though it's another person's mother, when I think of it happening to me, I just feel this great urge to cry.

I know when a person's time is up, it's up. But it doesn't make letting go any easier. I just want to hold on for as long as I can. I know I said I'd opt for euthanasia if I ever came to the stage where treatment was no use for me. But what some people have told me about my loved ones not wanting me to opt for that have made me consider it deeper. If my loved ones were to opt for it, I'd probably refuse to acknowledge it too. Regardless of how silly it is to hold on to someone who can't respond, I'm sure at the back of their minds is the small small hope that as long as life support is given, there's a chance that he/she will wake up one day. That's why I'm afraid of death. I don't want to leave anyone behind. You could say I'm afraid of the unknown, and I'd agree, but only because I don't know if there's an afterlife. If there is, probably I won't be as afraid, because it means I'll be able to bring my memories with me and still watch them. But if there isn't, would it mean abandoning them? I really don't want to.

Oh man, I'm sounding like a soppy sod now... Oh well, maybe it's just hormones, or the realness of death....

Death

Is a person considered dead when he/she loses his/her mind?

Change the World - Westlife

This song has been playing in my head since Si Huan sang it yesterday. There's something about the lyrics that's making me want to put it up. But I think it's a nice song. It used to be one of my favourite songs, but I've stopped listening to Westlife, so... it got forgotten as time went by... =)


Since you've gone,
well it seems like everything is wrong,
And deep inside,
I know that i've,lost much more than pride,
Well, happiness is getting further away,
Girl,i miss you more than words can say.

I need a miracle now,
so tell me,

How can i change the world,
Cause i sure can't change your mind,
Where's the miracle i need now,
got to get to you somehow,
Cause i can't change the world.
I can't change the world,
No, i can't change the world,
I can't change the world.

Losing you,
well it's been the hardest thing to do,
So, i close my eyes and tell myself,
that somehow i'll survive.
Well you gave me heaven,
then you took it away,
Girl, i miss you more with each passing day,
i need a miracle now,so tell me...

How can i change the world, (change it)
Cause i sure can't change your mind,
Where's the miracle i need now,
got to get to you somehow.

And baby,
so sad that you have to leave me,
just so you can find yourself,
And it's so sad that you just can't see,
I love you more than life itself.

No, i can't change the world,
How can i change the world,
Cause i sure can't change your mind,
Where's the miracle i need now,
got to get to you somehow,
Cause i can't change the world,
got to get to you somehow,
No, i can't change the world.....

Tomorrow

Musical: Annie
Song: Tomorrow

The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
There'll be sun!

Just thinkin' about
Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs,
And the sorrow
'Til there's none!

When I'm stuck a day
That's gray,
And lonely,
I just stick out my chin
And Grin,
And Say,
Oh!

The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
So ya gotta hang on
'Til tomorrow
Come what may Tomorrow!
Tomorrow!
I love ya Tomorrow!
You're always
A day
A way!

Haha I put up this song cos it sounded so inspiring, so positive. Hope you all liked it. It was played in the documentary on children with Tourette's Syndrome, and I just thought it was so touching the way they find the courage to carry on with life, regardless of the way people look at them cos of their twitches. Some of them even found the inspiration to want to educate the others about the disorder, and I find that really brave. Or maybe cos they are just children. But... for children to have that kind of mentality, I think it shows how matured they are. Haha I just wish I had that kind of courage. This song was actually composed for a play/musical called "Annie", a story about an English orphan girl. I don't know what the story of this play/musical is, but I think it's quite a famous one. I must research on it after my exams. Haha so many things to do.. Hope I manage to accomplish them!!

Is there a light?

4 weeks more to exams, and there is no sign of a break yet. I'm behind in readings, projects, and reports, and I don't know what to do. Doesn't help that my self-discipline seems to be less than before, such that I can't resist temptations to watch stuff on youtube. Don't ask me what it is, I'm too embarrassed to tell you.

My relatives are here over the weekend, and I sooo wish I could stay home to talk to them. Haha, I like them, and the house is really more lively when there are visitors whom you know and feel rather comfortable with. Now that Yi Lun is still in UK, the house is really quiet. Luckily I have assignments and reports to keep me busy so I don't think about it that much. But still... I do wish I could have more time to interact with them, though I'm like one generation younger. Politics is so much fun. But it would be a different story if anyone were to stay in the same place long-term I guess, so perhaps it's the novelty that's making me wanna stay home. That, and my sense of escapism, which is becoming stronger. The need to sleep is getting stronger too, an indication that all I wanna do is to escape and hibernate until the holidays are here.

But the reality of it all is that life still goes on, doesn't it? Doesn't matter if a person dies, or something catastrophic happens to anyone. The people left behind still have to go on and live life, otherwise they'll die. What's the relation between this topic and the paragraph before? I'm not sure too, but I suppose what I was trying to say is that there's really no point in escapism, since if I decide to escape, I'm just making the consequences more inevitable and much worse than they can get than if I can confront them. Easy words to type and say, but difficult to fulfill.

The need to escape from school's getting stronger too. Beginning to dislike checking sms-es and webmail, for fear that something else is gonna come up that has to be attended to immediately, and disrupting the schedule that I planned in my mind. Oh, if any of you reading this is thinking I'm targetting it at you, don't worry, it's not you, it's the circumstances. I know it's inevitable that communication has to go on in order to get the thing at hand done, but I just don't like it. Don't stop the communication, coz it's necessary. Otherwise, the consequences will suck. Haha, I'm just being bitchy old me, so just treat it like I'm just complaining for the sake of complaining k?

Ahhhhh holidays are coming, I'm sooo looking forward to it. Maybe I should consider 1 week of closing myself up at home. Haha, the prospect of watching tv all I want is just soooo tempting!!!

To all of you who are feeling stressed now, Jiayou!! We'll get through this again!!

I need...

1) more discipline
2) better time management
3)to escape from school!!! and work!!!

haha ok i'm back to my complaining mode again, just humour me lahhhhhhhhh haha...

Relapse

You know how sometimes you thought you finally don't have a weakness for something, and it turns out that addiction was actually in hibernation only? Well I just realised I haven't got over an addiction for online shopping. I was soooo tempted to take part in an earrings spree, until I reminded myself of how sad my bank account looks right now. Argh.

There was a watch spree too! And I was reminded of my love for Fossil watches. Damn but they are such beauties! But one costs at least $135. I saw one that cried out for my money, but alas, I'm a poor church mouse. Gotta scrimp and save first before I can buy you. Even then, perhaps I'd have another new love. Haha. Maybe I should have a new goal for myself- to be a millionaire by a certain age. Probably I'd be more thrifty then.

I gotta find a job during the hols. Definitely. If I don't go on exchange, that is.

My Handphone and other gripings

It's breaking apart. How to trade in like that? Now I have no choice but to bind it with rubber bands. I think nobody's going to accept it for trade in. Pictures later, when I'm in a better mood.

On another not much more pleasant note, I am sick of eating. Do you know how much time is wasted on eating? Imagine how much time can be saved if one meal can settle everything for the whole day. If you've read Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, you'd know about the bubblegum which Violet Beauregarde ate. That bubblegum contains 3 meals in one sweet, and after eating that, we don't have to worry about eating for the rest of the day. Argh. Just eating that one sweet, and chewing it while doing work... I can just imagine how much time it will save. I wonder if the bubblegum will make me feel sleepy after eating it. It would be good if it didn't, then I can do so much more. I know it's a stupid thing to wish for something like that, coz we usually treat meals as breaks from work, and without stopping for meals, we are little better than machines which are recharged by bubblegum... But it's really frustrating to feel hungry then spend half an hour to an hour eating and then spending about another hour battling sleepiness. That's up to an hour wasted.

I like my food. I really do. But I can't stand it when I have so many things to do and my stupid stomach goes rumbling away and I start feeling dizzy. Just wish I didn't have to eat.